A Brother's Tutelage

    An older brother is a...gift with no measure. Always wiser in the ways of life, guiding younger siblings along. One particular day frolicking barefoot in the grass I spotted a rather large centipede- oh, say about six inches long. It's black legs ratcheting it along with surprising speed. Convinced that centipedes would nest in my hair and eat into my brain- yes, rumors of Bob Marley's death did have a disturbing effect on me, I ran for the machete.

*** DISCLAIMER: Do NOT try this at home or anywhere else for that matter. ***

 Yes, there is my tiny five year old self with bobbing curls attempting to wield a blade about 1/3 my body length. After grabbing it with both hands and wacking the writhing black wiggler into nearly a dozen pieces with my patented samurai action I ran off to tell my brother. Yes, this is where I expected to get the respect and adoration of a job well done.

      After regaling him with my adventure, he mentions that if you cut a centipede into pieces each of the pieces becomes a new centipede- not unlike the ill-fated Sorcerer's Apprentice. Dashing off in horror I return to the scene of my previous victory. Quickly assessing the situation I retrieve what I'm positive will ensure the coup d'etat. The gasoline can for the lawnmower- yes, it was a Viking burial!