What is the Difference Between Grieving, Depression, and Self-Pity?
What is the difference between prolonged grieving, depression and self-pity? In conversation, I often here someone mention that a third party is "only having self-pity" when they talk about a certain personal subject matter. A lot of times when I hear this, it's about a person that I thought might still be depressed about their childhood or grieving over the death of a loved one or break up with a lover. So I've always wondered what other people have meant by "self-pity".
GRIEF DEFINITIONS
1. Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow;
painful regret.
2. a cause or occasion of keen distress or sorrow.
<cite>Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)</cite> - Cite This Source - <cite>Share This</cite>
DEPRESSION DEFINITIONS
1. to make sad or gloomy; lower in spirits; deject; dispirit.
2. to lower in force, vigor, activity, etc.; weaken; make dull.
<cite>Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)</cite> - Cite This Source - <cite>Share This</cite>
SELF-PITY DEFINITIONS
1. A feeling of sorrow (often self-indulgent) over your own sufferings
<cite>WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University</cite>
2. Pity for oneself, especially exaggerated or self-indulgent pity
<cite>The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition</cite>
<cite>Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.</cite>
<cite>Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.</cite>
MY THOUGHTS -
Grieving over a loved one has stages and "typically" a time reference in going through them. That isn't to say that for some it lasts a life time. I don't believe any of us could make a judgment on another's grieving process and state whether it was "right or wrong". Each of us goes through the process in our own time.
Depression is a known, documented mental illness. From personal experience, I can say that in a depressed state, one does not even need an "event" to put us in that state of mind. Rather, it is akin to a black hole that you can't escape - a disconnection from reality as MOST people don't live their lives totally despondent to the "outside world" - key in this definition. The depressed person "disconnects".
For me, self-pity is when a person predominantly obsesses or talks incessantly about their own personal sufferings. Naturally people will want to let others know "where they're coming from", usually during the early stages of a relationship. Self-pity to me is when the world revolves around that person and their life scenario with long soliloquies and constant reminders of how terrible their life has been. Self-pity is especially detrimental when it takes over the person's life to the point that they are not able to take care of those they are responsible for, such as children, spouses, parents, etc.
I believe, also, that a person can be going through two or three of these processes at the same time.
How do you interpret the three?
recommend this
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 39
Thanks for your insightful article!
This is an amazing question to pose - defining these issues are half the battle to healing.
Grieving often involves more than loved ones, today - there are many who grieve for the loss of an addiction, even some grieve for the loss of material possessions. You are correct about the stages of grief. However, many choose to mask away the process of grieving with drugs (Rx), alcohol and irrational actions and behaviors - this is the way it comes back to bite you in the butt, or extend the 'normal' time-frame.
Depression, on a mental and emotional level is a feeling of hopelessness and more often than not, an anger one feels they don't have the right to have. When we don't take care of those issues, the physical body will follow suit and decline in its production of balancing glandular fluids, run mostly by the liver. Liver malfunction also causes depression.
Self-Pity, quite simply is choosing to be a victim, rather than participant in your own life.
I agree that you can experience all or one at a time...
Thanks for asking ;)
depression and grief to me are "uncontrolable" conditions or feelings we live with.
Depression and grief should be taken more seriously.
Unless someone has gone through depression themselves, I dont think they have a clue the pain that it causes.
Self pity is when they are selfish and get upset when things dont go the way they want them to.
Grief is a time of morning the death or loss of someone we love. It will pass in time.
Don't forget to check out yesterday's Top Five Photos, and please help me give them exposure by leaving a comment at their photos
&
Don't forget to check out yesterday's Top Five Articles, please congratulate each of them on their articles
Important note to Today's Top Photos & Article group members, If you have not done so already, please read the group update article by clicking here
As one who has suffered from depression for over 20 years and been on medication for same, you can not explain it unless you have experienced it! No one knows until they have traveled down that dark and lonely road.
"Good night, good night, sleep tight !"
One of the many things I realized when my 46 year old sister died (Kathleen) was that I woke up each day in psychical pain, the depression I felt, well I felt like a truck ran over me.
I never knew sadness could hurt so much.
I am more aware and compassionate about people with depression. Thank s for your article.