at the mall

We live near the largest shopping mall in Switzerland,

well, it is a sort of a joke when you compare it to shopping malls in Canada where my sister lives, Eaton center can eat this mall and have some place for more..

I like shopping here because you never know what you might find in the supermarket, new products, always someone promoting a new product to try out.

 Today it is coffee!! i bought this last time the lady was around, but she doesn't remember  ..i ask some questions, like ; "Is this swiss coffee?"

 The lady is well informed, yes , in a way it is , i mean the beans of course come from south America but they are processed right here in Switzerland, in the French part, some 1,000 meters above sea level.

 I ask for lots of milk and no sugar and dip a chocolate in it.. this is my first coffee in about two weeks as i am trying to quit.

I feel the energy flowing, feeling terribly unhealthy and wondering what Jane Fonda who speaks against coffee in her book "Life after 50" would say..

It's funny to remember giving the book to my mother on her 5oth birthday and finding it there on the shelf untouched after all those years  gathering dust, so i took it with me, and sent my mother coffee instead, coffee she would never drink herself as she never switches brand, not even for a semi swiss one.

I see a familiar face then another, 

last summer i met this man in the supermarket near my house, he had the loudest child i have ever heard and i happen to have three loud children myself.

I was impressed with the set of lungs that boy had, he was a toddler screaming his head off in the cereal section for no apparent reason, as his father stood calm and softly spoke to him ..

I had to go out of my way and congradulate the man, i know i would never be able to keep my calm like that, i would always give in buy that chocolate egg surprise whatever just to have my peace and quiet and keep the people's eyes off my back ..

Later on i met the man while walking the dog, he was always with his small son, watching him bike, and always gentle as a lamb.

I was impressed!

The man told me he was from New York , of Indian origin and we spoke at great length about New York , the big apple and life in switzerland, the small chestnut.

He was separated from his wife and had two boys, the older with the wife . He took care of the younger child.

He described a beautiful blond woman, spoiled but that would not go without, he would leave her the home in the mountains, anything her little heart  desired, he took care of his family and the mother of his children, he declared  in pride.

The man said he baked his own bread, and the conversation continued every day, revealing God's gift to women, a man that is patient, bakes, is spiritual, what a wonderful friend, i thought to myself..

I would see the man while walking the dog, always with his child, sometimes i would have a child too, dragged to walk the dog with me rather than stay in and watch t.v. or play computer games.

One day i met the man moving his things, he was moving to the other side of the lake.

About a week later i met the boy who was screaming in the supermarket with a woman, i assumed his mother..he was quiet then. she was not a beautiful blond , but that was not the only detail that was not true in the man's tales of a rich  swiss life.

I told her i had seen the boy with his father and introduced myself, hello , single mom  to single mom.

We exchanged telephone numbers

The next time i saw the woman she confessed her husband had been violent and had sat four days in jail for trying to strangle her. He was also unemployed, she was too..that's why they moved back to switzerland, great social system..

yes, which i pay taxes to but do not benefit, nice to know i am supporting all these needy  people .. 

No wonder that boy screamed!

Having had experience with domestic violence though my husband never sat in jail for it, i thought we would be a good match.

We were both busy and never met for the coffee we planned to have together..

Yesterday after having sampled the swiss coffee,( not bad by the way but anything would taste good after  having gone without coffee..) i ran into my supermarket buddy, the father, and then the mother and the children, all shopping silently .

"YOu are a fine exemple for a divorced family"i declared, saying that if my husband in separation had been there (attached to his girlfriend) there would be knives flying in midair.

The two only nodded politely and proceeded to pay together as the children walked along like small elephants in a herd.

I waved bravely as i tried not to scream , "not fair!" wondering why we could not get our act together, why i had to be a genuine single mom amongst all those out there faking it..

I , genuine single parent, carried four bags of groceries , straw for the rabbits, to the bus, and thought about the family car driving another  single mom across  town, the one that has attached herself to the father of my children after i unattached myself to him..

I think there should be a code of honor amongst single moms

You can be honored with the title "Single mom" only if you have to do your own shopping alone, pay your own bills, and leave your children at home so you can shop in peace...

by the way the coffee was great!