Some clean jokes

I enjoyed these and hope others will. I received these in my email.

A young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small exam room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked at his patient and said, "Miss, it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."  

I’ve heard this one before, but think it worth posting.

10. You decide to re-organize your family into a "team- based organization."

9. You refer to dating as test marketing.

8. You can spell "paradigm."

7. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

5. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

4. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

3. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."

2. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people."

And the number 1 sign you've been in corporate America too long...

1. You use the term "value-added" without laughing.   

A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented: "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I know. I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."