Illness brings us closer...

Karen, I think that's true in many cases. Also have you noticed that often you don't see some of your relatives until a funeral? We've often discussed this in our family that it's ashamed that a funeral has to be the reason we all come together.

I'm so glad it brought all of you closer. Though I was already estranged from my family, strange as they are to begin with, my father's Alzheimers drove our family apart even further. My mother promised him in his early stages she would take care of him until the end and would not commit him to a nursing home despite her being blind. She was true to her word as he remained home until 8 hours before he was rushed to the hospital where he passed. Due to my mother's disability, I was called upon to provide many services she could not do, such as transport them to doctor appointments and go shopping for them. I hadn't seen them in years prior to this and they didn't want me around until they needed something. Then, I had to put my life on hold in case I was needed, even giving them a contact number when I was away from my home phone for them to get in touch with me. There were always 'emergencies' arising, like they needed a quart of milk for dinner...at 7AM while I was still asleep...or she dropped a pill when she could have taken another from the bottle and wait until later for the lost one to be found. When my sister's husband retired from the Army, they returned to town to live and raise their sons there. I decided she could take over for me, since she had been out touring the world having a life of her own for many years while I was trapped doing family duties...a chance for me to venture out and have a life finally. She resented being imposed upon like that, but I left anyway...and she hated me for 'dumping everything into her lap.' Once my father died, my mother had promised everything to my sister upon her death; which includes quite a bit of money. They didn't even let me know he had died. I found out when a friend of mine sent his obituary from the newspaper through the mail in case I wanted it as a memento...almost two weeks after he passed. He's been gone a little over 3 years now...and I haven't spoken to my sister in 2 1/2 years...and then, only twice prior to that after his death...her choice. I spoke only several times to my mother in the two years after he was gone...and she lived less than a mile up the same street from where I resided. I haven't talked with her in over a year now...her choice, as well. When I moved away from my hometown, I didn't even bother to tell them where I was going, let alone that I was leaving. Your father is blessed to have such a loving family as yours who have come together to pull for his comfort and well being in his time of need. I wish you all the best in dealing with such a terrible disease and hopefully, all the love you're surrounded by now lives on long after he's gone and you stay one big, happy family.

It is good that this is happening for you and your family. It didn't work for me and my sister and it is her loss. I took care of both my parents at the end of their lives. I can't begin to tell you the pain she has caused me before and after they died. I have realised that maybe it is better this way for me, She thinks she is hurting me by not being in my life but she is sparing me more pain,

its true for peoplw who have a good heart and care about their family, you cant firce someone to care ho doesnt naturally have it in their heart

Even though you are dealing with a tough illness, what a blessing that you have family (brothers and sisters) to lean on. Now that you all have this trial in common, you can grow even closer!

I hope you know how very lucky you all are to have each other... so often ..as other peoples' - and mine - show... it does not work out quite that well

Im sos orry for the illness, but I am glad that it has brought your family in closer

Karen, since my mother-in-law's passing in April the family has been getting together even more

Glad it has brought you closer Karen, I know it can either do that or sometimes illness tears a family apart also.

I'm sorry to here the news. If life gives you a lemon try to make some lemonade. I lost both my parents to cancer. My Mom was loss within six months of finding out. In way I'm thkankful that things turned out the way they did because it could have been a lot worse. Take care and may God bless you and your family.

I know precisely what you are saying. That's the kind of relationship I have with my sister and her husband. We all love eachother dearly, but we are not "joined at the hip," so to speak. Certain things have brought us together. Nothing has really blown us apart, we've just stayed as we usually are, when nothing is really "happening." When something does happen, we come together in a way that can't be described unless you've been in the situation, which you have.

strange how these things happen

It is one of the very few gifts that you receive with illnesses. I am glad that you cherish it.

My mom and her sister were many years apart, birth wise, and seldom spoke until dealing with their dad's Alzheimer's. Now they have a standing phone call every Sunday and that is over ten years since we lost him. That is why I call it a gift.

I know how it can bring family together in a way that nothing else can. Each family member is feeling the same thing. They all react differently to illnesses but they can lean alot on each other. We found this to be true when my Father In Law was in the VA hopsital. He died there after being really ill for weeks.

It seems that illness can either bring a family closer or further apart. It is a blessing that yours had grown closer.