Life with Buddy, a Continuing Saga- 12/01/07

   Helup, yu guyz, thu BUG has fuliped his lid. He got up at 4:30, and startud tu wurk on thu house without evun givung mi thu tyme uf day. He installud tu ligte fixturz he sade yu guys helpud him get, (he says thanks, by thu way), thet hav been situng here awhile, and then set out tu clene house, bigtyme. Supozedly, he thinks hez hostung a christmus dinnur here, and man, duz he hav his wurk cut out fur him. Grandma saiz sheul help, but shez not here yet.

   Thet's one uf thu rezuns he saiz he bought this plaece, tu be abul tu have famly events hear, becuz Grandma gru up in thu distension, and turnud intu a pacrat, so we havunt been abul tu do it there for years. Sorry BUG, but lookung around here, it looks liek thu apul didunt fall tu far frum the tree. lol. 

 

Hey, what do you think you're doing, Buddy? What the hell is this? I didn't give you permission to write a saga, now did I? Oh great, just let everyone know I'm a slob, why don't you, and insult grandma, too, while you're at it. Well, I don't have time for this, you can write a saga if you want, I guess, it will keep you out from underfoot,  but you just take those parts out, right now, young man!

 

Sure, no problum, BUG, didunt kno yu were that tuchy about it!..........................Ya, yu bet, bulet brane, like i'm gonna let uh big maroon like yu edut my stuff. See whut I put up with, yu guyz? Alwaes orderung mi arond. And hi wundurs whi I munch hand, evun tush, oncet in uh while. Sheesh. This isunt my fault. If it wuz up tu me, therd be nuthung in hear but my stuff, and itud bi easi tu clene upt.

   Itz like thu cellphone dele. I purpusly markud the damn thing, so he cud walk right tu it, with any noze at all, but did he evun sniff thu plaec out, no, but then when Ritu found it for him, he actuley got mad, cuz I peed on it. Whatz thu mattur with him? All I evur du is help thu guy, and all he evur duz is bitch and mone.

   Take yesturday for exampul. We went up tu Westy tu renu our car tags and see his doctur. I sat patuntli in thu car while he wuz doung whatevur humuns du, and then wi went ovur tu Grandma's tu visut, and check out thu basemunt finushing job his nephu is doung there. He takes mi inside, and hi and Grandma go down tu the basemunt. He knoes I don't do down stares, onli up ones. Down stares scare thu crap out uf mi. They wur down ther a long tyme. I got scarud up there by myself, and natur took it's course on Grandma's carput, and he blamud mi, uf corse, didunt evun consider I'm scarud of down stepz, and he left mi ther, bi mysulf, just got mad at mi, rite awae, big ugly jurk.

   Whiel wer talkung abut what humuns do when dogs arunt around, is it tru that you humuns orangy evur time we arunt ther? Grandma's neybor's dog told me that whenevur they thro her out, she can hear them in there pantung and moanung, screming out stuf. She saiz that menes ther in ther havung an orangy. She says they call it orangying instead of havung sex, for sum stupud humun reasun. I dun't understand it eithur. So is it tru? Du you all orungy whenevur we arunt around? I kind uf think thet must bi just her ownurs, cauz I can't imagin anyone orungying with thu BUG, or Grandma, for that matur, and I sure don't want tu. I'm tramuntized enuf, jus livung with him. Still, boeth placuz he stoppud yesturday, he wuz in ther long enuf tu orangy. Well, one of you can tell mi, I bet.

   I suppoze I bettur get this postud, before the BUG cums back and seez I dinunt edut out hiz slobocitee. Slobocitee is hiz religun, I think. He'ze always biddung on sumthing on one of thoes online auctun sites, then he and Grandma go get it if he winz sumthing. He thinks hez a grate white bargun huntur, but he forgetz there needz tu be sumplact tu put it. I see a storage unut in hiz futur, and I dun't hav tu be a swambee tu predict that. U kno, swambee, one of thoz guyz that swim thru the atheriall univursul knowludge and tel us whut will bee. Turbun, crysul ball, all that jazz. Well, hez wurkung hiz way bak out here tu the dinung rume, so I betur run, Till next tyme, crazi humun frends, and stop thet orangying while I'm writung next tyme, itz distractchuning, Yur Frend, Budi.

 

Link to updated Ron&Buddy materials. They're all in here, from the beginning, sagas, poems, etc. All about the Budster, in many varied and interesting reflections, we hope!  

Link to ALL poetry by Ron W. on Gather