Flat Randy Goes To Gold's Gym

Hi, It’s me, Flat Randy. I was so excited today. Audrey took me to Gold’s Gym with her.    I got to meet the nice girl at the desk. Can you believe she didn’t know anything about me or Flat Stanley?

I have a secret….Audrey snuck me into the women’s locker room. It was ok because there weren’t any other women in there at the time.   We put our coats in a locker and I got to look around. Hey, I may never get in a women’s locker room again.

There was a sauna in there. Audrey took me in it and BOY was it ever hot!

Then we went into the women’s workout room. I think Audrey was afraid to take “little old me” out on the main workout floor.

I think I will like these machines cuz you get to sit down to exercise.      But I have a problem, my legs are to short to reach the leg pad. I’ll move on to the next one

Now lets see, Audrey is going to use a machine to work on her abs, but mine are really flat so I will skip that one. Then there is this machine to help strengthen your back muscles.    As much as I fold up to go places I’d better do this. Hey. If I sit in the seat I don’t reach the back roll and if I get on the back roll nothing happens. Maybe this machine isn’t for me.

I will try this mat on the floor and see what that does.    Wait a minute, you mean I’m supposed to reach up and grab that bar and do sit ups. NO THANK YOU.

Look, a big ball.    I love to play ball. I guess you are supposed to lay on it and relax your muscles between exercises.

Maybe I can use this little weight.   Now what am I supposed to do with it? I know I can roll it with my feet, maybe not.

Audrey is finished with a machine that says lateral pull downs on it.  I watched and you are supposed to grab that bar and pull down on it. WAIT! If I grab the bar, I’m no where near the seat and I’m such a light weight I can’t make the bar go down.

There is another machine that you can lie down on. That’s more my speed.    Ooops, I think you are supposed to lay face down and do something with your legs. That’s ridiculous…my legs would never reach that other roller.

I know I will try the treadmill.    I’m not worried because I can just stand up here on the handlebar while Audrey uses it. Can you see her in the mirror?

I Give Up! Maybe I will try out the shower room…..you never know who might be in there.