THE BEST LAID PLANS....
A funny thing did not happen on my way to being a first time published author. I had no idea going into this venture - adventure - that it would be as diffcult to achieve as I now realize it is and continues to be.
I initially thought I had all of the necessary variables to be a published author in my grasp. Among these are: a good story - my experience of working as a beginning psychotherapist in an innovative therapeutic community - Odyssey House - in the sixties treating heroin addicts. What I initially experienced as my discovery of my personal 'Garden of Eden ' for the first six months, turned into a kaleidoscopic , mind blowing life defining adventure during the next 11 months. As my perception changed I appointed myself the scribe of Odyssey House keeping a detailed account of my experiences and what they meant to me.
Two main questions guide the story line: 1 - What propels reasonably intelligent and sensitive poepl like me to work at cult like places like Odyssey House was in the sixties -
and 2 - once realizing the 'craziness' of some aspects of the program what compels people like me to overstay?
This material is as relevant today as it was in the sixties.
Further, I thought my initial treatment of it was reasonably readable, and interesting. Apparently many of the rejectors thought so as they have used the term 'compelling' to describe their reaction but their comments often end with the ambiguous phrase"but I am just not in love with it enough."
Then there is the issue of marketing.... will it sell?
Initially I thought I had aced this requirement. I have a marketing plan that includes 85 pages of 25 lines each of potential buyers of my memoir. These include groups of people such as professionals associated with addiction; agencies, conventions, ex addict groups, survivor groups and the likes.
In a curous way I think I overwhelmed some of the publishers with so much material and have culled some of it.
There are more issues, but what is important for me to convey is the fact that my dreams of quick glory have been sorely tested with the realistic limitations of unexpected facts of my reality. I am not so out of it that I did not expect reasonable delay but I was not prepared for the fact that - in my case - the delay has progressively moved from months of waiting to now two years plus.
The following is a summary of what I have learned since my last posting on this subject:
I have been struggling to make my memoir about working as a beginning psychotherapist in an innovative therapeutic community in the sixties (Odyssey House) "loveable enough" to be offered a publishing contract.
During the two or so years I have been submitting it - with an agent - I have received approximately 15 encouraging but ultimately rejecting rejections. So after getting over the sting of those infidels not recognizing great literature I have bitten the bullet and have been teaching myself how to write - for effectiveness.
This is what I have learned:
1 - eliminate every unnecessary word
2 - turn passive into active
3 - add emotion
4 - don't be afraid or in spite of being afraid - tell your absolute truth.
5 - Appearances count therefore work to have a compelling title, a compelling first line, a compelling first chapter, and a compelling story. [Compelling = "having a powerful and irresistible effect."]
6 - Have a group of people read your edits and revisions and listen to them carefully.
7 - Keep going over it even when your wife is ready to divorce you for isolating her and the kids with your magnificent obsession.
8 - If you believe in what you are writing keep at it even to the point of self publishing.
9 - Don't worry about the passage of time as the best laid plans often create unexpected road blocks. For example my agent came down with a rare illness which took her out of the picture for 2 months; publishers often take their sweet time in responding, or 3 months is not an unusual return time; a couple of publishers 'lost' my manuscript.
Finally I am of the belief that a true writer writes because he or she has to - If you don't write you are not a writer.
My conclusion is that rather than to throw in the towel - as my 12 year old son suggests I should do - I am committed to pressing on more than ever. Since I have no alternative but to keep writing - both to effectively revise this present work:
INSIDE REHAB:
My Odyssey of the Turbulent Beginnings of Treating Drug Addicts in the Sixties
A Memoir
along with my work as a psychoanalyst - I am a writer as well.
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Comments: 26
For a while you might be more excited than afraid. But as event after event piles up it becomes increasingly clear that your leader is hardly a saint.
Question: you have a responsbile job in his administration. You make good money and are living well. Further you are assigned to administer your own programwhich you have looked forward to for years.
Additionally you begin to experience your present in terms of the best and worst of your past traumatic history and are confused about whether or not the leader is good or evil.
Your confusion deepens to the point where the boundaries between fantasy and reality begin to blur.
When it becomes clear that you have a crisis of trust believing the leader to be more abusive than helpful you are afraid to stand up lest you be cut down or expelled.
So how do you feel? What options do you have? and how best to act?
I hope this deepens your understanding of what my memoir is about.
"...In place of a reality I had thought was black and white, I was now confronted by a reality that was complex, multi-leveled, multi-dimensional, and is perhaps best described as a messy profusion of colors on an artist's palette.
This book then may be simultaneously read on multiple dimensions. These dimensions include: The story of Odyssey House during a crucial phase in its early development (December 1967-through April 1969); a scientific dimension diagnosing the central problem of drug addiction as the lack of a solid identity, characterized by a lack of trust both of others and of oneself; a political dimension describing and exploring key conflicts that arose between various factions at Odyssey and their effects on the treatment process; a psychological dimension recounting the
personal Odyssey of the author's identity quest; and a spiritual dimension exploring the crucial importance of the presence or absence of faith, trust, hope, love and persistence.
In summary, I consider myself a subject of one who freely subjected himself to the Odyssey experiment, whose main effect was to stir me too my core. The critical events that led to this stirring up, and what resulted, is what this book is about."
But this all brings to mind the unfairness of the "system" where "appearance" around sell-ability is so awful important to those middle folks that want to get their "piece" of the action ($$$) out of the process (agents/publishers/sellers) and who have so much to choose from that they can be so selective in the process.
I suppose that because of the potential "benefits" (fame and $$$)(mostly $$$), people are "forced" to be competitive in seeking a higher degree of "perfection" in the final product. Such potential rewards then drive many to "polish" their presentation to "market demands" ... even giving up key critical "messages" of their story in many cases to "please" the industry.
The "industry" (Publishing) then always seems to get it's way and the author gets but the trickle down effects ... then as an example of the most successful, the market demands ever more, as book after book is churned out for the insatiable appetites of the reading audiences ... most of that seeming to be fictions that people demand to take their minds off of their mundane (in comparison) realities.
The "market" then is full of comparative "trash" by the standards of those of us that feel we have something REALLY important to say ... something that could actually change lives for the better rather, than just "entertain" people through escapism.
In my case, I had an experience that is so relatively rare as to be also relatively unknown in the general populace, yet so special and beneficial in every way, that if known of and experienced by more, it could change this world into a Utopia where people would no longer have the "need" for fictional escapement reading.
I desire(d) to make my story available to the widest audience at the very lowest cost to them, even free if required. I wanted to do it as SOON as possible because the world really needs my message NOW ... not later after years and years of submission attempts that so many first time writers are forced to go through, jumping through the hoops that the industry holds up for them ... too often weeded out anyway because they did not "fit" the requirements of the "popular" market.
To get my message out sooner, I sought out a publisher via the Internet and thought I had hit a Jackpot when I found BookSurge, a POD business that had just been purchased by Amazon.Com ... because of the "promises" offered by B.S. (BookSurge) with the reputable backing of Amazon, I "purchased" a high-end publishing package from them because I was taken in as designed, to have read into their offerings what I wanted to believe they were offering me as value for my money/time/effort ...
As it has turned out, I got little of what I expected, though by the "letter of the law" I got just what they "actually" offered ... not what they "seemed" to have offered.
My first greatest disappointment was the lack of editing I was to get from them which forced me to put out a very unpolished book ... later I found that they only "seemed" to have been offering a wide retail market into actual bookstores ... no such thing existed other than their "play on words" ... just as they intended all along.
So live and learn ... the "hard way" for some of us ...
But I had paid for a package and meant to get "at least" what I could out of it. So I rewrote portions that had not received the expected editorial help and published anyway with the hope that the people (readers) that would most benefit by my message would do so anyway via their INtuitive Spiritual abilities that could (and would) look past the non-perfected presentation for the actual PERFECTED MESSAGE that IS THERE, at least "IN Between the Lines" so to speak ...
Because the experience that I had (and write about) was/is a Spiritual one, I am still convinced that those deemed by Spirit to be in need of the message will find and GET IT one way or another with their own Spiritual help.
Thus, though I am very disappointed in the way the Industry works (and the world in general) with such "shallow thinking", I am relieved that for some rare few readers that are meant to receive the "message", they will get it via the ESSENCE that will shine through for them ... those that are in need of industry perfection and willing to waste their time on well polished ENTERTAINMENT reading, are probably just not yet ready for serious introspection anyway ...
So, though disappointed from the worldly perspective, I comfort myself with the spiritual realization that all is well in the greater picture that matters most to me ... I at least know and have, the "truth that sets one free" ... I offer it to all, but as the saying goes, "you can (sometimes) lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink of it".
Good luck in your endeavor Gibbs.
When you put on your "reader" hat, what do you think is there to grab a reader? Go with that. Maybe you already have. In that case, you just have to find the right editor, publisher, etc.