Girlfriends

I have often watched the movies, usually tearjerkers and romantics, where the girls get together once a year or so, to enjoy that deep friendship that survives all challenges.  I think many women have seen these movies, as I have, and wished that I could have such true, loyal friendships...  especially with other women.

As a woman, I have, so often, found it difficult to make, and even more difficult to maintain, those close friendships that I longed for.  I have no problem meeting men, and usually remain friends with them for years, but that never ceases to cause jealousy in my current relationship.  I have been so frustrated, as it seems that when I enter into an intimate relationship, it inevitably means giving up my friends, even if only for the few years that relationship lasts, then the friendships resume.  It's not fair to my friends, and definitely not fair to me.

I have been able to maintain friendships with women over the years, that I have met online.  It seems that these friendships are so much more based on our true personalities, and not all the pettiness that is so often associated with all women, jealousy, etc.  However, it was a bit depressing when my teenaged daughter would tease me about not having any "real-life" friends.

Fortunately, through a miracle, I am now a part of a group of "true friends".  We only met a few months ago, but our bond is one, where we know it will last a lifetime.  We have all felt that hole in our lives, that terrible feeling of lonliness, and therefore are that much more grateful for our shared love and support.

It all started when I moved into this apartment complex a year and a half ago.  I knew absolutely noone in this town, with the exception of my ex-husband and his wife.  Pretty depressing! lol  Well, it wasn't long before I met James, my fiancee, when my car was having problems.  Again, it's always easy to find male friends...  who is going to stop and offer to help or just talk to a tall blond female?  A guy, of course!  Well, when James and I got serious, I, again, had to quit emailing/calling my old guy friends.  He's an amazing man, but, unfortunately, that jealousy gene didn't skip his generation.

Anyway, I have a beautiful, almost eight year old, son.  He's quite the popular kid around here, with kids and adults.  One day, in the complex office, I met the guy who runs Bible Study for the kids.  I was pleased with the idea, and Bay started attending every week.  Around that time, Chad, the guy who runs the study for the kids, met and soon married Susan.  She and I met, thanks to Baylee deciding to stay and play with her son after Bible Study, not immediately returning home...  I was freaking out! lol  I, automatically, loved Susan.  She is serious, yet fun.  A bit quirky, where you just can't help but love being around her.  Susan and I sat and talked, and we both agreed we wanted to be friends, but she and I both suffer from depression and anxiety.  We both isolate when we're in our low moods.  Neither one of us had the courage to go talk to the other and start the ball rolling.

Well, a few months ago, Susan got tired of her depression and lonliness.  She decided to start a Bible study group for women, just some support, where we could get together and have that time with other adults...  other women.  It started out with three of us.  It is such a breath of fresh air for all of us (now five), who find our situations to be almost identical.  We meet every Monday evening, so it, not only gives us something to look forward to each week, it gives each of us some accountability.  We have it at my house, because of my extreme tendency to not answer the phone and just stay in bed when I'm in pain, getting more and more depressed.  Now, I know they're coming on Monday, so I get up and get myself ready.

In a few short months, this small group of women has changed my life.  I, finally, feel that I "belong".  We are there to support each other.  Our time together never ends at an hour, as we originally planned, as we enjoy each others' company so much that two or three hours have past before we realize it!  Each one of us has something to offer the group, and because of our similar experiences, we can offer each other that true compassion that we would be unable to find elsewhere.  We are growing together emotionally and spiritually.  We're all becoming stronger, as we see that we truly have, not only God to turn to, but also each other.  These friends make my life a more beautiful place.

If you have a hard time making friends...  take that first step to start a conversation with someone.  If you have kids, you can meet other parents at the PTA, ballgames, etc.  If you don't, go to Church, or even consider volunteering somewhere locally.  It may be difficult at first, but, I guarantee, it's worth it!