Book Review: For the Love of Rachel by David Loewenstein, PhD

I try to squeeze in my reading whenever I can: when I let the dog out in the yard (he's a big baby and won't stay out there alone yet...) or when I pick my youngest daughter up from school, any time I have an appointment... but during the holidays it gets more hectic and I found that I was barely able to finish reading a book that ordinarily would  have been one I'd finish in a day.

Part of what took me longer than usual was that I found myself re-reading certain portions, as they are true jewels. For example, in the portion discussing his courtship of his wife:

"I had spent years in graduate school learning that human beings often go through an infatuation phase in the early stages of a budding relationship during which they project their hopes and illusions onto another person. Many of these projections involve previous or unresolved relationships with other people in their lives, including their parents. Of course, the danger of such illusions is that, as time goes by, each person begins to experience the other as they really are rather than as they had imagined. All of us are merely flesh and blood and cannot possibly live up to or meet others' idealized standards, needs or expectations. Part of the continued growth and maturity of a relationship is learning to love and to accept another person for who they are rather than blaming them for not having attributes that had only been our own projections. As long as people relate to an idealized or projected image rather than an actual human being, it is impossible to both accept and appreciate another's unique individuality."

Wow. Now that's insight!

David Loewenstein and his family serve as fantastic examples of perseverence and faith, courage and commitment. They have had to work so much harder to accomplish what many of us take for granted... yet there is no bitterness about their added "burden" because that is not how they choose to see these trials. Not only that, but they work to make sure other people learn to be more kind and less judgmental or prejudiced. David points out:

"To fully accept a person in spite of physical or mental limitations is to truly embrace our humanity. I have come to believe that trying to mainstream special needs children in both public and private schools benefits not only the children, but greatly benefits their classmates as well. Children are by nature some of the most accepting creatures in the universe until they are taught to fear those who are different from them or, even worse, learn to hate. By discovering that a special needs child is part of their world and deserving of friendship and respect, other children learn a most valuable lesson, one that certainly cannot be learned from textbooks alone."

It is this indomitable treasure trove of compassionate, deep and real love that makes their family so special and strong. I'm sure, although the book does not discuss such matters, that David and Susan's parents are as incredible as the children they nurtured. I highly recommend this book as both inspirational and thought-provoking. I'd like to close with one more of the many gems to be culled from the pages of this father's beautiful story.

"The culture in which we live is all too obsessed with superficial appearance, style over substance, and slogans rather than well-thought-out solutions. Often, there is such an emphasis placed upon winning and competition that we forget that the uniquely human attribute of advanced language and reasoning skills can also be employed to foster cooperation among people and work that insures the common good."

Copies of David's book, "For the Love of Rachel" may be purchased by clicking here.