LOS ANGELES. The Los Angeles County Coroner's office today announced its preliminary finding that the death of Donda West, mother of rapper Kanye West, may not have been caused by George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States.
Donda and Kanye West
"While exposure to second-hand impressions of Bush on airport television monitors may be nauseating, direct contact is required in order for dosages to be toxic," said Paul Pratt, a spokesman for the coroner's office.
Saturday, November 10th: "I am currently in Texas with Andrea . . . uh, Angela Merkel, President of . . . uh . . . Austria."
The precise moment of Donda West's death in Los Angeles over the weekend has not been determined, but dated videos of Bush indicate that he was in Texas or Washington at all relevant times. "He's guilty until proven innocent," said Los Angeles County Assistant District Attorney Martha Turner, "but it looks like he's got a pretty good alibi."
Los Angeles Coliseum: Strangely empty on game day.
West, a hip-hop superstar, has lashed out at Bush before, blaming him for a slow response to Hurricane Katrina and the lack of a professional football team in Los Angeles. "Where was Bush when the Rams moved to St. Louis?" West said angrily to a group of reporters after his entourage showed up at the Los Angeles Coliseum earlier this year only to find the stands empty.
Dr. Jan Adams
While not yet willing to absolve Bush of guilt, sources close to the family say Dr. Jan Adams, Ms. West's plastic surgeon, may bear some responsibility for her tragic death. Adams has been hit with two malpractice judgments and is the subject of a number of pending suits, and the Medical Board of California filed legal papers in April to revoke or suspend his license following two arrests for driving while intoxicated. Despite his legal problems, Dr. Adams has hosted "Plastic Surgery: Before and After" on the Discovery Channel and "The Other Half", a male version of the ABC hit "The View". Adams insisted he did nothing wrong, and that Ms. West's death could have been caused by other medical problems. "I'm not a doctor," he said, "but I play one on TV."