People stop and leave wonderful comments about my work. I like to think that I am some how making a contribution that others find valuable. It certainly makes me feel like I have work I can do since there is so much I can't do. I can't work full time and sometimes I am not even well enough to leave my house.
Sometimes I have nights where poems just stream forth from my mind. Some people say they can feel the Holy Spirit in my work. Sometimes I feel like I my work is so inspired by the Lord, that I shouldn't claim I wrote it. I like the idea that my work uplifts others and inspires them. I'd like to bring others hope and validate their faith. That is enough of a reward and God has always taken care of me.
Other times I feel almost like Mr. Tanner in Harry Chapins song:
"Mr. Tanner Lyrics
Artist(Band):Harry Chapin
Mister Tanner was a cleaner from a town in the Midwest.
And of all the cleaning shops around he'd made his the best.
But he also was a baritone who sang while hanging clothes.
He practiced scales while pressing tails and sang at local shows.
His friends and neighbors praised the voice that poured out from his throat.
They said that he should use his gift instead of cleaning coats.
But music was his life, it was not his livelihood,
and it made him feel so happy and it made him feel so good.
And he sang from his heart and he sang from his soul.
He did not know how well he sang; It just made him whole.
His friends kept working on him to try music out full time.
A big debut and rave reviews, a great career to climb.
Finally they got to him, he would take the fling.
A concert agent in New York agreed to have him sing.
And there were plane tickets, phone calls, money spent to rent the hall.
It took most of his savings but he gladly used them all.
But music was his life, it was not his livelihood,
and it made him feel so happy and it made him feel so good.
And he sang from his heart and he sang from his soul.
He did not know how well he sang; It just made him whole.
The evening came, he took the stage, his face set in a smile.
And in the half filled hall the critics sat watching on the aisle.
But the concert was a blur to him, spatters of applause.
He did not know how well he sang, he only heard the flaws.
But the critics were concise, it only took four lines.
But no one could accuse them of being over kind.
(spoken) Mr. Martin Tanner, Baritone, of Dayton, Ohio made his
Town Hall debut last night. He came well prepared, but unfortunately
his presentation was not up to contemporary professional standards.
His voice lacks the range of tonal color necessary to make it
consistently interesting.
(sung) Full time consideration of another endeavor might be in order.
He came home to Dayton and was questioned by his friends.
Then he smiled and just said nothing and he never sang again,
excepting very late at night when the shop was dark and closed.
He sang softly to himself as he sorted through the clothes.
Music was his life, it was not his livelihood,
and it made him feel so happy and it made him feel so good.
And he sang from his heart and he sang from his soul.
(And) he did not know how well he sang; It just made him whole."
I write from my heart and my soul. It is not my livelihood but it makes me happy and it makes me feel good and it makes me feel whole. Maybe one reason I don't persue publication is that I am afraid I will find out how well or not so well I write and maybe I am afraid to find out as I am happy in my illusion. I don't handle rejection well and reality may not be something I want to know.
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Comments: 18
In the song, I'm sure the people valued the voice of Mr. Tanner. What did they care it wasn't critically perfect? It probably made them whole, too. How sad that they didn't get to hear it any more, after that.
"Fear of failure is a lack of faith. It can inhibit the ideas of an inventor; still the voice of a singer; blind the eyes of an artist; barricade the path of an adventurer. It can also be the catalyst to success. It can drive one to do their best. Facing the fear of failure plants the seeds of faith that can become the landscape of dreams."
Thanks for this excellent article.
Blessings,
Mary Mc
A former Tampa Bay resident.
People talk about how horrible editors are and that writers must have thick skin to handle all the rejection. I guess it depends upon the editor and the kinds of publications. I have never had an editor reject anything of mine in anythng but a kindly way. And some have even offered better avenues for my writing. :-)
If you're allowing God to be the drive, He'll let you know when and if it's time to seek publication. Meanwhile, just keep enjoying being the transcriber of His words.