Priya had come home to her apartment that afternoon at about five-thirty feeling very happy. While pouring herself a mango juice, she suddenly remembered an invitation to a party that evening.
She was about twenty two. Her long raven hair fell down to shoulder height and the mirror reflected her large dark green eyes. As far as looks were concerend she was more Kajol than Aishwarya.
Deep in thought, she walked over to her bedroom mirror.
"Look at my hair, my cheeks and my eyes. My figure's good ... but still I haven't met the one man that I can relate to."
She sat down on the small cushioned seat and spoke again to the mirror.
"No, that's not true. I've had plenty of propositions. All that "what gorgeous eyes you've got" sort of' thing. Tra la la. Guys with only one thing on their mind. Never a real man. Never that real man."
"Oh damn. This is all just self-pity. What the hell, I'll go to this party tonight on my own. I've done it before. Why not do so again?"
She on her bed side table and with a show of determination picked up the phone and spoke for a while.
"Are you telling me that there are no taxis available at that time tonight? Such a damn busy evening? What about a half hour earlier or later?"
"Okay, so you can't help me. Do you perhaps know of someone else whom I could phone?"
"Kismet Taxis? Kismet? Ha! Why not? Maybe that's just what I need. Can you give me their number? Thank you so much."
She dialled the Kismet number and was surprised by the cultured voice on the other end of the line. For a moment she thought that she must have made a mistake. Dialled a wrong digit somewhere?
"Oh, I'm sorry. Have I dialled the wrong number? What name did you say that was?
"Oh, so it is Kismet? OK Kismet, can you pick me up at seven-fifteen tonight?"
She gave her address and then gently put the phone down. For a while she wondered about the voice that she had just heard. Then she shook her head and went on with her preparations.
Later that evening, Kismet arrived exactly on time and stopped his taxi in front of her place where she was already waiting. He opened the car door, nimbly climbed out and walked up to her and introduced himself.
"Miss Patel. I'm Kismet. At your service, madam."
She stared at him, then at the vehicle and then back again at him. He was really quite handsome. Ok, very handsome and also well built. There he stood. Very smart in a well fitting suit. She had never seen a taxi driver dressed as smart as this before and with such a well groomed voice as well. Then she looked once more at the taxi. It was orange but more than that. It glowed liked the setting sun.
Eventually she pulled herself together and spoke.
"Ah you're on time. Thank you for that, driver."
He held out one hand towards her while he gestured towards the rear door of the taxi with his other hand.
"Thank you Madam. Your car awaits."
As he spoke, he opened the rear door with a little flourish. After making sure that she was comfortable, he walked around and resumed his driver's seat. Then he turned to look at her.
"Where to, Madam?"
To her annoyance, she found herself answering somewhat hesitatingly. She did not know why but she suddenly become a little unsure of herself. She had always felt quite at ease in public before but now here she was, suddenly feeling very uncertain of herself.
Thankfully, however, he had immediately understood her mumbled directions.
As they traveled along the North Coast road, on the way to La Lucia, an upmarket suburb in Durban North, she felt herself slowly beginning to relax. As she sat back in the comfortable seat, a kind of dreaminess overcame her. She remembered a poem that she had once learned by heart. Absentmindedly, she began to recite the words aloud.
"Therefore thou wakest me wisely.
Yet my dream thou breakest not,
But continued it."
Wait! What was that? Had he spoken? Yes, that had been him speaking. Her eyes opened wide as if she was trying to recall the words that he had just been said.
"John Donne, madam."
"What do you know about him, driver?"
"A great poet Madam. Let me finish the verse for you. It's too beautiful to leave it hanging like that in mid-air."
As he spoke, she could not help noticing that he spoke with real feeling and commendable intonation.
"For art so truth, that thoughts of thee suffice,
To make dream truths and fables histories.
Enter these arms, for since thou thought it best,
Not to dream all my dreams,
Let's act the rest."
Priya flopped back in her seat in wonder. She looked stunned. Usually of a rather shy nature, she felt that at that moment, she was being drawn into a whirlpool.
"Driver, what are you trying to say?"
Kismet gave a little laugh.
"Madam, the poem suggests that we act out a dream."
She remained quiet for a long time. Was that Kismet sitting in front a taxi driver or what? Whatever, she had never felt such a strange undercurrent of excitement before. She did her best to remain calm and polite.
"You must understand, driver, that I was merely rehearsing this poem. I'm a member of a poetry circle and this is the poem that I've selected to recite."
He remained silent for a while before he spoke.
"Madam. My name is Kismet. May I congratulate you. You've indeed chosen a most remarkable poem."
"Who are the hell are you, Kismet? You know poetry. Your manners are good. I can't make you out."
"I have an idea, madam. Just an idea. You can say no, of course. It's all up to you. Let me put it like this. You're alone this evening. You've obviously been invited to a party. You're all dressed up. Why don't I be your escort at the party?"
"What? Excuse me. You want to go with me into that big house with all those high society crème de la crème?"
"I'll be able to handle them quite well, Madam. I'm not afraid of high society at all. Been there done that, you know."
"Wait. I can't believe that I'm listening to you. How do I know that you won't let me down? Have you ever been in the company of the so-called upper crust?"
"Don't worry about a thing, Madam. I'll be on my best behaviour, I assure you."
"I don't understand all this. It's all so strange. Are you some kind of male escort?"
"No, madam, I'm not. Anyway there'll be no charge."
She became silent for a while as if she was weighing the options, Then she shrugged her shoulders in a philosophical kind of way.
"Mmm.... Well, why not? You know that I'm so tired of coming here alone. OK Kismet, you're on."
Just promise me that if things get out of hand and you become embarrassed, you'll leave with me immediately when I ask you. And that you'll then take me home without any argument. Is that understood?"
"It's fully understood, Madam."
"Well, okay then. Let's do it. Will you please just take off your cap before we go in. Try and look like a gentleman. Anyway just do your best please, won't you? And my name is Priya, by the way."




Comments: 47
As for criticism, I was so enraptured, that I noticed nothing to critique. On a second reading, I find nothing noteworthy to say, except that you need to continue! Small incidentals: In the second sentence of paragraph 2 it seems you may be missing a word. Also, I don't know if this is a British thing, but for me dialed is spelled with only one "l", you have used 2 (also travelled).
I think "It was a radiant orange" could use some sort of simile to brighten what you mean to imply here.
Everything else is wonderful. Great work, Fred!
That was a really great comment. You gave a great surge of motivation and I'll surely submit the next piece tomorrow.
I'm going to look at your editing ideas. They are all valuable and I'll attend to them tomorrow morning before I post anything new.
You are always so filled with joy that you even find whatever is joyful in my writing.
I'll give you the next one tomorrow and...you'll love it.
Yes that "as" is wrong and I'll fix that. As for Priya. Hmmm, I think that oyu're quite right. I see her so clearly in my mind that I neglected to write my thoughts on her down.
Of course I'm Indian. I even became a blood brother to an Indian friend from Udaipur...where Kismet comes from. But I won't talk about that as it is a bit bizarre.
Thank you for your comments. As always, I reallly enjoyed them.
This is very interesting and your taste of good places for romance is my all time fav...sometimes in the air and sometimes in the Taxi...relationship can develop anywhere and even I feel that Girls are often stunned when they see an ordinary man doing poetry...I can sense that...Priya seems a smart and alert girl...
I didn't get time to think and talking to the mirror:) I got the right man immediately...
I love you stories Fred because they all are so natural and without any artificiality...your innovative ideas mixed with sweet moments and seasoned with great dialouges...
Fred , this is a lovely tale...
Is there some mystical secret hiding there in his words.?
Fred, your descriptions flow so easily. I specially like the way you portray the scenes in such picturesque words. The conversation flows well and the poetry of John Donne in a taxi is a sure winner!
I remember reading this the first time round too. It is a magnificent tale!
This is a beautiful story and you have a soul of Indian people..
God bless you..your writings and tips are unforgettable....
plz visit my page..though I am not so much on Gather because my son needs more attention and you know that how Indian moms are:)
I'm always glad when you see something in my stories. For me you're a kind of pace setter.
I forget all my good breeding (hahaha) when I get a whiff of a Vegemite sandwich,
Thank you for your motivating words. The next part is up and a'waiting. Read on and all will be revealed.
Of course you didn't have time to this. No not you. But if priya had been swept away, then there wouldn't have been this story... but she will be, Give her time.
Yes romance can occur anywhere. In a balloon or when snorkelling. Difficult but it could happen.
I'm very happy that you say that my dialogue is good. It's a very difficult part of writing.
Perhaps it's because of everything that I've seen and experienced in my life.
I'm very glad that you like this tale so far.
Thank you for saying that sheila. I'm, under my other hat, a fighter against woman abuse and that's why I write very positively about women...without overdoing it.
"Beauty and the Beast"? Wait sheila until you see him dancing. Hoo boy.
Thanks for coming by (twice hahaha).
I'm so happy about you liking my characters and the hug makes me feel real good. Here's a hug back. Salud.
I love that poem Sheila. It's one of my all time favourites.
I'd like to meet kismet. He's a man of many parts. Maybe I have met him...I think that he's a sum of many people that I've met.
They were destined to meet. Even him being in Durban is a pre-ordained thing. He was at first meant to leave Oxford and go back home.
Your praise means a lot as writers do need a lot of encouragement to really do well.
I love what you've said about my writing. It makes me feel very motivated. Thank you.
Hi Cristina. If you like the beginning then read on...cos it gets better.
Please read the next bit and then the part that I'll post today about the Tango.
I hope that you'll get swept off your feet.
You're always especially welcome. Come and have some Dandelion wine.
Aha you've seen that. Kismet is no overgrown boy. He's very special. It doesn't show because he's got this laid back laconic style. He's a real aciever but he does like to have some fun on the way. Don't we all?
All will be revealed dear. Look at my next two articles...they are Parts 2 and 3.
You'll be so glad that you stay at home.
PS Can you dance? Read Part 3 and you'll see what I mean.
I read a little bit of this but haven't had a chance to read all of it yet. I won't give you a full out critique right now, but I'd like to point you to this article....it will help with a lot of what I'm likely going to mention. ;-)
One other thing, one of the best ways I find to write through a character's pov is to channel the character I writing at that time and use those thoughts and emotions to bring a character to life.
Something to keep in mind. =)
Also, here's a first chapter I posted not too long ago....if you haven't had a chance to read it.
Talk to ya soon.
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977144698&nav=Namespace
I was sure I had read this chapter yesterday but once I started to glance at it, I realized I had not read it.
Maybe I am off in some sort of dream world myself. I wish!
having a taxi driver as an excort ...sure its a great idea ... I guess Priya is one of such sweet souls who are a complete mis-fit in creme la creme ... and it would be fun to see both of them making fun of the pretentious party and fake people all dressed to impress ..
loved the way Priya says " "Look at my hair, my cheeks and my eyes. My figure's good ... but still I haven't met the one man that I can relate to."
her innocence shines through this ...she wants a real man and is not like all other who are with guys just to show off the world that they can catch one !! I also liked the fact that she can walk in alone in a party ..I admire this character in a women ( and also in men ) ..
Thanks for coming to visit. Welcome.
I've read your article and found it very interesting. There are some points that are a bit debatable.
I've read your first chapter and found it very interesting. There too I found points that are worth an exchange of ideas.
Let's talk.
Just call my flash backs flash forwards. Either way you'll find the pot of gold at the end.
Hahaha,
Please tell Wilma that it reads the same backwards or forwards.
Thank you for your praise.
I'm always so glad when you come and a little empty when you don't.
Yes, I'm so glad that you didn't read this rush rush. There are nuances that have to be savoured. You're sight about that.
It's obvious that you can live inside Priya's being. That really is a compliment to the witer. Thank you for these words.