PLAYING AROUND WITH "PLAY ON WORDS" CONCEPT

I hope I am not embarking on a farce in this, my first attempt at creating an article for Ernie's intriguing group "Play On Words." I am actually alarmed at how intimidating it is to even try! I am certainly far from being brave enough to try his "Poetry Play On Words" group. This one seems to me to be far and away challenging enough! So, sound the shofar, here I go:

I was raised in and amongst the farms and farmers nestled in the rolling farmlands of the central Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. However, insofar as me being a farmer, well, the real farmers of my home area wouldn't have given even a farthing for my farming skills and abilities. I was actually born far from that charming farming community, in the smarmy inner city of Cincinnati. I shall forever offer praise to my Creator for moving us from that area that swarmed with harm and danger. I was still a little boy when we moved, but my twelve year old brother was never far from the long arm of the law. He and his gang were constantly flirting with danger, and they were quickly gathering an armada of weapons and materials to arm themselves for future conflicts.

He hated the little farmstead we moved to. We had three and a half acres, hardly a farm by any standards, but farm we did, with a calf, a pig and a chicken coop. The charm of farm life was lost on him at the time, but I grew up to embrace it and to love being up to my armpits in orchard grass and dirt. Slowly my mom began to take to the country way of life, and when she learned to make orange marmalade from scratch we knew we were home to stay.

Well, I am not really sure if this meets the criteria of the group. I armed myself with some ideas from reading the posts of others while relaxing in my armchair. I will not be alarmed by your critiques and kind suggestions of ways to do it better. Thank you.

smarmy = smugness, ingratiating attitude, or false earnestness

shofar = a horn used as a musical instrument for Jewish religious service

armada = a Spanish word meaning "armed" (in the feminine form)