The Path Goes On

The Mother of my dear husband has come to live with us. I highly recommend such an arrangement for anyone actively seeking spiritual growth.

If that sounds like a sideways slam at my mother-in-law, you have my sympathy. I love this woman. She raised my husband to be a wonderful, caring man, and now I get to give back a tiny bit of the good she has done to me.

There's only one problem: I'm human.

I would never want to hurt her, but I have a quick wit, and I'm always trying to get a laugh out of people. I must be careful about what I say, that I never get a laugh at her expense, and inadvertantly hurt her feelings.

I am also kind of self-centered. I may not be all that important, but I am all I ever think about, which makes it difficult at times to think about others. But I'm trying.

I've known Mom for 23 years or so. I sort of know who she is. I realized that when I forget who she is, we have problems. An example: Mom's tiny, just a little over 5 feet tall. If I put the coffee cups out of her reach, she will not be able to have a clean cup for coffee. She will make do, but eventually she will probably get tired of having to wash a cup out of the dishwasher every time she wants coffee. It could lead to resentment and conflict, things I prefer to avoid.

The solution is simple—put some cups where she can reach them, but it illustrates a basic rule for creating harmony. I cannot expect her to be anything except what she is. She will not grow tall or athletic or develop an interest in nuclear physics because I want her to or think she should. Some of those things are impossible; others are only going to happen if she wants them to.

The main thing is to allow her to be exactly who she is. I must let her be who she wants to be and forget about my notions of what ought to be. I have to remember that the Universe is perfect, and each of us receives precisely the correct dosage of life to bring us to our highest potential.

The cups are on the bottom shelf. God and I talk regularly. Mom went to water aerobics for the first time yesterday and said she'd go back today. The Path goes on.

Pax