Life With A Bipolar Teen

Since my 17 year old son was a young child, I thought there was something different.  I was told to test him for ADHD, and he had horrible temper tantrums, but he also had a very high IQ.  He was out of trouble, performed adequately in school, had friends and was a generally good child.  A bright, inquisitive child seemed to explode with temper at puberty.  The learning disability became apparent, when he moved to middle school.  He was able to accommodate it in elementary school, because he is so bright, but the pace picked up and left him behind.  I asked to have him evaluated for special education, and they determined that he had a processing order as it pertains to written language.  He learns by listening, not by writing or reading.  It is amazing what he can retain by just listening. 

The school did not accommodate his needs well, and he also was developing some behavior problems that we had never seen before.  He would have huge violent rages that were directed at me for the most part.  He was out of control, and as he grew in size, I began to fear for my safety.  In between these rages was a caring, bright, compassionate child, but they were followed by periods of depression.  He wanted to kill himself, he wanted to sleep, he cried, and my worry continued.  I asked the school to help through his IEP during 8th grade.  We became involved in "the system" at this time, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. 

They saw my son has a child with behavior issues, and looked past the possible mental health issues.  We would be making progress, but then a manic episode would cycle, and he would do something to land him in juvenile hall.  He has never done something really horrible, but enough in this town to be sent there.  They took him in shackles to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed him with Conduct issues, ADHD, depression, anxiety and the possibility of bipolar that needed to be ruled out. 

He was sent home to me, but was not there long before another manic episode occurred.  He uses poor judgement and does crazy things during this time, and he was dared to steal a paintball gun from some-one's garage.  He took the dare, and ended up in a group home for a year. 

The group home was not the worst thing to happen, because he learned to control his anger.  They had extensive behavior modification plans on this, and it was very successful.  They did not however track and treat his bipolar disorder.  He continued to cycle, and have issues, but he was in a very controlled environment.  They excused his mental health issues, and claimed it was only behavior. 

He came home to me, and we had a wrap around program that was supposed to be there to support us.  It was a joke to say the least.  Within a few weeks, I could see that his cycle was escalating and something was going to happen in his manic phase.  They would not listen to me, they did not address his mental health needs, and tried to blame me.  Well, as predicted, he took my car in the middle of one night, and got pulled over.  Although I did not press charges, the DA did for grand theft, and he was sent to a lock down treatment facility.

They tried to diagnose him with Asperger's, but decided that it was just conduct issues.  On his last day there I asked his counselor the diagnosis, and he did not even know.  I have believed for a long time that he was bipolar, as my father was, but no one would listen.

He returned home this July, and he did well for a while, until another manic phase hit.  He had never had a history of drugs or alcohol, and always tests clean, but he decided to drink one day after school.  He consumed so much alcohol that he had to be transported to the trauma center by ambulance.  He spent a night on life support, and the following day he was in juvenile hall. 

He does not understand these phases, he has genuine remorse, he follows them with depression, and is such a text book bipolar.  I faced the judge, and showed my concern.  It had been previously ordered that he would return home with counseling support and a full psychiatric evaluation.  That never occurred, and the judge was furious with county mental health.  I expressed my frustration with "the system" to the judge and he ordered the county again to do an evaluation. 

I marched that kid down to his doctor the same day he was released, and we were referred to a psychiatrist through my private insurance.  We had an appointment three days later.  He was diagnosed with bipolar syndrome, and medicated with a mood stabilizer.  That was three weeks ago, and I still haven't heard from the county. 

We are working with the doctor to find the right dosage, and get him stabilized.  It is an emotional roller coaster for me as much as it is for my son.  I hate to medicate him, but it seems to help him.  He is the bright, inquisitive, fun, compassionate and loving son again, but I know our journey with this illness is not over.  It is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. 

I have held this secret from my Gather friends for too long.  There is such a stigma with a mental health diagnosis, especially when it causes issues with his behavior.  I have always advocated for consequences to his actions, but also an understanding to the disease.  It is something that changes the whole dynamics of the family, as we try to treat, and understand his mood swings.