Hello all~
Just needed to vent after a very long two days. As you can tell from the title of the article, this discussion is about alcohol and substance abuse. My younger brother, let's call him Mitch, has been abusing pain pills since he was about 15 (he is now 25). He has had five knee surgeries in 10 years... whatever that says about the efficiency of our health care system. He was prescribed Vicodin, and for whatever reason, the doctors kept giving it to him again and again. He has not only been getting it from his own doctor, but he's been doctor and pharmacy "hopping", getting it from many different sources. I suppose my family has known about the abuse of Vicodin for years, but it just really never seemed serious, you know?
Over the past six months, he started mixing Vicodin with alcohol.... and that was terribly noticeable. When you talked to him, he always sounded disoriented, he couldn't remember things, and he just was this whole new person. My family wanted to intervene about 3 months ago but my dad talked us out of it, saying he could handle it.
Well, it didn't get handled, and he has now progressed from Vicodin to Oxycotin (just found this out), which is much more addictive and harder on the body. He also mixes that with alcohol. On New Years Eve, he took 4 oxycotin pills and drank almost an entire bottle of Jim Beam. We almost lost him. It was the scariest thing in my life.
He did wake up the next morning, thank God. Remember, at this point, we still didn't know what he had taken. We suspected Vicodin and alcohol, and had no idea about the oxycotin. My mom, other brother, and I, talked about it all day New Years Day and decided to put our feelings in writing (so there could be no misunderstandings as to what we were asking). We called him and asked him to come over, and he initially refused. My mom talked to him about an hour on the phone (did the mother's guilt thing) and he finally did come over this morning. We gave him our letter, we all cried a lot, and he admitted to needing help.
It was then he told us about the Oxycotin and that he's been on it for about 8 weeks, buying it illegally whenever he could afford it (BTW, oxycotin runs about $40 per pill black market). We took him to our family doctor, he told her everything (my mom and I were in the room with him), and she gave us numbers for rehab centers that specialize in prescription drugs and alcohol abuse (apparently, it is a very common problem).
I have been on the phone all day looking for the right treatment center.... the right therapy, the right price, ect. Do any of you have any advice on this topic? Any bit of knowledge you've gained to steer me in the right direction? Please let me know,.... and thanks for listening:)
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Comments: 41
How sad. I wish I could tell you something. I was a drug addict for a long time. Prescription drugs, except it was perfectly legal. I stayed within the dosages the doctors gave me, but the fact they had me on so many drugs and narcotics made me legally a drug addict.
I was blessed because I hated it, but I did not get any "high" from it -- the pain was too bad for a "high".
I just hated the idea that my body had developed a dependency for drugs and specifically one called Fentanyl; I call it the "demon drug."
If he is ready to stop and admit his problem, maybe that is the first step. For me, I cursed the drugs, and swore they would never rule me, was determined to get away from them. I have been drug-free, come to think of it -- no narcotics for at least a year now.
Hmmm. I guess I am celebrating an anniversary.
I wish your brother all the blessings in the world and the power to admit this addiction, and the strength and determination to lick it!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!! Best wishes in finding the right place!!!
His own self-determination is a big, big thing. I know for me I was constantly being told what I could not do, well I do not want to hear what I cannot do -- tell me only what I can do, because I am a "can-do" person. I shocked my own doctors with what I did, the old goats.
If he is determined to do it, he shall do it. The greatest organizations is the world as AA, and DA; I believe they are free(???) and offer support without any dues.
I stopped some of my narcotics cold turkey (but I do not recommend it), however again, determination is key, and staying away from negative, whiny people who bring him down. That is where you come in Cami, for it is the reason I am always coming to your articles. . .
you are positive and uplifting. Who does NOT want to be around and need that type of support? YOU are one of the best remedies for him now.
The good thing is rehab will work if he wants it to.
The bad think is rehab won't work if don't want it to.
God bless and help you and your family.
I am so glad that you had an intervention of sorts and that he seems receptive!
I don't know any treatment centers in Nor Cal, but I went through a great program in Pasadena. I was in for alcohol, but my roommate there was in for prescription drugs. There is also another that I know of down there, that I have heard really good things about. Sorry, I don't know of any that would be more convenient.
Getting him into a program and a doctor's care, 24/7, has to be paramount right now. There are some really scary withdrawals things that he is going to start having and he will probably need to be on anti-seizure meds for a bit.
Kudos for you and your family for banding together to get him some help! and Congrats to him for being honest and listening.
It's always a huge relief when suddenly everyone has permission to talk about the "elephant in the middle of the room" but I predict that once he has done the initial detox he will find some reason to depart any treatment program that makes any attempt to hold him accountable or require anything from him that he finds uncomfortable.
The problem of addiction is much more complex than simply having taken pain pills for a while and deciding to put them down because you're afraid of them (that's common sense, not addiction) or because a loving family asks one to do so.
This is just the beginning.
You and your family are very much in my prayers. I've been down this road, as an ennabler, as a food addict and as the wife of an emotionally abusive alcoholic/stimulant abuser. I have multiple relatives (most in my generation) with alcohol/drug problems and have lost one first cousin already. She was 26 when she died of an overdose.
For me, this journey was very much like watching someone trying to kill themselves on a daily basis and being completely helpless to stop it. Sometimes too much kindness can kill, when the addict is not held accountable and everyone steps in to "do it for him because he's sick". That's not kindness, it's pity and robs the addict of what little dignity he/she has left, which usually isn't much.
God bless you all. I truly don't mean to sound harsh...just realistic. Please don't give in to despair during the rollercoaster ride...like any other life experience, there are high points and low points and transit time between the two can be lightning fast. Buckle your seatbelts...it will all be worth it in the end.
For the oxi and vicodin.. in patient treatment is his best bet. Out patient leaves him to his own devices, and well that's just not good.
If he resists, it will do no good. He's going to blow sunshine up your skirt and tell all of you how good he's doing and can he come home now? Nope
Or, my daughter did this, run the 'this is stupid' 'I hate it here' 'You can't make me...' ruse.. Tell him you love him, he's where he needs to be.
I hope your brother fairs better than mine did. One is dead, he was 54.. drank himself to death. The other is 44, and stead fastly maintains there's nothing wrong with him. The world is against him. It's a conspiracy, the list goes on.
For the protection of my children, he has been told he can't visit unless he's clean and sober. He doesn't visit. I give him, NO, money. If he needs food, I give him food.. nothing he can pawn, take back or turn into cash.
There is hope, our daughter is fine. We had our doubts, but it turned out fine. Best of Luck
I really liked Linda B's response above.
I just wrote my own article on this very topic. "The train wreck which is addiction" parts one and two....to be continued.
The problem is getting the addict to admit to himself that he has a problem. He also becomes as adept at deception as well as self-deception.
Sometimes extraordinary measures need to be taken (tough love). Force the issue of rehab by intervention.
Many good comments and responses above. Bravo!
Thanks for bringing this widespread epidemic to light.
Christopher Cole
author of
The Closer's Song
Rose Glitter Graphics
I'm looking for a follow-up; how is the search for a rehab for your brother going? I just happened upon this and it is a sad story, but with a potentially good outcome.
The best advice I saw here was the idea of getting referrals and recommendations from people already in recovery in the community. Those are the people who know the real deal about different treatment facilities.
One really sad part of this is that at least part of this problem stems from your brother not getting the right kind of treatment for his chronic pain.
Wish you the best.