poem of regret

Comments: 19

Deeanna M. Dec 31, 2007, 12:33pm EST

thanks jesse

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Elaine B. Dec 31, 2007, 12:36pm EST

Very nice love poem!

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J. G. Weddle Dec 31, 2007, 12:54pm EST

Very well said, and nicely written.

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Marie L. Dec 31, 2007, 1:10pm EST

Very well written, I like it!

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Wade H. Dec 31, 2007, 9:03pm EST

Interesting sentiments. Well done.

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sheila h. Jan 3, 2008, 12:49am EST

touching and true..

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Deeanna M. Jan 3, 2008, 5:32pm EST

Thanks for all your comments. i'd love some feedback on the structure..

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Beverly T. Jan 4, 2008, 1:02am EST

You've communicated a good powerful message! I'm not a poetry person, but you could do a search on Gather for Ed Nudelman, who is great with poetry, and a kind person. He could help you out.

Cat Bits, Bountiful Breaks, and Boners

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Susan Budig Jan 4, 2008, 11:14am EST

Deeanna, are you looking for encouragement to keep writing, which I recommend! This shows promise. If you're looking for suggestions, maybe try adding a very specific image to illustrate your main theme. Give the reader something concrete to visualize.

Also, this is nit-picky, but the punctuation in the first stanza confused me. You might add a second dash or space between love and the.

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Deeanna M. Jan 4, 2008, 12:01pm EST

ok, thanks susan!

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Deeanna M. Jan 4, 2008, 12:19pm EST

there we go.. i added a picture (drew it in paint so it's not perfect, but it works) and a space :)

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Susan Budig Jan 4, 2008, 2:52pm EST

It's surprising what a little space can do. ;-) Your change opened up the stanza so that I didn't get hung up on that spot and was able to move on to the entire poem without interuption of thought.

Sometimes it's the little things, no?

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