We heard through one of the nuttier radio stations Mrs. Thorpe tunes into that Tom Cruise is threatening to sue Andrew Morton, an author who specialises is unofficial biographies of the loonier fringe of the celebrity world.
Superstar Scientologist Tom Cruise (4'6") is considering suing the writer and his publishers over allegations that the child Cruise claims he fathered on second wife Kelly (6'4") is not their natural child but in fact was conceived from the frozen sperm of failed sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of the evil mind control cult of Scientology.
Regular readers may remember from earlier Boggart Blog posts concerning the evil cult of Scientology that followers are required to believe L. Ron Hubbard was in psychic contact with Lord Xena the Warrior Princes or something like that, evil overlord of the Thetans a race of alien superbeings who, having been thrown out of the Intergalactic Federation for interbreeding with primitive lifeforms, came to Earth and waited sisty million or so years until humans evolved so they could get jiggy with cavewomen (Genesis 6:1.)
Now the people who feel called to join the scientology cult and get in touch with their inner Thetan can be admitted to the secrets of the inner sanctum of scientology by completing a rigorous training course which involves paying the cult $350,000. Once admitted to the higher echelons, scientologists learn how they can live forever and are granted super powers like comic book heroes.
The Church of Scientology is very hot on controlling the reproductive processes of its members. Nicole Kidman (7'6") the first wife of midget megastar Cruise became pregnant twice during their marriage but neither pregnancy went to full term. There have been rumours that the Thetans intervened and aborted the pregnancies because Kidman a down to earth Australian was not deemed nutty enough to be mother to a half alien baby.
Cruise's lawyers deny all of this saying the allegations are too ludicrous to be taken seriously and the actor has not yet made up his mind whether to sue.
We do not suppose their is any chance of Cruise and the missis taking little Sumi on the Jerry Springer show for a DNA test.
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Comments: 11
Scientology is a very controlling organization. I've known people to go into Scientology and they are never the same. It's a negative experience. Tom Cruise is probably shielded from the negative effects of Scientology because he is a celebrity who is willing to champion their cause.
You had me until that line. Ludicrous?
Make 'em wait for the gag, that's what comic timing is all about. But isn't it great that these people hand me the fed then give me the punch line too.
Aw c'mon, be fair. Michael Jackson made babies with a girlie didn't he?
Didn't he.......................??? :D
I may make fun but thanks for reminding us there is a very serious side to such cults.
That day cannot come soon enough.
Tom Cruise is NOT gay, lots of Scientologists are straight.
Look at John Travolta.