The Hair Affair (PPOW)

Once upon a time extraordinaire, didst come a dashing laird debonair;
soon he was caught unaware when he heard a voice in despair.

"Please, oh fairies, it's so unfair!"
The laird crept as close as he dare
to see a fair maiden in high tower declare,
"If only there wasn't so much hair!"
A taira topped her majestic locks
airily flowing by the tower blocks.

Spying him, she cried, "Dear caird!
Be you a tramp, a vagrant, a baird?"
The laird gave his name, "I am Montclair,
oldest son of the house of Voltaire.
If I can assist you in this affair
point me only to the stair."

"Alas," she cried, "no stairwell to be found. In this tower I am fairy-bound."
"Miss, your hairweaving has done you fairly, I'll climb up your tresses to the lairy."

As he climbed she marveled at his flair
soon beside her he caressed her hair.
"Can I cut this, remove your frown?
and by your hair we'll both climb down."

Soon hairless and no longer encased,
outside the tower the two embraced.
The two married and opened a dairy
and never again was the lady hairy.

mmt/2007