by Fred Hose
Member since:
May 9, 2006

The Poetess and the Unfinished Symphony

December 03, 2007 02:19 PM EST (Updated: January 28, 2008 07:05 AM EST)
views: 67 | comments: 44

The Poetess

I've come from the tavern and drinking wine with my seers
I've responded to desert dancers' nudges and dark fiery eyes
By dancing with one hand on hip and one raised in wild joy

Then on my way over a stone wall I leapt
To edge my way through sharply thorned bush
Just to hear the blue Poetess song

She spoke of the night that she loved
And the one still held in her heart
That evening was a stolen gift
Just to enrich me on my way home.


The Unfinished Symphony

As I strolled along
In another world
I wondered
                                                                                                                                    

Are you?
Were you ever?
Could you one day be?

Is there a way?
Can you dream?
Can you feel?

Can you tell me how much?

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Comments: 44

Mariana T. Dec 3, 2007, 2:24pm EST
Fred - I'm running in here to say - I love the title and of course the first line...I have to savor this like I do my good wines so let's just say I shall return a bit later...I can't wait to indulge my senses. Salud.
Cheryl W. Dec 3, 2007, 2:25pm EST
Beautiful, Fred!
Svetlana Goryacheva Dec 3, 2007, 2:29pm EST
Just wanted to let you know that I was here... this is SO beautiful, making my all-too-busy evening special. God bless you, my dear firend! :-)

Hugs and best wishes in a plenty - S.
Fred Hose Dec 3, 2007, 2:31pm EST
OK Mariana

These two poems are rather off beat. So let's rather concentrate on having the wine. What are you going to have?...and then I'll have the same. Salud
Fred Hose Dec 3, 2007, 2:37pm EST
Thank you Cheryl I'm so happy that you enjoyed this ...hmmm...a bit unusual writing.

Hi Sveta !!! You hard working lady. It's so late and you're still at it. I'm so glad that this made a difference to you. Thank you for coming by. Big hug and inspirational wishes.
Thank you for taking this time off.
John Doyle Dec 3, 2007, 3:08pm EST
Fred, If that doesn't have a Rumi hint in it I am more of a blind poet that Homer
lynn a. Dec 3, 2007, 3:11pm EST
Fred, You are one of those writers who shows us how writing should be. You put the magic in it. You cause the dream to soar far out into a universe that doesn't end. I am so glad I saw this posted.
Edward Nudelman Dec 3, 2007, 3:15pm EST
that's a very interest rendering, Fred. I like the two sections matched up together. It's a novel way to build energy into the longing of love. Well done!
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Dec 3, 2007, 4:08pm EST
your title and then your poem...they both are like another beautiful world..
Ruthe M. Dec 3, 2007, 4:35pm EST
They do go hand in hand, don't they? Lovely, Fred. Absolutely lovely.
Marie J. R. Dec 3, 2007, 4:35pm EST
this is very well done, my friend,,, Thank you,,,
Cristina S. Dec 3, 2007, 5:07pm EST
The Poetess is lovely Fred, but the Unfinished Symphony is pure magic!
William Dotani Dec 3, 2007, 5:18pm EST
The metaphor of the unfinished symphony said just enough to make us understand why you call her the blue poet. Personally I liked the first part much better. One line was really great: 'That evening was a stolen gift.'
Sheila Deeth Dec 3, 2007, 6:56pm EST
Not sure if I was meant to read them as two or as one, but I read the unfinished as being the blue poet's song, that leaves you with just enough to know you want more - a stolen gift because you only have part of it.
Marge H. Dec 3, 2007, 7:31pm EST
I read it the same way Sheila D did as the "unfinished symphony" being the "Blue Poet's" song. I loved the last line. How does one measure love or unrequited love?
elizabeth e. Dec 3, 2007, 9:17pm EST
I loved "The Poetess", Fred...such visuals in my mind.
Barbary Chaapel Dec 3, 2007, 10:01pm EST
This is very, very original and clever, Fred.
I liked it a lot.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:29am EST
Thank you Judi. Yes...it was meant to be very visual. The hand on hip and the other held high and all that.
BTW your avatar is very visual too. I love the feeling it gives.

John, your comment really made my day. To get within one millimeter from Rumi is a giant stride for me. Hahaha...I loved your Homer reference. Great. Thank you for your visit, as always.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:33am EST
Hi Lynn
You're saing something there that strikes a chord deep down inside of me. I feel this magic sde of my philosophy. Where it comes from, who knows.
But I wonder always if I can express it. I try to do it. What you said made me feel that sometimes I might just get close to doing it.
Thank you lynn.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:36am EST
Yes Ed. Although the poems were written at different times I somehow how felt that the one was the completion of the other. It seemed to be a natural fit but still left some of the mystery.
Your comments were great.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:39am EST
Hi Reena and Bhawana
What is an article by me worth if you two don't come to visit? I love the joy and love that you bring with you in your comment boxes.

I knew that you would both see something in these poems. Thank you for being there.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:44am EST
Yes Ruthe. They go hand in hand. Yet they were written separately. They were just meant to fit. Thanks for the visit.

Thank you Marie dear. I'm glad that you liked it.

Hi Cristina. You liked the UF? That shows me that you're a poetic thinker. There were spaces to fill and you did that. I'm so happy to hear that.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:49am EST
Ah Bill. I love that line too. Ok ok I may have written it but sometimes a line really writes itself. When that appeared on my sheet I had another cup of coffee to savour my joy on receiving such a gift.

The first part is better...I agree but the UF gives one apeep into another's soul. Just a peep...nothing more. Thanks for your sage advice. I rate your poetic sense very highly.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:53am EST
Yessss Sheila. The two should be read together and the "stolen" part is because I was really an intruder, fired up by the wine and the dancing, who climbed the wall to hear the Poetess speak.
It was a time when I just had to hear her words although they were not for me.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 2:58am EST
No one can answer that last line. You know the answer or you don't. The UF was the Poetess' song. As I heard it. As I recall it. Thank you for having come dear.

Hahaha Liz. Yes...getting the rght answers from the right person. That's life's great game, isn't it? I'm glad that you were stimulated by this pair of verses. Go well.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 3:06am EST
Oh that's great Bob. I love it when you come to visit and if you enjoy something you make my day.
I do try to make my poetry visual. Not that I succeed but I do aim for that. Thank you.

Thank you Barbary. You made me smile. You see I may not be a good poet but I'm sure of one thing. God gave me the gift of being unusual at times. Of course, He did not only give it to me but I'm one that really enjoys and celebrates this gift.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 3:09am EST
Hi Marianne dear.
I'm so glad that you could come to visit. Allthose things??? Then you've made me very happy. Please don't stay away for such long times. Your visits are a pleasure.
Love and blessings.
sheila h. Dec 4, 2007, 3:47am EST
The swashbuckler ! ,inebrieted from his young ,exciting life and too much wine ,attempts to woo the mysterious and most savvy lady.The seducer seduced! And poor fellow, is left with the multitude of unfulfilled longings in his loins and queries in his mind....
If I have taken liberties,forgive me,but the two poems ,to me ,have this little scenario connection(at least in my muddled mind) and the poor suffering Lothario is very much agonizing about the night before ..Those questions ! He poses to the now phantom Blue Poetess ,the paramor of his fantasies. And ,poor devil,he is tormented by the what where why or not of love.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 4:38am EST
Hi shelia
So happy to have you here again. I love your interpretation of the "story' but I'm afraid that the plot, as intended, is a little bit different...but just as thrilling.

I tried to write about a Lothario, yes, but one who for one night wanted to hear the Poetess' song. Sung by her as she wandered alone with her thoughts in her garden filled with the scents of jasmine, lavender and frangi pani.

He sheard her song (the second verse) and then went home feeling that he had stolen a moment from her but felt enriched by her poetic thoughts.

Hahaha. There's a time for loins and a time for being steeped in a beautiful almost spiritual mood just for the sake of the spiritual lift.

I enjoyed this discussion with you. You have a fine sense of emotion.
William Dotani Dec 4, 2007, 11:42am EST
This is off topic, but I would hope you would add another chapter to your Walks with Poetry story. It just seemed unfinished in my opinion.
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 12:52pm EST
Hmmm Bill...I'd get get over there and have anther look. Thanks for the hint.
sheila h. Dec 4, 2007, 4:53pm EST
Fred,I don't care how you slice it, love ,longing, and possession is a progression that is tightly woven...your fella went to hear the Poetess sing her song....but then he stole from her! or felt that he had ..there is the longing and want to possess...own the person or something of them.In this case it is her essence as poetry. OK ,no loins this time..but if she had lifted her eyes to him...who knows?
:) just musings of an old lady with a young lover's heart on a cold winter day.....
Fred Hose Dec 4, 2007, 5:29pm EST
Dear sheila
You said it so so right. It was just as you say it. What you said did happen...but as you so beautifully added...if she had lifted her eyes to him...????

sheila, because of you, I'm beginnng to like my poem more and more. Thank you for that. Your writing reveals your young lover's heart absolutely.
Minakshi w. Dec 5, 2007, 2:32am EST
Lovely renditions, Fred. There is a strange energy in the first one, a kind of confidence. The Unfishished Rhapsody is pure Rumi, as John also pointed out. The questions half asked, almost understood, almost tasted on the tip of the tongue..the flames that leapt and the fires that burned...
I was lost in the dance of these two personas..one who merrily danced into a web and the other who is caught in his own webs now, full of love and longing!
Most magical, Fred!
Fred Hose Dec 5, 2007, 2:48am EST
Good morning Minnie. So good to have you here with us again.

I love the way you understood these poems. And for you to mention Rumi's name and mine in the same breath filled me with an excitement. An excitement that flows from knowing that I may become a poet yet. Yes yes I do write poetry but the question is am I a POET. Thank you for that shot of exuberant joy this morning.

Go well Minnie.
sheila h. Dec 5, 2007, 10:25am EST
Dear Fred,
Like it? You should love it! as I!
keep the beauty ,mystery and sensuous stuff coming ,my friend..it is better for generating warmth to this body than burning wood or oil...more economical and environmentally friendly,too!
Fred Hose Dec 5, 2007, 10:41am EST
Hahahaha sheila.

You're so right. Truth be told I do love it. Sometimes you write something that just works a magic.

More will come from my pen even if it's just to keep your fuel costs down.

Thank you dear.
John F Walter Dec 7, 2007, 8:38pm EST
This pair of pieces had a sort of rapturous intensity to them, and the second of the two in particular was interesting as a form of unfulfilled longing. I like the way you juxtaposed the poems, Fred, and created a tension between the speaker and the Poetess.
Zara' N. Dec 8, 2007, 6:51am EST
These are both beautiful! I'm so glad you found me so I could find you!

Z'
Marianne M. Dec 8, 2007, 8:08am EST
Ah, to dance like that again, with wild abandon! And the blue poetess song, calling like the siren's song, the appeal hard to resist. But there is still so much to learn. Lovely words. Thank you, Fred. Very nice to meet you!

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