Pedestrian

Flowing in rivers,

oblique, crabwise and askance,

passing in crosswalks,

a terse kiss at the delta

among these oceans of soul.

Comments: 14

TK Rosevear Nov 20, 2007, 9:54pm EST

Absolute beauty ;)

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Atticus *. Nov 20, 2007, 11:05pm EST

Thanks TK

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Tom C. Nov 20, 2007, 11:46pm EST

Atticus - As I sat in the orthopedist's waiting room today, one of my student's came in, and (I'm quite sure he saw me) proceeded to act as if he didn't see me, and then sit around the corner. It got me thinking about the bubble of conscious world we all push around, and whether or not they overlap, or force each other aside...just some weird thoughts. I feel the same sort of conceptualization here, oceans of soul passing and interacting at every conceivable angle. Very moving writing.

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Granny Janny H. Nov 21, 2007, 12:48am EST

I'm thinking existentialism and stream of conciousness in the stream of life...Camus. Please add the tags "weekly muse" and a word to indicate your muse in the tags (as per the group description) so that I can accept this in The Poet's Weekly Muse.

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Mariana T. Nov 21, 2007, 12:50am EST

Jan - I love your comment - and if you don't mind, let me ditto that - it's really a wonderful poem. Salud.

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Debbie G. Nov 21, 2007, 1:33am EST

Conjures images for me of people on a busy sidewalk side stepping and avoiding each others eyes.
I love it Atticus.

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Jim Ross Nov 21, 2007, 10:05am EST

Hi Atticus--

Loved your tanka. The power of the great movement of "I" is palpable. It reminded me of something I memorized a long time ago--

"How close the next grain of sand! What purpose these shifting deserts, these particles of one?" --Unknown

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Atticus *. Nov 21, 2007, 9:54pm EST

Tom, Jan, Mariana, Debbie and Jim. Thank you all so much, my friends. Your comments reflect very much what I was talking about; the thin veneer, the grand illusion. I think about this on holidays and often in crowds. I chose the title "Pedestrian" to illustrate the slowness with which we grasp our universal connection and the clumsy spectrum of how we relate. (It's also as a self deprecating inside joke about my skill as a poet) The root of compassion is the realization of this connection, like the waters of the earth, we flow together and we flow apart, but we are the same substance.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

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Edward Nudelman Nov 21, 2007, 10:20pm EST

great tanka, Atticus. "Terse kiss," does two things. First, it pivots the tanka around a wonderful sound byte, and second, it focuses an intimate interaction at the crossroads of brevity and insignifcance. Some great contradictions expressed here.

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Atticus *. Nov 21, 2007, 10:55pm EST

Thanks Ed. I played with a number of phrases but none got across the idea as well. I appreciate your notice of this.

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amarpreet k. Nov 25, 2007, 11:11pm EST

thats a wonderful tanka

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John Harris Beck Nov 26, 2007, 2:33pm EST

Great concise accurate surprising vision!

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Ron (in complete sheeple overload) W. Dec 9, 2007, 12:28pm EST

On a mission, can't talk now, Trying to give fifty points (at least) to all my connections for Christmas, or whatever:

Ten unsolicited points from the world's worst connection. Merry whatever you celebrate!

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J W. Dec 14, 2007, 11:35am EST

good poem

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Comments: 14

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