winning during the holidays

right about now, you're probably feeling a little bit stressed - frazzled about shopping and cleaning and preparing for guests (or packing to go somewhere) or figuring out food for the multitude. and taking a gather break, to get away from it all...

STOP. breathe. relax. the holidays aren't about that - although it sure seems like it, doesn't it?

how can you turn the holidays from a stress-fest into something more meaningful and enjoyable?

in our extended family, we've been working on this in earnest over the last few years. we've started a gift drawing, so we don't have to buy *quite* so many presents. and we've moved toward creating memories through family time, and not so much through gifts. we usually have 12-18 people at my parents' house for christmas (good thing it is a huge house), and people wandering in and out of activities, conversations, music...

here are some of our new and old traditions:

food, food, food
my mom's venetian cookies. my dad's coconut fingers. the sausage balls that make us hungry on christmas morning. my mom's homemade cinnamon rolls. and don't forget, the big meal, much of it from their garden!

homemade things
every year, i like to focus on making things for loved ones. one year, it was bags i made with gorgeous scraps of silk kimono fabric. last year, it was framed photos that i took. this year, i made 15 pints of orange-grapefruit-ginger marmalade (i know!). i am also teaching lillie the importance of this - she makes a gift for every family coming - this year, it is christmas ornaments with her photo on it (surrounded by pearls, of course). not everyone has the time (or luggage space) to do this, but for those of us that can, it is a labor of love, and well-received.

exercise
most people in our family take many walks, during the holidays. although i haven't been able to participate for many years due to my disabilities, it is still magical to see them head out into the cold, moonlit night, flashlights in hand, laughter ringing back up the driveway.

we've also been reserving space at the local high school's pool - one hour doesn't cost much, and we reserve 2 days of it! oh, it is so glorious to swim and talk and laugh together, while WARM and in the water! some swim laps, others do silly stuff like crazy jumps off the diving boards, kickboard challenges, and dolphin races.

my dad plows a track around the field out back and there are plenty of cross-country skis for everyone. afterwards, it is a glorious sight - all the hats, mittens, socks, and snowpants drying by the woodstoves.

music
my uncle always prepares songs - guitar or piano selections - and we sing along. it is wonderful! now that i am taking my bagpipe lessons, i hope to be able to contribute another instrument to this, in a few years. there's nothing like singing together to bring great joy.

puzzles and games
oh, there is always, always, a table with a difficult jigsaw puzzle on it, for everyone's enjoyment. one of my aunts parks herself there and works on it full-time. others wander by, contributing a piece or two, and some good conversation. the hardest puzzle was the rosetta stone one - 3 ancient languages, crooked edges. whew!

games to be played by all! whether is it more modern (lego star wars on the playstation 2), active (star wars light saber game), or traditional (apples to apples, monopoly, the mork and mindy game!), there is so much fun to be had in playing and laughing together. i will never forget my brother-in-law NOT grabbing the egg laying in my lap in the mork and mindy game, and ed laughing so hard that everyone in the WHOLE house laughed with.

catching up
whether is it catching up on things that can't be described well in email, or just chatting about books, politics, travel, or life - our family is just bursting with great conversationalists. when you dig deep enough, you find out amazing things about someone you've known your whole life. open that door! it is heartwarming to see a 5 year old, a teenager, and a 90-year old all talking together,sharing and laughing.

silliness
our new tradition this year is a white elephant gift drawing. knowing my family (all quirky educated global travelers), this will be a hoot. it was difficult for me to find 3 white elephant gifts lying around our house (or for ess than $1). luckily, my stash of weird stuff came through. however, *nothing* beats the white elephant gift that my mom got a few years ago - a huge shoebox, filled with cut-off 1980s shoulder pads. WOW. yep. (shh!! don't tell - i found a rock in our lake that looks JUST like an ear. i am going to inscribe vincent van gogh's signature on it, and pass it off as a mummified (calcified?) relic.)

we are also good at telling jokes, laughing about everything or nothing, and generally enjoying each others' company. i always look forward to spending time together - you never know what to expect, except that we'll all enjoy ourselves.


so that, to me, is winning at the holidays - not buying gifts that no one needs and we'll be paying off for months. it is all about enjoying the people you are with, and laughing and eating and loving each other - THAT is what memories are made of.

what things do you and your family do, through the holidays? please, share!

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