If you are suffering from an invisible illness or a mental illness, or are a supporter of someone who suffers from some of these condtions, you will need to understand some very important basics.
1. Handling a mental disorder or being a supporter of one who suffers with an illness, means being involved with a balancing act. There is no such thing as a perfect solution to an invisible illness. There will be setbacks.
2. Your attitude as a sufferer or a supporter of an invisible illness is extremely important. Do you have a "can do" atitude, or are you just waiting around for a disaster to happen? Be proactive, not reactive.
3. There is no such thing as a perfect combination of medications that will completely heal you or the person you support.
4. There is no such person as the perfect doctor, perfect psychiatrist, perfect psychologist, or perfect counsellor. Finding a good doctor and other professionals means giving it some time for the patient and professional to click.
5. You should think of treatment options and coping strategies as two different and separate entities. You need both of them to survive and be at least somewhat comfortable and functional.
6. Even when the patient has finally settled into a routine with a good balance of medications, therapy, and coping strategies, some things will probably go wrong. Expect change and plan for it.
7. In our minds we need to separate the disorder from the person. When a person is suffering from a setback or relapse, try not to take what they do and/or say personally. If you are the sufferer, be prepared to apologize and make right what goes wrong during an episode or incident. People will respect you more if you admit that you were wrong or did something imappropriate and apologize. Being defensive does not win over friends and caregivers. Don't alienate your support network!
8. Give everything time to work. A few weeks or even a few months does not constitute a good amount of time for a medication or a doctor's efforts to begin to work.
9. Actively seek out more coping strategies. These should be things you do, positive persons to hang out with, good counsel, music that lifts you up, healthy living activities, reading positive things that motivate you, new kinds of therapy especially if old ones are not working for you. Take on a new hobby, or take classes on something that interests you. You can never have enough good coping strategies.
10. Stay educated about medications, medical practices, counseling techniques, alternative therapies, about the professionals that actually do some good, and so on. Take responsibility for your recovery.
11. Keep accurate records of your medical history, the medications you take, and have taken but discontinued, the type of therapy you use and have used, your diet, your exercise habits, your sleep habits. Make sure all is documented and ready to take with you to show your doctors when needed. They will help you more when they realize you are serious about being helped.
12. We don't have to like the mental illness or invisible illness or disorder, but we do need to have good positive attitudes about ourself and/or the person we are supporting. If you are negative about yourself or the person you support, then you need to take steps to change that attitude. That's why I keep saying separate your illness from yourself as a person. Don't let your illness define you. Some mental illnesses affect the way we feel and sometimes the way we think. But it doesn't change us as a person. We are still in there, but sometimes buried.
May these good attitudes and attributes help you make 2008 one of your best years as a supporter of a person with a mental or invisible illness, or as a person with one of these disorders.
You are special, and life is worth the effort!
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Comments: 22
Learning to think positive and living a positive is hard work but well worth it
Deborah, you are so right! It is hard work. It's much easier to just give up and grouch out!
Mary, so do I! I grew up with a bipolar Mom, and no one ever acknowledged it.
Dina, my family needs to read this stuff too! They have never been able to separate my Mom's bipolar from her "real" character.
Rebekah, I can relate to that. Most of my Mom's family won't have anything to do with her because of her past behavior. So our family never gets together. Pretty sad.
This is advice I can use having a friend who suffers from this.
Joy, I hope this helps. Thanks, Debbie and William.
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