Bruised But Not Broken

Bruises heal with time, love, support. Sadly to many families have such pressures on them that the time is used working to get money, the support is thin, and the love is overlooked. Broken - I wish I had an answer. As a young person I thought I could save the world, went out and came back disillusioned. I now work on saving one person at a time and hope they will do the same. Thank you for your writings.

You are so nice Spencer. Please be aware that this is going on in all races, all cultures, all over the world now. They have so much information available to them, They learn so fast. I have always thought that is the reason, at least part of it, for the infernal "generation gap" that always pops up for all of us. It is just that it is our turn. I am not downplaying the problems, Lord don't we have them, a lot of the progress I saw made in the sixties has disappeared. But it has resurfaced in other ways. We also notice it more now because there are more "outspoken" kids, and not many of them are at home, by dark, like we used to be. Things have changed. Kids have changed, and sad to say, we have not. We tried to give them everything and keep our old ways, but the now thing, is no where near that. It is so passe. All we can do is hope they make it, and some of what we taught them comes out when they are older, just like it did for us. It will be ok. Thanks for the article, and you are not alone in your concerns, it is in my race as well. I will be glad when we can all just say the human race first, then get into our heritage, Blessings Ellen B

Bernadette, I too was so disappointed when a youngster knowing I could have an affect on the world but bumped against a brick wall of resistence. Like you I am working on one person one day at a time.

Thanks for sharing.

What a profound and thought provoking poem. Is it bruised or broken? I think broken and needs a cast. I think bruised and needs an antibiotic.

My inspiration for a solution comes from Desmond Tutu:

"When will we learn, when will the people of the world get up and say, Enough is enough. God created us for fellowship. God created us so that we should form the human family, existing together because we were made for one another. We are not made for an exclusive self-sufficiency but for interdependence, and we break the law of our being at our peril. When will we learn that an escalated arms race merely escalates global insecurity? We are now much closer to a nuclear holocaust than when our technology and our spending were less.

Unless we work assiduously so that all of God's children, our brothers and sisters, members of our one human family, all will enjoy basic human rights, the right to a fulfilled life, the right of movement, of work, the freedom to be fully human, with a humanity measured by nothing less than the humanity of Jesus Christ Himself, then we are on the road inexorably to self-destruction, we are not far from global suicide; and yet it could be so different.

When will we learn that human beings are of infinite value because they have been created in the image of God, and that it is a blasphemy to treat them as if they were less than this and to do so ultimately recoils on those who do this? In dehumanizing others, they are themselves dehumanized. Perhaps oppression dehumanizes the oppressor as much as, if not more than, the oppressed. They need each other to become truly free, to become human. We can be human only in fellowship, in community, in koinonia, in peace.

Let us work to be peacemakers, those given a wonderful share in Our Lord's ministry of reconciliation. If we want peace, so we have been told, let us work for justice."

Spencer this is so on point, exactly what's going on now and it hurts to look at it.

You said : "What makes the preacher try to avoid me? What makes that child's dad walk away when he sees me comin..."

When you stand for something so many will not want to deal with you, or look you in your eye. I had parents who raised me on scripture and as I got older I took hold for myself. I believe in the existence of the Devil as much as God, I believe his influence on society is intensifying, scripture says in the last days things would advance from bad to worse. It's affecting whole families, and because more children have no spiritual roots and don't know about their heritage they don't have any values to hold on to.

But as long as God is still a fact, I say bruised, not broken.

Yes, ELLEN, children are different now than when we were growing up but I feel they need the same nurturing we received but many are not receiving it. Youngsters have a lot more info available to them at a faster pace than we did and they need some guidance and stablity in their lives to be able to assimulate it usefully to be able to properly use it. I just saw a news item about how so many kids are using prescription drugs to get high thinking it is a safer method than street drugs. Our kids are suffereing in many ways yet many have no real sturdy home base to lean on.

Thanks for sharing.

Joan, I certainly agree with you and Desmond Tutu but before we target a world situation we must take steps to rebuild our families here around us. I am still rocking from seeing so many youngsters who have no idea what unconditional love is and feel detached from family which should be their base of love. We have to reach as many of these kids who are reaching out where ever they can find what they feel is good companionship or what they call love. They get used and abused too often in their quest to fill those empty spots they need filled.

Thanks much for your input.

Lydia, so right. As you said," It's affecting whole families, and because more children have no spiritual roots and don't know about their heritage they don't have any values to hold on to."

They are starting off at a loss when they come from lost families with broken ties to their past. But one bright glitter is common in so many of these kids.....they want that spiritual tie to their past and are hungry for love and passion in their lives. And what I am appreciating is that many of them are estute enough to discern when someone is real or just pertending.

Thanks so much for sharing.

I agree. I didn't want to take his direct quote and embellish (smile). How I apply it is that there are children right in front of our lives that we often do not stop and sit a moment to think about how could we reach them. I am motivated as I type this to take a moment and call a niece/nephew and let them know that they are special and Auntie and Uncle love them. My mom's friends and sisters used to do that routinely for me. I never feared that if something happened to them that I would NOT be cared for properly. There were no strangers in my life. My parents had old school friends who always included me in their lives. I would learn from an aunt how to needle point or learn how to wash dishes when I wouldn't even do it at home (smile). In hindsight, these experiences were fleeting-a day here or a weekend there. But I recall them and the sense of security I grew up with. I grew up in the so-called "hood" with not a lot of money but my parents were older and mentally stable/prepared to raise a child. So they always got me out long enough for me to always know there was a better way of life if I was not afraid to find it. The broken family is a cycle that can be stopped. It has been said your belief precedes your thoughts, your thoughts precede your choices, your choices precede your actions and your actions precede your success. I think that if we believe it is not broken we will not take steps to really fix anything. If we believe that it is fixable we will take steps to do something personally. So I'm going to do my part and call some folks down south :)

Nyota, you are right. Broken things can be rebuilt. The problem with that is scars remain until at least that issue has been fully addressed. Bruises fade away in time.
I am smiling and huggin you as I write. :)

Thanks

Then, Joan, I feel like family in wanting to extend a hug. We have to keep those positive touches alive to not only provide a lifeline for some who never had them but to keep that sense of security within ourselves. I can't imagine the emptiness one must feel when there is no one around to reinforce love, caring, to cheer for you or to simply offer a knowing smile. Like you said I had aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, teachers and church family besides my own parents who acted as my own cheering section in helping to keep me going. When I took a wrong turn I let a whole lot of people down but I always had a huge cheering section. Many of today's kids have a limited cheering section. Those we need to share with.
I too grew up in the hood but it was thriving at a higher level than it does today.

Spemcer, many parents have already lost control of their children, and the children are lost, they are either sent to their room, or ignored, just what they did acted on, and not why. I know parents who do not want their children at home. They barely take care of them, and these children form their opinions on that type of life.
To me the greatest gift you can give them when growing up is to say you "can always come home," and you can "Tell me anything, even if it is awful, I love you">, then you have to make them believe it. Your poem is so understanding and well put for such a sad situation, and breakdown in our society. Ellen B

Excellent article! Sad reality... Many reasons though, celebrity with poor character as hereos, alcohol and drug abuse. economic decline and too wide of a spread in moral attitude. Many are at one end acting superior and judgemental and the others are at the other end with no sense of moral, ethical or responsible behavior. It is across all races, religions and The children suffer when not supervised or corrected as life lesson punishment is harder outside the home.

Excellent article !!....Thank you.

Excellent!

You need to get out there and use that voice for all of the good that you've shared in this article. You have a voice and a mind that speaks loud and clear about what is happening to the black families. Do not be so alarmed as it isn't only the black families that are bruised honey, their are plenty of hispanic families and white families that are bruised and I am afraid may be too broken to fix my dear friend. But you have a voice and the Lord knows it as he has more plans for you Spencer. Heed his call to serve and educate those that you can reach and the riches in heaven will bestowed upon you when you reach those pearly gates. God is all knowing and sees everything that we say and do; and you my kind sir have alot of beauty within you that yearns to come out and speak and spread the word.

Thank you and Amen.

I am teary eyed and don't know "the" answer. But I believe it has to do with greed and the trickle down effect. When I was a child, my mama was one of FEW who worked. I had a good babysitter who spent time with me.
Now mothers or fathers work, and there is nobody home who loves the child. Or who has the ENERGY to raise the child when mama is working. Then the breakdown starts. We are into the third and fourth generation of folks with no mama and no grandmama to love them in the day.
It is a lonely world true.
Loving one at a time is the only way.
Seems futile, but it's not.

When I talk Greed, I don't mean by the folks who are working... I mean by the capitalist system's parasites who live off the troubles of the populace. That is why mama AND gramma have to work, leaving the kids in harm's way.

Spencer...why do some avoid you while others are drawn to you? It's simple really...if I can see it in your words, others see it. You love! You care! You are a man of God and you seek to serve him! Like others have said, this is really not a racial problem although I know we each speak to what we see...I see my own family in similar pain and trouble and I wonder how they could have rejected all that they saw and learned as they were growing...

Thankfully, though, there are those that speak...like you...and God is there to support your efforts!

This is excellent, by the way...in itself...even though the message is the key thing...

Z'

Heather, you are so right. When there are limited positive role models for youngsters to see they reach for what is familiar to them. Sports figures and other entertainers carry too much weight with our youngsters but we carry a lot of the blame. I find too many adults act with little moral character which reflects negatively on our kids. Then we wonder what happened to the children.

Thanks for sharing.

Thank you, Ann. Please come back to visit.

Esther, not only is my voice tired but I am tired of the many years of speaking out and bucking the status quo. While many have been having a ball not paying attention to the degradation which had been building for years I end up comfortng some of them when they suddenly wake up and say, "what happened?"

Thank you much.

Cat, I had no mistake about what you meant. Working parents do have an affect on the lives of children and too many are at home (or suppose to be) alone. I also think far too many adults are caught up in our capitalistic way of life and live beyond their means. Too many are striving to get the latest toy or most popular shoes for themselves and family which says to me their priorities are skewed. A few years ago a fella came to my house with his brand new dog he had just bought a couple days ago but he wanted to borrow money to pay his electric bill. Dah!

Thanks for sharing as always. Hugs.

Zara, more need to hear and heed the message. Thanks so much.

Liz, I always appreciate your flavor and soul spillings. Yes, slavery did plant a lot of hopelessness in our ancestors but through it all there was a collective consciousness which gave us a knowledge of our own humanity. No matter what was being said to and about us or done to us there existed a depth of consciousness which was fostered through the church, many relatives and other strong willed people in our society. There existed a collective self definition which helped us to transcend the world and reach for something better. Whenever you can look at and express your reality (good or bad) you affirm your humanity which means you have hope and a stirring soul. It used to be affrimed in our spirituals and blues songs all along the Delta regions and many others in the south. Those affirmations were brought to the cities to build a new life with a continued hope. No matter what was faced there was an element of hope to give the strength to face the next day, the next week and on and on.
Like you've expressed, there before us we found a many American lies which applied to most citizens but practically left us out of the loop. Once we struggled to own property and move into our own homes "white flight" left most cities bare with the American Dream gone to the former farmlands outside the cities they called suburbia. Along with them they took not only the higher tax base but stores, banks and jobs. Somewhere near the end of the civil rights movements many blacks used those gains as a stepping stone to move on out to what they thought was a better life. The dream again moved further away from them leaving many in a mental quagmire and with a lot less hope and collective consciousness. The powerful drug of hope turned into drug addictions of whatever was available and lives and humanity suffered till we arrived where we are today. Far too many with little or no hope believing the Amreican Dream is dead or at least not for them. The single most common thread I find in those who live on the edge of society is "dispair". When one looses hope the soul dies and humanity suffers.

America likes to be the innocent party though it is doing wrong but will constantly point an accusing finger at those who somehow do not fit its vision of the Dream. All my life I have heard accusations against me about crime and as many negative situations as one could create. Yet, America, needs to ignore her own negatives to keep the lie alive. While I am being berated I hear so much about how glorious George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were in their helping to make this such a wonderful nation but somehow in the midst of the dialog all is forgotten that those wonderful men owned slaves. When so many espouse the leadership of Abraham Lincoln and how he worked tirelessly to unify this nation many ignore his own words when he said if there was anyway he could unify this country without freeing the slaves he would. Part of the reason he had to make that move was to bring some relief to poor sharecroppng whites who were barely a step above slavery themselves. But...somehow that American lie is able to continue with so many willing to ignore or hide the truth. It disturbs me how some keep a separate and unequal mentality about some groups of people when at this time in our history most common folks share in the suffering.
Lots of hugs to you, Liz.

dropping by a 10 for ya

Spencer,

Being Black in America is an experience that is completely UNIQUE!

There is but one -- but ONE group of people who came here against their will -- the African people, and therein begins the history of the Black man in America.

WE know this, and NO ONE else could and/or would ever understand it, except to have lived it in our skin, and they can NOT.

Sometimes the better part of wisdom in these things is SILENCE, when lack of experience can not yield any thing, except foolishness.

Period. The END.

Thank you for the article.

And some people are ignorant beyond belief. I lived it you fool and know what it is to have come from family that was enslaved against their will and had their land taken away from them. What makes you think that you know it all?