Who knows a funny JOKE?

A man walked into a bar and said OUCH

Why did the zebra get mad at his owner?

Because he called him SPOT

Sorry that's all I got for ya!!

Sorry, don't do jokes, Tyler...

My Thanksgiving Greeting to you, my Gather Friend !

What do you call a black guy who flys planes?

*pause for answer*

A PIOLET YOU RACIST!!!

There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.

The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, "Congratulations you're the father of twins!" He says, "Great! I am the manager for the Minnesota Twins."

The second nurse comes out and tells the second father, "Congratulations you're the father of triplets"! He says, "That's cool! I work for 3M."

The third father opens the window and jumps out.

The third nurse comes out, and asks, "Where's the third father?"

One of the other fathers said, "Oh he jumped out the window."

The nurse asks, "Why?"

He replied, "He works for Seven Up!"

A Cop pulled a car over for speeding.

When the Cop asked the driver why he was traveling 95mph, the driver answered that he was a juggler on his way to do a show for a birthday party and didn't want to be late.

The Cop told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket.

The driver told the Cop that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Cop told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car, and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Cop got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car.

A drunk got out, watched the performance briefly, went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.

The Cop observed him doing this, and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well haul my butt to jail, cause there's NO way I'll pass that test."

A Polish guy walks into a store and says, "Open the register!".

The store keep says, "We're closed."

The Polish guy says, "I'll be back tomorrow"!

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

I actually just posted this on Gather, but will share with you here:

Mole Family

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live

together in a little mole hole. One day, papa mole sticks his head out

of the hole, sniffs the air and said, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!" The

mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said, "Oh, Yum! I smell honey!"



Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the

air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. This makes him

whine, "Geez, all I can smell is.... MOLASSES!

haha thanks for the laugh