Time to Pack it in!

I'm thinking about leaving my partner in crime in a few weeks.  Hopefully before the new year.  You see he is an alcoholic and as we all know they never never never take responibility for any of their actions.  And of course most are just plain crazy.  Which he is by the way.  But I've just gotten tired of his sense of ... entitlement, his KING like attitude.  He thinks because he works so hard (construction) and has to drive so far (Troy) that this is his God given right not to help out around the house.  Of course let's not forget that I too work, I was smart - I only put in applications within a 15 min. driving distance, but my job is physical also ( work in a warehouse club). So I think that excuse is mote.  Then of course he doesn't think there is anything wrong with not keeping in touch with me about where he might be after work, just as long as he eventually comes home.  Hmm, is it me?  NOooo I think not. 

You know it might be different if we lived on 20 acres and I had the house of my dreams, no...no it wouldn't.  I would still be crappy, just in style.  LOL. 

 So I'm thinking of leaving.  NOOO - Actually I am leaving, I'm trying not to make excuses because It's too hard to pack up all the crap one accumalates after 13 years in one place.  I tend to get overwhelmed when I start to think about it.  So this is what I plan on doing ... 1 room at a time.  I've already started.  I took 2 bags of warm clothes, that I will never wear, to a lady at work who collects clothing for the homeless.  I bag at a time, 1 room at a time.  But it ain't easy.

I like my house, I don't want to leave it.  I have invested a lot of my energy here.  And lets face it, housing is not all that cheap.  Unless you go down and live on campus (ick) or the slummy parts of town (double ick).  Besides the fact that my little buddy Whiskers is buried just to the right of the deck, I was going to plant a pretty flower there this next spring.  Now I have to leave him.  This is not a good feeling. 

So I'm leaving my home, my Whisker Kitty and my flowers.  But I guess it's the best I can do if I want to keep my peace of mind, my self worth, My ME!

I'm tired of the constant bashing of my self in his mind.  Somehow it always seems to be my fault that he has to have another drink, or he is "having a bad week" but it will get better he promises.  So, I'm leaving.  Hopefullly by the new year, 13 years is a lot to pack up.

Thanks for listening.

~Debby