Never Buy a House for a Christmas Present

Or if you do, buy it in July, and give it on Christmas.

Everybody is busy this time of year. Things seemed like they were on the right track. And then everything went retrograde in squares, as they say.

A week or so after Thanksgiving, the dishwasher refused to start. After a couple of hours, it went back to work like nothing was wrong. Several weeks went by and then it happened again. I called the Maytag repairman. Remember the commercials with the lonely repair guy? It took him a week to fit me into his schedule. Maybe he's taking tango lessons. He shows up, and the thing turns right on for him. I tell him that "maybe works" is not going to keep me happy. I am hosting Christmas this year, and "maybe works" is not an option. Since my appliance is under warranty, it costs $150 and a week for the part to come in.

The first week in December, we find the perfect Christmas gift for ouselves, a mahogany china cabinet. We discuss it and decide to buy it. Saturday morning bright and early, I put a load of laundry in and go down to the antique shop. I have waited 23 years for this, and I am thrilled. Arriving home, I discover that the washing machine, unwilling to be upstaged by the diswasher, has died while I was out. Now I have two major appliances on the fritz, and I've spent all my money on a china cabinet! Yay! great planning, Ann. You go girl!

The week goes by, and I have to wash all the dishes by hand (not so bad) and my laundry is piling up (way, way bad). I am still teaching, but my heart is not in it. So I have no idea what possessed me to try to close a real estate deal in December. I think there must have been an evil fairy lurking in the china cabinet who took over my brain. Mom sold her house and we found one here for her. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Straightforward is not a word that accurately describes either my MIL or her business dealings. Naturally, there is no exception made for years when I host Christmas. We are now on our 3rd version of the contract. My husband and I have become the principals, and suddenly I have to think about termite treatments, appraisals, surveys, and mortgage applications.

Did I mention that the Irish-American Princess had the temerity to graduate from college on December 14, in the big middle of it all, two days after the washer is fixed, one day after the china cabinet arrives, and 11 days before Christmas dinner?

I had my last student yesterday. My youngest child has the flu. Christmas Shopping is over. I may have bought five presents. Sorry guys. The real estate people have tied up every penny and then some.

I am having 27 people for Christmas dinner. I can't think, much less cook. I'm trying to decide if they will squawk if I order pizza.

I am amazed and grateful that so many good things are happening around me. But I am also ready for the Mother Ship to take me home. . .