Got up this a.m. and thought about a nice coffee with Vanilla creamer, steaming and friendly, to start my day. Came over and booted up, ready to enjoy the minds and hearts of all here on this great site. Lo and behold, there it was, the first unfriendly and unkind words of the day greeted me. Really a downer, and I refuse to let it take hold of me, chart my mindset for the day, and create havoc in my mind.
A friend of mine here, placed a little informative article here, just info, and a gesture to assist those who were interested in the subject matter. This person was immediatly slammed, and all who were interested were deemed mentally challenged. It is all right to not like something, and fine to have a personal opinion, but out of respect for the gestures of those who put themselves out there for other's, what causes some of us to eend up straying into the "Oh! Man, I hate this and I want to let everyone know on a PERSONAL level, Maybe I can change them by intimidation, stamp out kindness, and ruin someone's day!" "I'm gonna get em' and I I'm gonna do it right now!"
I realize that writing anything is risky. You put down your word's and wait for your peers comments. But we are not supposed to be the "CHOSEN PUNCHING BAG OF THE DAY"! for anyone! Maybe content wiil upset one, but it IS content and NOt an actual person here. There is not a sign on my articles that says "VENT YOUR ANGER AND HATE HERE!"! "GET ME! GET ME! IAM HERE FOR YOU TO ATTACK PERSONALLY!"
Myself, I respect all my fellow member's, and notice I DO get a little rankled when someone attacks an author on a personal level,tspecailly if it is for an article that is meant to assist fellow members. I wonder if Life is so bad that we are losing skills> like respect, tact, finesse, and most of all the capability to respond without cyber abuse.
Perhaps the idea of being adult and responsible, and thinking of my fellow members ideas for an article, what made them put it out there BEFORE I comment, is childish all of the sudden? I do not feel anyone here is supposed to be in the position of getting told off for anything they do. Am I wrong? If on this site, we all cannot read and grow, be kind, and most of all considerate of another's PERSONAL offering, I wonder about hope for the "other world" we function in, "The Great Outside"!
I just would like to hear the opinions of all of you concerning this, and I am aware that there is allways going to be a few who do this to others, but what causes us to tolerate to the levels that we do? Here, where we are distanced, and WHOA! What about out in the world?
As you go thru today, asided from the kindness and respect and continued support you give your favorites, remember that the person you may be considering as a target to vent upon, in personal way, not related to the article, or vent on the audience who may read it, please be responsible, and know the person you are gonna attack is perhaps someone else's favorite, and be intelligent. This is intended for myself and all of us who really try to look for the best possible way to present an opposing view, without hurting or insulting anyone for thinking and exspessing themselves to the world. You know I enjoy all of you, whether I am interested in your article or not, I am interested in you all, and the way we have all been brought together. It is truly amazing. I think about that often.
In closing, I know this may be a tired subject, and maybe it is just my turn to write about it, but all of you are very valuable, very much worthy of my respect, and I hope in some small way, as I present my material, it reaches as many who read it, in a tiny way.. What a marvelous opportunity we have to say our piece, and then enjoy the many talented and intelligent people we are privvy to here, to be able to get to know them is outstanding, and it can be a pleasurable responsibility.
I hope if today was my turn to request we take care of each other that I did ok, and that the thoughts of mine behind this article are clear, if not, I am sure someone may let me know, in the meantime, I respect the opinions of others, and I really respect the time and effort they put into presenting the thoughts they wish to share, Thanks to all of you, for all you do. Blessings, and Have a Really Great Day, you all have a Great Start, You are all wonderful, and a pleasure to know. Ellen B
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Comments: 30
I'm sorry your day on gather started so bad.............
I'm glad you are here and HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!
"the first unfriendly and unkind words of the day greeted me. Really a downer, and I refuse to let it take hold of me, chart my mindset for the day, and create havoc in my mind."
If you're letting some unkind words, not even meant for YOU, wreck your day and "create havoc" in your mind then I suggest trying to find out why you let others dictate your feelings. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."
Unfortunately, too many people do not know how to disconnect the author from the idea. Attack the idea with opinions and facts - don't attack the person. What good does that do you, the attacker, anyways?
While having our parade, and getting to see the great support some members of society have for the sacrifice of our Military, I also saw the dark side, those who only had the intention of town noteriety on their minds. I found that despicable. UNEMOTIONALL and INSENSITIVE to our Military. This is one instance. IT is in all areas, just as you mentioned. Another example, a kind touch of a nurse, vs, just performance. Life is faceted, and I love that. Ellen B
Enjoy your time here on Gather. It's a great place!
I don't want to be a meanie. I just worry about people who are overly sensitive like I use to be. I've had to get a much thicker skin over the years to be able to function in this harsh world. But, I really try not to let anything on Gather get to me.
One person commented differently though. He said - "Being minimally expectatious sucks. We prefer being disappointed, if only because we don't want to assume everyone but us is a total dillhole. This is usually the truth, of course, but oh well."
It's true... You need to remain hopeful that the good people still do exist and that people are as considerate as you are, Ellen.... There are mean people. There are inconsiderate people. There are many people that attack people on here.... But... Giving up your expectations really does suck. And.... When you keep hoping, you will be pleasantly surprised - which far outweighs the disappointment that we usually feel.
somone has written, or posted, just move along to someone or something
else. Hope your day got better Ellen. God bless, rpw
I react in the moment, and I often react badly. I know I'm a jerk, and I don't really hide it well, mainly because as a jerk, I don't know how *chuckle*
I've never learned to use restraint, and I probably should. I am sorry if this article was prompted by me. Based on the time frame however, maybe it wasn't, but even so, I know I made a poorly thought out comment to you.
While I don't have the sensitivity to this issue you have, I completely understand from where you speak.
I'll be the first to admit that I don't suffer the uncivil with a great deal of tolerance. I'm fine with those who disagree with me and my article, or the with the author of an article we are both commenting on; but, get if they get nasty, I'll let them know right off it's not appreciated -- often in no uncertain terms. Does this mean I'm helping or hindering the goals you state here? Probably the latter, but I am who I am.
In any event, good article. I'll try to keep it in mind the next time I come acros wone of those ...... oh, you know what i mean.
Have a great day!