by Robert - just a simple man - B.
Member since:
April 12, 2007

Robert's Christmas Poem I

December 06, 2007 12:08 PM EST
views: 74 | comments: 50

 

Surfing Santa

©Robert C Burnham 

I went to the beach early on Christmas Eve

There was a party going on that you wouldn't believe

The spirits were flowing and the music was loud

All of the Beach Boys were mingling in the crowd

Elvis was singing that "Blue Christmas" song

When people pointed to a fat man in a red thong

 

 

He had a long white beard, it got quite the rave

As that jolly old fella’ stood up on a wave

Santa as a surfer? Man, that dude had a beat

Must have been a magic surfboard under his feet

He rode along the crest and then shot through the tube

Moving lightning fast - man that board was lubed

 

 

With the wink of an eye and a pipe in his mouth

 He hollered "Merry Christmas", then turned the board south

 Off to Hawaii where the waves are quite big

 Santa decided, surfing was gonna be his new gig

 So when you wake up on Christmas with no toys to play

 That's because Santa's too busy - Surfing USA.

 

 

 

 

 
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Comments: 50

Ann J. Dec 6, 2007, 12:11pm EST
LMBO !!....This is great !!!
Lisa E. Dec 6, 2007, 12:35pm EST
Lol! That's a really cute poem. Thanks!
Apryl Just Apryl Dec 6, 2007, 1:17pm EST
I Loved IT!!! I so enjoy fun poetry, Thank You!!
Lisa Frost Dec 6, 2007, 1:28pm EST
this is really cute! great job!
Marie J. R. Dec 6, 2007, 2:42pm EST
Robert,,, my son in law would love this,,, real cool,,,
Alisa Kerwood Dec 6, 2007, 3:52pm EST
cute
JoAnne D. Dec 6, 2007, 4:08pm EST
Funny, I love the pictures too.
Terry A. Dec 6, 2007, 4:17pm EST
great poem / really good
Beverly T. Dec 6, 2007, 5:09pm EST
Robert, what a fun read! It reminds me that decades ago I wrote a poem in a high school lit class about Santa in Hawaii, wearing his size 50 grass skirt! Obesity runs in our family, and the teacher later took me aside and had the audacity to ask me if that was the size pants my dad wore! [I really wanted to deck him right then and there!] Fortunately, I picked the number out of the air. I didn't know what size pants my dad wore.

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Anne N. Dec 6, 2007, 5:37pm EST
rofl, you have a great sense of humor, loved the poem terrific, wonderful, super lol
Jan S. Dec 6, 2007, 6:38pm EST
lol. very creative and funny!
HO HO HO!
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Cyndi B. Dec 6, 2007, 6:43pm EST
LOL. That is too funny ;0)
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 6, 2007, 7:11pm EST
Thank you all for enjoying this. Yes, Christ is the reason but I think he likes it when we have a little fun too. Now I have to figure out what the reindeer are doing while Santa's surfing. maybe a bowling league? Suggestions?
Sophiya S. Dec 6, 2007, 7:27pm EST
db10
Debbie G. Dec 6, 2007, 7:59pm EST
Well done! Very fun.
Rory M. Dec 6, 2007, 8:50pm EST
Santa in a thong??!??!??!? Well, thanks for putting that particular image in my head. I will be years and thousands of dollars spent on therapists getting over this. I hope you're happy. >:-(

(Just kidding, eh?)
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 6, 2007, 9:32pm EST
Hey, you made me see Rory in tights. Why not Santa in thong?
What goes around buster............
Rory M. Dec 7, 2007, 1:10am EST
As to your question about what the reindeer were doing, I think I saw them out back passing a joint around. I guess that answers the old question of whether reindeer really know how to fly!

I know, I know, my bad.
Rory M. Dec 7, 2007, 1:11am EST
Rudolph was blitzed!!
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 7, 2007, 3:12pm EST
Blitzed? Must have been that stopover in Canada, the land of 'play hockey', 'chop down trees' and 'get blitzed'.

I don't know about a sitcom Sandy; he wears green sweaters. LOL
Rory M. Dec 7, 2007, 10:17pm EST
Aw, shucks, Sandy, thanks. (Actually Robert is my alter-ego. I used to have a split personality but we got a divorce and my other half moved down to Texas. Good thing, too, we spent too much time fighting over the remote when he wanted to watch football and I needed a hockey fix.)

The Robert and Rory show, Shouldn't that be "The Rory and Robert Show"? Hmm. We could call it "A little R&R."
Rory M. Dec 7, 2007, 10:19pm EST
I may be fond of green sweaters but at least I'm not going for the pink ones.

Hey, maybe we could call our show "Pinky and The Brain". Guess who's The Brain.
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 7, 2007, 10:32pm EST
Egotists are rarely brains
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Dec 8, 2007, 4:16am EST
LOL!! Too bad I got here too late for this as I roared the whole the way down the thread.

Robert - This poem was delightful and I really enjoyed it, it was clever too!
Rory M. Dec 8, 2007, 11:09am EST
Robert, I'm not an egotist, I just honestly believe I'm superior to everyone and I don't believe in false modesty! ;-)
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 8, 2007, 8:47pm EST
Rory, just remember Robert before Rory in the Dictionary. Hey, I was just out in the corn field and I heard a voice, sounded a little like Kevin Costner, "If you build it [a group] they will come" LOL

Robert's & Rory's R&R Group.
Motto: Send us the articles, we'll provide the comments.

What do you think hockey boy? Heh?
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 8, 2007, 8:50pm EST
ps: Wasn't this article about Christmas once upon a time?
Felix R. Dec 8, 2007, 9:07pm EST
Cool poem, Robert...


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Rory M. Dec 9, 2007, 1:32am EST
Are we going alphabetically? I thought we were going by age, junior.

I'm up for it if you are, Robert. One warning to all who dare post and article to R&R, be ready to be made fun of because that will be the point. Nicely, though, for the most part.
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 9, 2007, 2:14am EST
Last Question, who builds the group? Do we have Sandy flip a coin; heads you build, tails I build?
Cheryl R. Dec 9, 2007, 11:04pm EST
Cute poem, Robert. Also some interesting comments. I'm not sure the world is really ready for R&R or R&R as the case may be. Worrying about reindeer, what do you think the elves do? Mrs. Claus has it down, no sweat.
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 9, 2007, 11:15pm EST
Rory and I have talked on the phone. We decided to make Sandy happy.
Robert & Rory R&R Group is going to become reality. Our Motto: "You leave the articles, we'll provide the comments"
Rory M. Dec 10, 2007, 1:09am EST
We have a motto?!? Why am I always the last to know these things? I did not get the memo on the motto! Hello!

I would suggest our motto be: "All the news that's fit to spoof." Or perhaps: "Two Wise Asses For The Price of One." Maybe: "Did you just write that?"

Okay, we'll go with yours. (This always happens. He's American so he just has to have his own way. I'm Canadian, so I'm too polite to argue. I'll just pee in his maple syrup when he's not looking.)
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 10, 2007, 1:14am EST
That's right folks. I'm the WISE and he's the ASS.
And as a side venture we are selling original and unique maple syrup - place your orders now for the Christmas rush.
Randi B. Dec 10, 2007, 8:43pm EST
To me your both a wise ass.
Poem is good as usual.
Rory M. Dec 11, 2007, 11:15am EST
I love it when big sister comes in to set us right. (I have a big sister, too, Robert, and I know enough to have a healthy fear of them.) Now that we've been sent to our rooms, so to speak, we can settle back to our normal (?) disruptive behaviour.
J W. Dec 12, 2007, 2:12pm EST
good poem
Karolyn Q. Dec 26, 2007, 3:38pm EST
Cute!

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Susan Roberts Dec 28, 2007, 11:12am EST
I love the poem and the "fighting" between the R&R team. Hey when you get this group going, let me know, I want to be able to laugh at least once a day. You two are great!!
Susan Roberts Dec 28, 2007, 11:13am EST
oh and Rory, I have a big sister and they can make you tote the line if they want to!!
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 28, 2007, 1:16pm EST
Sussan, Rory; I would simply be dead at least three times over if it wasn't for my big sis. She has saved my physical life on more than one occasion. I like her. But as my and my two brothers only sister, she can be a pain in the arse.
Robert - just a simple man - B. Dec 28, 2007, 1:17pm EST
Oh, once at gunpoint when I was a kidnap victim.
Susan Roberts Dec 30, 2007, 3:15pm EST
You need to write about that and post it on gather Robert. That would make a good story for us to read.
I am the baby of the family so my big sister liked to boss me around. Come to think of it, she STILL does at times. Sorry sis if you read this one on here LOL. Nancy is the one that got me to write on gather. MMMM now I don't know if I should hug her or kick her for that!! LOL just kidding Sis

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