Finding calmness

This joke was sent to me by e-mail, and it might not come out so hot because I'm not on a good computer at the moment and can't use the edit mode. It's not what I'd necessarily do to achieve inner peace, but maybe, just maybe, it will give you a laugh like it gave me anyway ; D

We all need some calmness in our lives.

 I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find calmness.

 Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

 So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.

 You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now. Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of calmness.