Warning! This review is going to give away parts of the movie and ruin it when you read that it's sad when they all die at the end of the movie just before the sun came up and rescue was at hand.
I haven’t been to a Vampire Movie in ages. The last one I ventured out to see was the wreck of the Anne Rice novel whose name I will not utter aloud it was bastardized so horribly.
Vampire Movies, like all horror movies, require that you suspend belief before the movie begins. A normal movie answers all the questions but a Vampire Movie doesn’t have time. There is the checklist to attend to!
Scary looking Vampires? Check!
Hunted humans? Check!
Lots of blood? Check!
Humans fighting back? Check!
Okay, it’s a short checklist but it’s a Vampire movie.
The scene opens in Barrow Alaska where all but about 152 of the 600 or so people are leaving because of the impending darkness. According to the movie, each year there is one month of total darkness in Barrow. I’ll have to check on this, but I’m not certain it’s right.
There are also some other WTF moments.
The local sheriff, who is also the movie’s hero, discovers a large pile of cell phones that have been burned. WTF?
Sled dogs are murdered! WTF?
The only helicopter in town is destroyed, even though we never see it. WTF?
Now, I’ve lived in a town with less than 600 people and I can tell you for a fact that a stranger sticks out like a neon sign which reads, “HI! MY NAME IS DRACULA!” But you have to let all that go, man, really, because it’s a Vampire Movie.
The Hero/Sheriff, whose ex-wife, the cute blonde love interest packing heat and dimples, has joined the fray, arrests the One True Stranger and he hints darkly that something bad is going to happen, other than a Vampire Movie. Locals begin to get snatched and the Vampires attack the necks of their victims like a lesbian on meth giving oral sex. True, I’ve never witnessed such an event, but this is a review of a Vampire Movie, and you just have to let that go, too.
It’s not long before the people of Barrow Alaska find Vampires running amok. For some weird reason or another there seems to be just a few vampires in the beginning, then dozens of them, then just a few, then dozens, depending on what scene is being shot. The Vampires evidently borrowed the Lord Of The Rings soundtrack and they all make the same noise as the creature that the Nazgul was riding, and they do this far to loud and far too often. The Vampire High Priest, or whatever you call the Vampire in charge of the other suckers, mentions that the victims are to be beheaded so they won’t become vampires, too. Ah! So that’s how they have to be killed! We wondered.
The Sheriff, his cutie, and a handful of survivors then ride out the rest of the month, with WTF moments popping up like so many undead bloodsuckers. All in all, I have to give the movie an A. Why? Because it’s a Vampire Movie. It’s suppose to be like this. It’s a slightly campy horror flick with as many holes in it as the people being attacked by the vampires, but let’s face it, are you really going to a Vampire Movie with expectations high? It sucks. It really sucks, but it’s a Vampire Movie.
Take Care & Bluh! Bluh! Bluh!