Not Again

I'm not sure about those online dating sites, maybe cancel your subscription and try and meet singles elsewhere, perhaps a local church or something. I am sorry to hear you're going through so much, don't give up, there is someone for everyone out there, sometimes it takes time to find the right one. Hugs

I don't know that I could ever handle something like eharmony. I am not thrilled being alone, but I get rejected enough in person. I think you are the only one that can know if this is something that is worth it to you or not. Keep your chin up, maybe things will get better.

I've never tried anything like that, so I have no useful advice for you.

Maybe give it a little longer.

Sorry about that, there is someone out there for you, you just have to be patient. I don't care for online dating anyway, I hope the right guy finds you.

Be blessed!

As much as it sucks to be "dumped", be thankful they didn't wait 3 or 6 months to tell you. They could of used you and then told you. Maybe you're already the lucky one.

Good Luck!

I'm sorry to here this, Lori. You probably better without them anyway. You have to look at it like this that God is protecting you. When the right person comes alone, you'll know it. As for cancelling your subscription, I'll leave that up to you. I hope you find your dream man, I really do.

I forgot to mention that I just don't trust on-line dating.

thanks Carolyn. I am not expecting a Tom , I just got into this eharmony thing because a good friend of mines sister met her husband there and they got married in August. I would try and get a refund but they said it was over for trial in 7 days and it has been longer. The membership is paid till jan. I did not know of any other way to meet people as I do not get out much, and would not know where to go. I have tried church and singles things and I do not do bars, etc. But twice in two days. I am really sad now. :I(

I'm a bit leary of on-line dating sites. I would try your local church, do some volunteer work, or get involved with some club at work. I wish you a lot of luck...it's really hard meeting the right person out there.

From a recent experience I have just had on Gather, Lora, there are a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing.... I don't know that I would trust the online thing.. it is much too easy for people to be dishonest about who they are and what they are after. Be very careful, don't trust too easily and be protective of yourself. Not everyone is who they say they are. You probably would have better luck at the grocery store for goodness sakes! I just don't trust any guy on the internet at this point after whats happened to me this week on Gather. Anyway, please just watch for your safety and know that there is definitely someone out there that is just for you and they are looking for you too. Just probably not on the internet. I say cancel your subscription and look in real places. Hugs!

I would not date online. I met my first husband that way and later found out he was a registered sex offender, had $50,000 in bad credit, and was sleeping with someone WHILE he was supposedly engaged to me! Ouch.

I met my current, wonderful, took in all 4 kids hubby in a bowling league. And I am a lousy bowler!

Well, hey, if you are paid up through January, make the most of it - just be careful and be wary of what the guys tell you :)

I'm afraid I'm not sold on internet dating services. I would much prefer meeting someone face to face. I guess if it were me, I'd stop looking and maybe just meet people to have fun. It seems to me that sometimes when we look too hard, we miss what is right there in front of us all the time. Life is funny, we have to like who we are before we can move on to successful relationships with anyone...man or woman...friend or lover. What I'm trying to say is just take it easy and accept each greeting as just that, be glad for the smile and be pleasant when they leave.....if they stay that will just be icing on the cake. Good luck and let us know what you decide to do! :-D

Lora ~ YOU start picking them, don't rely on the ones who pick you. Be selective yourself.
PAY IT FORWARD

I don't think you should give up yet. I think you should keep trying and see if you can find someone to hang in there online until you could possibly meet in person. Besides why would you want to be with someone who decides chemistry alone on Internet conversations?

I guess if it's paid until Jan, you might as well keep it, just don't pin your hopes on it. View it like the library or the grocery store or even here on Gather, where you might meet someone or you might not. It's when you stop looking that you find someone. Just get involved in things you're passionate about and you'll meet people that way. And remember, those jerks who feel no "chemistry" online are looking for pie in the sky. Nobody is going to make them happy. So I guess this means you're not nobody!

You all wrote some very good things here. I have read them all and am taking them into consideration. God Bless everyone.

I agree with Christine M. Since you have paid up until Jan.. use the service but don't expect something will happen. Relax.. if anything, use the time as practise. Finding someone will be a surprise when you least expect it.

There are many negatives about trying to communicate on the internet, such as not seeing expressions, if exchanging pictures (who is to say it is the real person?), or if the person is being deceptive. But face to face encounters can be said of the same, who knows if the person is being honest (they could be married, in debt, a criminal .. etc.). The only plus to face to face is you get to see their face.

The internet, if used properly, can open up new choices.. finding someone with similar interests. Do things in stages... make the connection in what you have in common, and be a friend first.

Just my two cents...

It took me forever to find my husband. Just don't give up. He is out there.

I met my hubby online, however, not on any dating site. It was an old program called ICQ. I opened my profile up to the public, course, I had a few weirdos, but they were easy to weed out. Then one night, I heard a "Hello" and my Cajun angel appeared. I wasn't looking for a relationship, just friends as I love chatting with people from other countries. Is Arkansas foreign? LOL! After a few months of online chatting we eventually exchanged phone numbers and the first time I heard his Texan accent I was a goner...hahaha!

Do you have kids? Maybe they don't want kids. But Eharmony is suppose to screen everyone and they would know that about you right? How does it work. YOu chat etc and then decide whether to go out? Do you get a photo of the person? Or a video? A video is so much better. Have you ever known someone who looked wonderful but when they opened their mouth it ruined the whole thing? Not referring to you at all....just trying to understand how this site works. I tried internet dating when I was young and nothing ever came of it. When I was 48, I ran a personal ad and my husband responded to it.....LOL.....My now husband.....We have been married for 12 years. So do not give up the ghost....The main thing is to never meet until you are done a lot of talking on the phone....then meet in public places......for awhile......and so forth. Take is very slowly.

I think you may find true love in a time and place where you least expect it. Just keep your eyes and heart open to the possibility.

Oh...forgot to tell you...I met my husband when he came over to build a storage shed. Marrying again was the farthest thing from my mind. The phone man had to tell me the guy was in love. Apparently, it doesn't take three months to build one! I just thought he was slow.

After we married...he built a 10 x 24 deck in less than two weeks.

We've been together now 18 1/2 years!

Be patient, and don't take it out on yourself,
the right guy will come faward when you least expect it.

I met my husband online. That was before we had things like eHarmony, discussion lists, or readily available email. We had to call into a bulletin board one at a time and leave messages for each other. I found it gave me a much better opportunity to show the "me" inside. He would never have looked at me twice if he'd met me in person before he knew the real me.

As for being dumped, I'd say, "That's fine!" Don't take it personally. People start talking to 3 or 4 people at a time, and winnow it down to the most interesting. Most of the time that means "most likely to put out." You don't really want those people, anyway.

Some people do better in person than in written form. I'm the other way around.

I would suggest stop *looking* and start seizing opportunities. Pay attention to how people talk to you. I've known women who didn't realize when a nice guy was nibbling. They were too nice to be blatant, and the women just didn't pick up on it! Be available, but don't try to be something you aren't. I know that places like eHarmony are supposed to cut out some of the chaff, but it doesn't seem like it really works that way.

I HATED eharmony - I never got a match that actually led to a date. I really felt like their ads are misleading. I did meet my husband through Yahoo Personals - each on our last day of our subscription!

I know of several people who have met through the internet and married. Just because two people dumped you is no way reason to get rid of your subscription. It took me 20 some years to meet my current husband. Dating online is not instant just like in real life it isn't. It takes time. Just be glad they have dumped you early on instead investing alot of time in to the relationship. Just pick yourself up and try again. easy said than done I know. But you have to remember alot of people on these dating sites are just in it to have sex.. Nothing more...it could be these guys cause. Or they were looking for something different.

Even though I don't do the online dating, I would still hang in there. Love and trust take years to build and the others are probably right; You're better off without them.

I wouldn't take it so personally. If they didn't even give it a chance to at least get to know you they probably weren't worth your time! Hang in there...

You will meet the right guy when it is time.