The Stupidity Of Crowds

More and more often we hear the phrase "the wisdom of crowds" being used to explain the stupidity of the Internet and those who profit from it. It is a stupid line in many ways, not least because of the well documented ability of a crowd to turn the most reasonable and intelligent individual into a howling, gibbering lunatic.

"She’s a witch, burn her."

"But what if she isn’t a witch?"

"Course she’s a witch, she’s old and ugly."

"Well that isn’t evidence, we can’t burn someone without evidence and a trial"

"She’s got a wart on her nose"

"She has a cat. It talks too."

"Have you ever heard it talk?"

"No but my dog has."

"She drinks willow bark tea. Burn her."

"I’m sorry, we can’t burn her without any evidence. Are there witnesses, has anyone seen her witching."

"We don’t need witnesses, we can throw her off the church tower and if she lives it proves she’s a witch and we can burn her.

"And if she dies?"

"You never know with witches, so we’ll burn her anyway in case she is pretending.

A parody of a sketch from Monty Python and the Holy Grail of course. but so goes the wisdom of crowds, wisdom in the style of a Monty Python sketch, until injustice is done.

Crowds think with one mind, usually that of the most stupid individual present. Put reasonable people in a crowd and they become as stupid as the mass, simply because they do not want to appear different in case the mob turns on them.

Crowds have been stupid since the dawn of civilisation, it is well documented. So how can a few years exposure to the internet have erased twenty thousand years of evolution.

Did it ever matter whether Posh Spice "took it up the arse?" Not in the least, it was a matter between her and hubby Becks and perhaps the person who did their laundry as that kind of activity can lead to laxness in the sphincter, yet a few years ago it became an obsession with football crowds. Harmless enough, but demeaning to those who allowed themselves to be dragged into the hysteria.

Not a good example, you might say. OK, try this one:

"Heil mien little Aryan Party People. Your beloved fuhrer of der gang Dolphie wants to talk to you. Germany is in der scheiss you know. And who is to blame? Der Juden!

ZEIG HEIL ZEIG HEIL!

Ja mein poppets, if ve had a wehrmacht we could give der English and French der spanking they deserve. But ve haf no money to build a wehrmacht because those Red Sea Pedestrians stole it all!

ZEIG HEIL ZEIG HEIL!

The crowds went crazy as crowds do when someone is telling them what they want to hear. And the rest is history. Such is the wisdom of crowds.

The phrase is alleged to have first slithered from the lips of ubernerd Bill Gates. He was trying to justify the expansion of that perpetual rip-off engine Microsoft created in opening up amateur computer fiddler Tim Berners-Lee’s brainchild, The Web, to every dysfunctional geek, nerd, dickhead, arsewipe, fuckwit and misanthrope on the planet. Tim Berners-Lee is a lovely chap I’m sure but he is an amateur where computing is concerned and an academic where reality is concerned. To provide a security – free way for the aforementioned geeks, nerds etc. to access computers on which sensitive private information is held could only have one result. If people can do something they will.

The trouble with webheads of course is that while they love novelty they are not so keen on common sense.

Add to that the ability of the internet to make usually smart people say incredibly stupid things when talking about the net. Stephen Fry, usually worth listening to on any topic, is becoming one of the worst culprits for this. The usually witty and erudite comedian burbles slobberingly in Emperor’s New Clothes mode as if the very worst features of the web are some wonderful gift from on high.

Another offender is Jeff Jarvis, a Professor in Journalism at City of New York University. He is convinced the web is so great in future people will abandon reality to live, work and socialise online.

"We need never lose tough with old school friends, work colleagues or lovers" he burbles, as if those things are to be desired.

What a horrible world it would be if that came true. One of the biggest incentives to grow up and move our lives on is that we can leave behind the sad little dorks we went to school with, rather than have them constantly popping up to remind us what sad little dorks we ourselves were back then.

Do we want to keep in touch with the old office gang? The most likely reason we left the job was to get away from the sad, whinging no-lifes.

As for old lovers appearing from the mists of time, the possibilities are too horrible to contemplate. And that is from somebody who has not mellowed into middle class respectability.

The signs are civilisation has little to fear from these wise crowds, in fact they could be the salvation of the planet. Those who follow the wisdom of the crowd aka the diktat of Bill Gates will never leave their cyberbubble life and so will never meet real people with whom they can make real babies. This we will cut carbon emissions and solve the problems of food and water shortages.

A look at what becomes popular through "the wisdom of crowds" proves I am right. Recent megahits on social networking site Digg were "A surefire strategy to win at Monopoly" and "Dogs jumping through laser beams.

Are we to believe this shite is the best creative work the web generation can produce. Well if you believe in the wisdom of crowds it is.

Nobel Prizewinner Doris Lessing warns of the dangers of the internet