Your Granny's Nurse: The Home for the Holidays

**This piece was originally posted last year, but I have tweaked it a bit




Holidays in the nursing home can be a time of great joy, but YOU have to make it happen. No one wants to spend their holidays alone, with virtual strangers who are not their family.  Unfortunately, it is a necessity in many cases, when Granny is too ill or confused to bring home.

In many cases of Dementia, Granny will not wish to leave the nursing home, so do not take offense if she doesn't. Sometimes, the outside stimuli can be overwhelming to a confused person, and she feels secure in her own little space.  

Ideally, Granny CAN be brought home for the day. Sometimes an expense is involved, such as transportation, if she cannot ride in a car, or perhaps a nursing assistant to care for her while she is there.

Generally, ambulance/ambulette  services for a personal trip are not covered by insurance, nor Medicare/Medicaid. The round trip could cost anywhere from $100 to $500.

If a caregiver is a necessity, try asking the Nursing supervisor of the home if any of the staff wants to pick up some extra cash on the holiday, if they are not working already. Many nursing assistants these days are of faiths which do not celebrate traditional American  or Judeo-Christian holidays, so you might find a willing soul to help at a more reasonable rate than a nursing agency would charge. 

If you do "hire help", make them feel welcome in your home, and do not try to treat them as "hired help". They will be there to meet Granny's needs, not to wash your dishes.  It will make the experience more pleasant for Granny, as well as yourselves.

Most, although not all, Nursing homes strive to make the upcoming holidays as festive as possible, however, it is not home, nor will it ever be, to these folks. Most homes have traditional dinners, with all the trimmings on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, but what is missed most sorely at those meals is "Aunt Sue's Sweet Potatoes" or "Mommy's Fruit Salad."

In other words, those holiday traditions that make our holidays memorable. Most have parties for the residents as well, although I will never understand having a New Year's Eve party at 2:00 in the afternoon. 

If you cannot take Granny home for the day, please make sure you bring her a dish of her favorite home cooked treat, diet allowing.

Below is a list of things YOU can do to make  Granny's "home" for the holidays as lovely as possible:

- Your Presence is much more desired than your Presents. Visit her for a few hours. Ask her for her "famous ____ recipe" Reminisce about previous holiday seasons. I stress this mostly to the folks who have a Great Aunt Jenny or Uncle Joe in a home. Their kids may already visit frequently, but your presence can mean the world to a confined person.  

- Granny does not need another trinket to sit on her dresser. In most nursing homes, space is limited. Get her:

    A nightgown or robe (nothing she will trip over, please)
   
   
    Clothing (ask the staff for specialty stores that
    cater to the disabled, or incontinent, if necessary)
   
    Stationery and stamps (assuming she can read and write)
   
    Sweaters (old folks are cold year round)
  
    A magazine or newspaper subscription
   
    A fun "talking" stuffed critter to show off to the staff ( yes, we get tired of hearing them, but we won't show it, I promise.) 
   
    Homemade treats ( check to see if Granny is on a restricted diet first)
   
    A CD player and CD's of her favorite music
   
    A DVD player and DVD's (install them please, as medical personnel are not the best "techies")
   
    Take her to lunch at a favorite restaurant, or pick it up on the way, if taking her out is not possible
   
    YOU!!!! Spending time with your loved one is the most cherished gift you can give.
   
   
    A picture album or framed collage of family photos
   
    Treats for her to share with the staff (everyone will stop in to thank her for the plate of cookies/candy you brought) *remember, there are three shifts, try not to neglect the night shift
   
    Small decorations for her room or door, such as a tabletop tree or a door wreath.
   
    Cable TV- Most homes now have cable available for a small fee(cheaper than your home bill)
   
    A phone in her room (Most Nursing homes do not provide personal phones, except perhaps on thier short term stay units) Here in Ohio, the phone company has a program specific to "shut-ins", $15/month flat fee.
   
    For those of you without a loved one in a nursing home, you can help make the season brighter also.
 

   Nursing homes are always  in need of books and magazines, board games, DVDs, CDs, plates of goodies, sweaters, lap robes (small blankets for the lap), and your time. Volunteers are always appreciated.

Also, if you sing, dance, play an instrument, or write poetry, call the Activity director of a local home to inquire if you may perform at one of their activity programs. (I once worked in a home who had a delivery man who was also an "Elvis Impersonator"...albeit, "fat Elvis". He performed a few times a year, and those old ladies literally swooned at the sight of him, even though the staff had to stifle their laughter...You haven't lived till you've seen a 90 year old lady blushing to her bones! )   
   

Happy Holidays

     Donna aka Your Granny's Nurse