Dear Subconscious

Dear Subconscious,

 I am writing you today to inquire as to why the nature of my dreams have changed, and why it is that you’ve taken upon yourself to get more strange than LSD mixed with tax code law. I must admit that complaining about you is something akin to complaining about the weather. I realize that it is your nature to be dark and mysterious. I realize that you wouldn’t be who you are if I had some say in how you operated.

 I also must admit that I am truly impressed by some of your work. The dream I had where I was scooting down the road at high speed while sitting on nothing but air was impressive and fun. The dreams I’ve had of had of flying were nothing short of spectacular. Even the scary dreams were clearly works of art. The bear dream that lasted so long terrified me. The reoccurring nightmare that I’m still married makes me appreciate waking up. And the recent invention of Bonnie Parker has left me feeling like I’ve been possessed by the woman. I have to admit you’ve done your job well if I wonder if it was really a dream.

As an aside, I could use more sex dreams. I like them. The dream I had about Dawn Wells was classic. You might have waited a couple of more years but hey, who am I to question you? I also like the dream that featured the woman I was actually in bed with at the time. I won’t ever forget that one, and I doubt if she will either, or for that matter, anyone living within a quarter mile of my apartment at the time.

Your latest work, however, borrowed too heavily from popular culture, and honestly, it was more than a little creepy. I understand the need to take on material from recent events, but to gack the plot from an episode of a television show is just amateurish at best. When I woke up it dawned upon me that you had done just that and I was slightly disappointed in you. It’s like watching a movie with the same plot twist of an earlier work by the same writer. The heart transplant thing was just a little too much like the episode of “House” I had watched a couple of hours before. It may be a decent show, but you ought to stay away from borrowing plots from it.

The woman in the dream was nice, however. I have to give you that. She was nothing like the woman in the “House” episode, and it’s a good thing or I would be questioning your abilities. I must admit you did well with her. She reminded me a bit too much of Jennifer Connelly from “A Beautiful Mind” , not that I’m complaining, but you were already leaning to much on Hollywood to begin with, weren’t you?

The accent was a nice touch. To give her a soft Midwestern twang thang was very good attention to detail. I liked that a lot. I liked the way she was dressed, too. She looked good in a pair of jeans, and the sweater matched her perfectly. I like that color blue, but I guess you already know that. Her apartment was a nice set for all of this, and I wonder where you got it. See? That’s the whole issue right there. You borrow so much from the outside world and I start wondering where everything else came from. You really distract from your own craft by getting ideas from the movie world so much. Oh, so now it’s my fault for watching television late night instead of writing or reading a book? That’s isn’t going to get it and you know it, too.

So where did the apartment come from? I liked the windows. They were open wide and gave a sense of space. I liked her wind chimes. I liked the high ceilings, and I liked the way you were able to shift things around so much and still give me the sense I was in her apartment, still. You’ve always had a craft with scenery. The extras in the dream were pretty good too. I like the juxtaposition of photographers and snipers. Men in camouflage and military gear all wearing camera equipment was just plain good planning. To have them scaling utility poles and the sides of building made for interesting viewing, certainly. The way I could feel the air pressure change deep inside when the helicopter came through was masterful. I wish you would have given the woman a name though, but I guess I’m lucky you didn’t. I kinda miss her, you know. She was very kind to me, and she was sweet, as well as pretty. She had a good sensible and very human smile. I’d like to think you came up with that yourself. I hope you did.

 Anyway, the idea of a heart transplant patient being hounded by the press was pretty good, all in all. It would make a good made for television movie, but I don’t think it would make it to the big screen. You might want to think about going back to flying, or sex dreams, remember I liked sex dreams, or something like that. Water dreams are good; I like those too. We haven’t had a fallen from high place dream in a while, but that’s fine, I don’t mind, really.

But if you are going to have Angelina Jolie in a dream with me, don’t make her the organ donor for a heart transplant recipient.

Sleep Well,

Mike