Each of Us is Like a Diamond, and Each of Us Has the Potential to be Brilliant

Have you ever wondered why some people seemingly get all the breaks, have all the good looks, and all the great opportunities, and achieve all the success they desire? They live their lives in such a way that people beat a path to their doorstep. I used to wonder about that a lot. Why them and not me?

Actually, I wondered about that for the first thirty-two years of my life as I struggled with disillusionment, defeat, desolation, and despair. I felt my life was a mistake. It seemed as if I were living in a wilderness, alone and disconnected from the mainstream of society. I tried to fit in and get people to like me, but I didn't even like myself. I had no self-esteem, self-confidence, or self-worth. I often wondered if I would be better off dead.

You see, I was living in a world where young black men were portrayed as addicts, criminals, dropouts, and deadbeat dads. Was this what I was to aspire to? The odds were against black males succeeding in America. I believed that my color was my curse. As a boy, another kid once told me that I was "black as tar and ugly as dirt." Those words penetrated my heart. Whoever said that words can never hurt you was flat-out clueless!

I believed that if my skin were white, my hair blond, and my eyes blue, I would be accepted. I resented my parents and wished I had been born into a white family. Everything that was portrayed in the media, everything I saw in my neighborhood and at my school, implied that white was right and black was wrong. I was living in the ghetto-not just a physical ghetto, but a mental ghetto. I believed it was impossible for me to succeed at anything. I was a young man struggling to and my place in the world and to make sense of it all. There were many nights I lay awake and stared at the ceiling, wondering, "How will my life turn out? What will I become?"

My life was transformed when I met life coach Dr. Mark Chironna. He said to me, "You've been stuck in your body and in your mind, acting like you've been cursed because of the color of your skin. You weren't born to fit in. You were born to be brilliant." He saw through my pain and convinced me it was time to let my light shine. I knew in my soul that I was born for more, but I didn't know how to break free of the beliefs that held me down.

Dr. Chironna invited me to embrace the reality and the timeless truth that black-like all colors-really is beautiful. He knows this is true because, although Mark is a white man, he and his wife have adopted two African-American boys. He encouraged me to and, define, and shape my core talents and skills. That day- which I'll never forget-I cried like a baby, pouring out my pain until I couldn't cry anymore.

I accepted his invitation and started an aggressive plan to reframe my world. I read books, kept a journal, actively participated in life-coaching sessions, and did the deep work of dealing with my pain. I realized that nothing was going to change in my life until I changed. I had to transform my thinking, my beliefs, and my actions and take responsibility for the core areas of my life. I cried, I laughed, I examined my life, and I worked- hard-for seven years straight.

The transformation has been nothing short of miraculous, even if I do say so myself. I brought order to my chaotic internal world and took control of my stinking thinking. I learned to forgive myself and not to wallow in the mud. I became filled with belief, confidence, and hope for the future. Today, I live my life by design instead of by accident. I live with brilliant expectancy- I expect to have incredible experiences every hour of every day. And I've been blessed to be able to connect with some of the most brilliant people on the planet. Truly, each day is a treasured gift.

During my seven-year transformation, I became curious about what Dr. Chironna had said-that I was born to be brilliant. I wanted to understand how I could be born brilliant and yet be so dull and tarnished by the age of thirty- two. One day, I found a clue in a book I was reading called Acres of Diamonds by Russell Conwell.

His simple message transformed my thinking, and I had an epiphany: Each of us is like a diamond, and each of us has the potential to be brilliant. I was intrigued, so I began to research diamonds. The more I discovered, the more I realized that a diamond is the perfect metaphor to understand how we can become all that we were meant to be.

A diamond begins as carbon in the molten magma deep inside the earth. It then undergoes an absolutely amazing Evolutionary Transformation, first to become "rough" stone, and ultimately, the exquisite gemstone we value so highly.

Learn more about this book throughout January in the Bright Ideas from Bestselling Authors group on Gather.