in my head, lights keep dancing;
closing my eyes I see ceaselessly,
images I had deliberately made myself forget.
with determination I yet again brush aside that unfinished chapter,
which should never have been written.
only for a while, real co-exists with virtual.
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Comments: 22
it's a great little poem :)
you got a lot in there, Gautami.
Full marks.
Cheerz!
The comma at the end of "chapter" makes more sense but try it without it and see how and see if it scans better.
Sounds like the core of something that could be expanded upon. Good Luck!
Thank you dear one and forgive me for not being very active lately.
love and light accross the sea
criss cross from what is real
cause for some reason
virtual still has appeal.
Good stuff.
[Note: With the understanding, of course, that everything other than "I Am" is virtual (and not even That from a Parabrahman Perspective)].
Mike, Thanks for your critique. I suppose I can play around the comma. I like your suggestion. May be I should leave the puntuation altogether!
JUst my thought..
Gautami, there are lots of folk who enjoy reading poetry...yours included. Don't lose heart, my friend.
I just wanted to say I am finally going through my currently over 6,000 pieces of gather new mail that is in my inbox on here. So with that in mind I have finally come to a piece of mail that was addressed to me in regards this article submission you have created to share with the gather community. Thank you for taking the time and sharing your piece with us here at gather. :o)