I was sitting here looking at James playing just thinking about me growing up as a child and my Christmas' Coming from a family of not much but alcohol and fighting we didn't have much. In fact to be honest I only remember one Christmas with my father. He use to do a lot of parting and jumping woman to woman.
This perticular Christmas I remember all I wanted was a sewing machine. I beleive I was in the 2nd grade because I remember we lived in Pontiac, IL at the time. Still rembering to a T house that house was designed. What was the living room my parents made into their room. Off of that was my sister and my room. Also off of their room was what was suppose to be a dining room that was made into a living room. Off of the living room was a room that the ceiling was falling in and used for my brothers room. Keep walking through the living room to the kitchen where the bathroom was off one side as well as the backporch that we used for the main door.
I remember dad not being there when we went to sleep Christmas Eve night which didn't surprise me any. In fact I knew the gifts that we did get was from my mother. Well, we woke up Christmas and I was so surprised and happy. My daddy was there! I just hoped it wouldn't end in one of us being hit by my father, or my mother cussing. Even more my dad passed out gifts the only gifts I ever remember my daddy handing me to this day. I was so happy I was like a real family for once. He handed me a gift and said sissy this is for you. It was the last gift under the tree. Unwrapping it quickly I noticed it was a sewing machine! I was so happy.
Later that evening we was playing and I was looking over this wonderful used sewing machine that was brand new to me. I didn't care how old it was or that it was used; when I heard a knock at the door. OH NO not the police again! But there was no fighting tonight why are they here? I thought oh great another drug search I knew the routine get on the couch and sit there with the drugs underneath us till they leave. Immediately I ran to the couch. To my surprise they came in and started gathering the toys that my father brought my brother and sister. They walked to the table "NO not my sewing machine!" Tears ran down my face all of our Christmas was gone! Dad had stolen our Christmas! All but what we had gotten from mom which to be honest with you I can't remember what it was this perticular year. But she had always made us a outfit and we got at least one small toy.
Now that I am grown up I keep remembering back what was more important to me that year? Would I of been happy not to get that sewing machine? Honestly I can say I would of. I still cherish that moment having my dad there with no fighting or yelling from my parents. I would of played with a card board box with my parents and been happy. Growing up in a home of abuse children don't experience that moment at all or slim to none. My perfect day ended in a moment with the cops again. As a grown adult I remember not having my parents hold me, say I love you, or just not fight. I still long to hear those 3 words from my parents even after those years of abuse. Please all of you when you wake up Christmas morning gather your children before you open those gifts tell them you love them. Kiss them before bed and tell them you love them. The true meaning don't sit under that tree the true meaning is from the heart. I cherish this year more then anything. I may not have my biological family but I have some of the greatest friends in the world and even more a husband who loves me and a little boy that calls me mommy. My two children won't be with me this Christmas because its their dads year for one but I can tell you they will get a call like every year with me saying "I love you and Merry Christmas". If you are one of those families of abuse just give these children just one day with no fighting. Make this Christmas something special for the babies.