I have not really been gathering for a while. Real life is happening around me. My husband and I just moved into a smaller apartment.... not because we wanted to but because right now we are just finacially strapped and needed to save money. It is not the best place, but it is a place to live for now. Hubby is not working right now. He is going through things. He is also an alcoholic. He doesn't want to be, but has been drinking since he was 12. He drinks to get away from life.
Yesterday, instead of job hunting, he spent the day drinking. He feels so alone. Situation with his family is getting too much to handle, too emotional, too real.
We had very different childhoods. I will never be able to truly understand his as I never experienced it. His family was never there for him. His mother left him alone in their house so she could go stay with her boyfriend. She would blame him if she was having relationship problems. Recently, we asked her to borrow some money. She said she would help and then didn't. We understand if situations change and she couldn't but at least have the respect to let us know. We were relying on that and she won't even return his phone calls now. He is sooo upset, it's not even about the money. All he wants is for her to call, for him to feel wanted. Heis having a tough time, wondering how I can love him when his own family doesn't.
We are spending the day alone together. Without family. My family lives out of state,my sister who does live nearby is working. His family, he has decided is a negative and he has decided to push them away. He has been bottling up how he feels for so long, he is now releasing his feelings of how he was treated growing up. I hope that someday,he can reconnect with them,but I will support him now while he does what he needs to do.