by Dena A.
Member since:
September 27, 2007

He thought he could just take him from school

December 20, 2007 04:25 PM EST
views: 97 | rating: 9.7/10 (34 votes) | comments: 40

My ex boyfriend... AKA youngest son's sperm donor .. AKA psycho stalker... AKA dead beat dad .. thought he could come to my sons preschool today and trick them into giving my son to him.

It's insane and so out of the blue. My youngest child, Jamell is 4 1/2 years old and attends preschool. He does not know his father. He has only seen him a handful of times.  His 'sperm donor' as we all call him .. does not pay child support and has never lifted one finger to do anything for him. So it is crazy that he just showed up at my son's school.

I don't know how he knew what school he went to .. or what time he was there or anything like that. He went into the office and told the lady at the office he was coming to pick up Jamell. When the office asked who he was he told them he was his dad. So they called down to my son's classroom. My son's teacher remembered hearing my son say on many occassions "I don't have a dad" to her and the other children. So she became alarmed and she called me at work. I am so glad she did. The sperm donor is not on my son's birth certificate and he has no legal rights to my son. So I told the school to call the police.

I did not know what he was going to do when they told him no .. so I said call the police. Then we hung up she called the police and so did I. Police came .. made him leave. Said if he comes again he will be arrested for attempted kidnapping. the office staff, security, and the teachers were all told to call 911 the next time he was seen on school property.

My kids walk home from school so this left an unsettling feeling in me. I had to find someone to come get them from school and make sure they got home. I knew my teenage daughter could not fend off my ex should he try to take my son from her. Thank god for my parents! They went and got the kids home safe.

I just wonder what the heck the ex thought he was going to do with my son once the school handed him over? Where was he going to take him? How long was he going to try to take him for? WHY was he trying to take him from school?

So frustrating .. now I have to go to the court tomorrow and see about getting a restraining order for my son barring the sperm donor from trying this again .. at the school or anywhere else. I so hope they can do it before the holiday ...

What is wrong with people now adays?

 

PS .. something you might want to note .. I don't have contact with the sperm donor because he is very abusive .. physically and mentally .. and he stalked me for a very very long time.

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Comments: 40

Dena A. Dec 20, 2007, 4:25pm EST
I am still a bucket of nerves!!!
Danielle P. Dec 20, 2007, 4:37pm EST
You have had a trying week.
Try to relax. Take a few minutes for you if you can.
You have to take care of you to be strong for the kids.
Dena A. Dec 20, 2007, 4:39pm EST
Yeah I know right ..

I was wondering what is going to happen next!
Dena A. Dec 20, 2007, 4:41pm EST
Lucky for me .. I have a HUGE pitt bull who loves my kids and adores them and would let no one in the house EVER without me being there .. so I feel like my kids are safe with my teen babysitting the two hours til I get home from work. Plus the neighbors are aware of whats going on and are keeping their eye out for them too.

Still don't know what would posses the guy to show up and think the school is dumb enough to hand the kid over to him!!!
Richard Frisbie Dec 20, 2007, 4:48pm EST
That is scary. I wonder, though. If you get a restraining order can you then ask him for support? This could be a huge mess - good luck with it.
RK C. Dec 20, 2007, 4:49pm EST
Hi Dena,
A tip. One get a picture of him, even an old one and make sure everyone in the school, your neighborhood, even the local 7-11 knows what he looks like. Don't be bashful tell them he's a stalker, perv, weirdo, whatever. The more people that know his face and call the police will deter him. Even if he complains and says you're slandering him, what's going to happen to you? Nothing.
j - Frugal Mom - r. Dec 20, 2007, 4:50pm EST
It sure sounds very upsetting Dena, I am so sorry to hear that this happened.
John C. Dec 20, 2007, 4:51pm EST
That is terrible Dena. I know that when I got to the school I have to sign in at the office,show ID,and have to on the list to pick up my son. Also he has to have a note sent with him in the morning stating the fact that he is going to be picked up from school. I hope that everything will work out for you, good luck and take care.
Sophie S. Dec 20, 2007, 4:54pm EST
If he stalked you before he probably did again to find out what your sons schedule was. Hope you get this settled. It wouldnt hurt to go in and talk to the station till you get an order of protection, they will keep a close eye on the house (I've done this before).
Marianne R. Dec 20, 2007, 5:02pm EST
That's a scary situation. I'm glad everything turned out ok though.

Here, the school has a list of who is legally allowed to remove a specific child from school. If your name isn't on that list, then you cannot remove the child from school. You also have to present photo ID when you pick up the child.
I would be very scared about this. I hope you have alerted everyone at the schools that the only people that are allowed to pick up your children are the ones on a list ou have given tothem!
Deeanna M. Dec 20, 2007, 5:04pm EST
wow! that would piss me off! glad the school called you! i agree with circulating a picture of him!
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Dec 20, 2007, 5:06pm EST
Oh my lord! I would of been a nervous wreck. How on earth did you handle yourself? It really does sound like your son has a great teacher. I hope you can let her know she is extra special for paying attention. That was always one of my biggest fears with my oldest boy (he is from my ex husband). So, I always made sure the school was well informed about if the sperm donor shows up, call the cops. I even had to go as far as getting the restraining order aginst him after my 7 yr old daughter was born. I moved out of state and haven't any contact with him. Nor have I told his parents I moved out of state for the mere fact I don't want my ex to know. My son is now 16 but the fear is always there. He remembers the night I was forced to take my ex back to court. He was only nine years old when he made threats on stealing my son after having no contact or child support for 5 years. My ex was also abusive. I am so glad nothing bad happened. God luck to you and your family. A big hug as well.
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Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Dec 20, 2007, 5:08pm EST
Oh what I was going to suggest was contacting the prosecuting attorneys office. They can write up an immediate restraintion order. Otherwise it maybe a long wait to court. Considering the holidays and how long the current court system takes.
flit . Dec 20, 2007, 5:16pm EST
my goodness, you are having one heck of a week! I'm sorry.

When my kids were young, my ex threatened to take my oldest .... to avoid any possible confusion, I made it clear that I would never EVER send a male to pick them up - it meant my brother couldn't do it.. but that was a small price to pay
wiaka's just ... curious Dec 20, 2007, 5:29pm EST
Dena the police can give you a temporary restraining order until court. The picture idea is a great idea. I have had the kids and I stalked before nad it is un-nerving; people that do this are not right in the mind. he must have been following you to know where your son was attending school. Be careful.

Prayers for you and the children.

Blessings
ann c. Dec 20, 2007, 5:33pm EST
Dena, I am so sorry this happened to you. May God bless and keep you and your children from harm.
Carla B. Dec 20, 2007, 5:42pm EST
Dena, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Be careful! Get that restraining order on him, and make sure you talk to your little guy and let him know that he isn't supposed to go with ANYONE except you, your older kids and parents. You don't want to scare him, but at the the same time, you want him to know that his dad is not allowed to take him anywhere.
Bonnie S. Dec 20, 2007, 5:48pm EST
You have been through so much, I hope things get better for you soon.
Dee - Nature Babe! Dec 20, 2007, 5:49pm EST
Dena, so sorry this is happening. He should not be thinking that he can walk away with your child. I'm so glad that they called you and the police. Hoping he does not try this again, or does not try to do this before or after school. Wished I lived closer to help you!
Lina :-p Dec 20, 2007, 5:52pm EST
Awe, sorry about this! Custody issues are hard, it's good that the preschool protected your baby!
Spencer T. Dec 20, 2007, 8:26pm EST
What else ca he be called "but a sperm donor? ' If he contributes nothing to the welfare of his child nor has any contact with him I have some choice words to call him but this "IS" a family program. Hang in there, Dena.
Janet H. Dec 20, 2007, 8:37pm EST
I was wondering myself why Rodney would try to take Jamell from school and what he wanted to take him for. That's rather scary. I'm glad Jamell's teacher was on the ball and called you. She told Dad that she had arranged for someone to escort Jamell and the other kids safely home if we hadn't come for them. Dad said the teacher was very nice. At least Jamell will be off school for vacation for awhile now to give you time to get a restraining order, although who knows how much good that will do. It makes me nervous to think of Jamell having to walk home from school, even with the older kids. And I hadn't realized that they had to cross such a busy road on the way home! That's scary too! I just pray that they all stay safe.
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Dec 20, 2007, 8:45pm EST
He just figured out another way to stalk you.

You know your resources and are using them wisely. You also have a very smart little boy who knew he didn't have a dad.

Sending you power and blessings.

And a treat for the dog LOL!
Leslie "Missy" T. Dec 20, 2007, 9:18pm EST
I'm glad his teacher called you.
Heather W. Dec 20, 2007, 9:26pm EST
That's really scary. I'm glad the school was on top of it and didn't let him take him.
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Dec 21, 2007, 8:05am EST
Ruppert - come back when you lose the attitude. That remark was uncalled for and you should be ashamed of yourself.
William M. Dec 21, 2007, 2:30pm EST
You are handling the situation the right way. There might be a possibility he just wanted to see his son, but you can't take a chance.
♥ Adair ♥ K. Dec 21, 2007, 3:19pm EST
My daughters school have me fill out a form every year of who can pick up my child. Only them people can get either of them. My husband has gone to the school to pick up my youngest and they have asked him for ID.
Dena A. Dec 21, 2007, 4:05pm EST
Yeah the school is good. My son's teacher knew of the situation at the begining of the year. I am divorced because of domestic violence .. so the ex hubby has no legal rights to the kids ..

Then my four year old son has my ex hubby on his birth certificate (compliments of the state not me) so his bio logical father can not pick him up... ever no matter what.

Plus he is convicted of domestic violence and stalking. He is not involved in my son's life at all but I never would have thought he would show up at his school and try to take him. I was very specific on the papers for the school in letting them know if the person was not on the list they could NOT pick up my kids or even see them.

My son's teacher is awesome .. she adores my son and knows him and I very well. She knows I am a good mother and do all I can for my kids so she helps when they are at school but really looking out for them.

The school told the ex not to come back or they would call the police .. police told the ex if he comes back he will be arrested. He is not on the birth certificate so he can't do anything to change it!



As far as Ruppert goes .. well he is an ignorant fool who obviously was taught no manners from his parents. So I deleted his comment and any more comments like that from him again I will get him blocked. I guess some people will never be happy unless they are being mean and cruel to others ..
....but honestly I would love to run into his scrawny butt in a dark alley because I know I would tear him apart! Some men think its ok to be cruel and demeaning to women .. maybe his mother didn't teach him otherwise .. or maybe he is just and evil bastard .. either way he can kiss my ass!

To everyone else .. the court took my paperwork but will not have anything back til thursday or friday ..

But the police will arrest him if he makes contact with my son again because he is not on the birth certificate.
J R B. Dec 21, 2007, 8:41pm EST
Thanks to you calling the police. This is what you must do every time. Then the police have a record of him. Hope he never gets his hands on your boy.
j - Frugal Mom - r. Dec 22, 2007, 10:35am EST
Dena, I sure hope you won't get any more problems.

How can you collect child support from this guy, if he is not on the birth certificate? I am not very familiar with the system, but it made me wonder. I know you have not received any child support from him (I read your other article), but how can you file for him to pay support?
Dena A. Dec 22, 2007, 11:21am EST
He is not on the birth certificate because I refused to name a father at the time of birth .. since he was abusive and denying my son was his ... Michigan went back later and added my ex hubby.

We did have a DNA test at the ex's demanding and the states. So he has been found to be the father thru DNA (umm which I didn't need the test I knew he was) so they set up child support. BUT that doesn't establish him as the legal father .. only biological.

The state went and did the support order without me involved.

To be the legal father .. and to have visitation he would have to fight me in court for it. He has no ground to stand on so he hasn't tried. I do not doubt he will some day try though .. just to find a way to be around me and my kids .. he doesn't want nothing to do with my son .. honestly he doesn't .. he just wants to nose into my life and he is trying to use my son as his pawn.
Rachel D. Dec 23, 2007, 12:46pm EST
Definitely get that restraining order pronto! I'd also see about getting one of those kids phones that can only call 4 pre-programmed numbers, one of which is the police. I've heard that kajeet (http://www.kajeet.com/4u/index.html) is a great cell phone for kids program, but my children are too small to carry cell phones yet, so I have no direct experience. Good luck!
denise e Dec 25, 2007, 1:50pm EST
so glad the school was on top of this
Rita j. Dec 27, 2007, 3:41pm EST
I no this is an old post but I pray you have report this to the police
Poppy P. Feb 12, 2008, 5:15pm EST
That is scary! I hope your child's school keeps "authorized persons" lists like ours do. Even my father wouldn't be able to pick up his grandson unless he was on the authorized persons list. And they require I.D.
Michelle C. Jan 29, 2009, 1:27pm EST
Sounds like the father of our children, Problem is... his name is on the birth cert. I'm so worried (it was a paternity affadavit). Thing is ... he always yelled at me saying "I'm not your fuckin sperm donor"-- but yet, he always acted like it, would always sleep, never helped with the girls, and would always use the statement "Who puts the bread and butter on the table?"
Michelle C. Jan 29, 2009, 1:28pm EST
Problem is.... the father of my children right now is telling lies to DCS on ONE kid of ours that is in DCS care because he don't want me to get her back. He is saying all kinds of crap and he told me that he 'mise well' sign his rights up, so he don't have to pay child support. I just am waiting and hope he does.... I'm waiting for that freakin day so I can start singing, that he has no rights to the kids, and I won't have to worry in the future that he will fight for custody, etc.
Michelle C. Jan 29, 2009, 1:29pm EST
Oh and btw...this father of my two girls, he knows WHAT school I have chosen for the kids, so it is scary, so once, if I do get the oldest back, I'm filing a PERMANANT protective order with the girls' names on them

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