WINNING PRINCIPLES
By William Cottringer, Ph.D.
Our main challenge in life is to pass these seven tough tests:
PLANNING YOU LIFE
Winning and being successful in life requires us to live life from some sort of thoughtful plan. Such a plan can answer 5 questions we all have:
- Why am I here?
- What am I supposed to be doing?
- How do I know if I am doing it right?
- What’s in it for me?
- Where do I go when I need help?
GETTING THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE
What matters most is leaning in the direction of having a positive attitude about life. It is easy to get discouraged and negative when things go sideways; adversity is a real test of your character and your best response is to step up to the plate and hit a home run. Here’s the real value of such a viewpoint: Optimistic people live longer, are happier, make more money, have fewer physical complaints and stay married longer. Aren’t those the things that matter most?
TOPPLING THE TOWER OF BABEL I am sure you have noticed that we are way too wordy, that the volume and velocity of information is overwhelming and that good communication is a rare commodity. Since talking and writing are our main ways of dealing with each other, it does matter to fix our communication skills and topple down this Tower of Babel we have all helped create. Keep it simple though: Talk once and listen twice with both ears, and think about what you want to say, say what you mean, and say it clearly and simply. Then listen again.
BUILDING BETTER RELATIONSHIPS
One of the most difficult tests life throws at us is the challenge of how to have good relationships. Relationships offer many character-building lessons. Relationships are deteriorating today because we aren’t focusing on doing what matters most—doing the simple things that build good relationships like listening better, accepting more, giving, loving, including and being assertive when something offends your soul.
REPAIRING REALITIES
All throughout life we are confronted with realities we don’t like and feel compelled to change. But this can be frustrating until we learn the lesson of slowing down and rethinking our priority reversal habit—always starting out doing things bass-ackwards. Eventually we see the wisdom of things like fitting in first and then changing what we are fitting into, from inside out. It is easier and quicker and gets better results. This is a good start to reconciling all the “halves” of life that our dualistic minds have divided into this and that. You really can’t change something when you only see half the picture.
MANAGING TIME AND MONEY
These two things are life’s greatest challenges that result in the most failures. The solutions for both are quite simple. With time you switch from the conventional, mechanical-sequential perception, to a more fluid, psychological one and then stop doing what doesn’t matter and start doing what does matter most. With money, you can’t have more going out then coming in, you must honor the reverence of your job and give your best attention and effort to earn your pay at work, and follow the wisdom of giving more to get more.
FINDING SUCCESS
The best success clues are all hidden behind three doors: Successful thinking, passionate determination and social skills. Successful thinking is using your mind to do anything to help you get from where you are to where you want to be. You can get the best results by mixing logic, creativity and practical common sense, Passionate determination is doing what you like to do because it feels good to do it and keeping this all in sharp focus. Social skills are simple too. They are being likeable, communicating well and doing the few things that matter most in building good relationships.
William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Belleview, WA., along with being a Sport Psychologist, Business Success Coach, Photographer and Writer. He is author of several business and self-development books, including, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too (Executive Excellence), The Bow-Wow Secrets (Wisdom Tree), and Do What Matters Most and “P” Point Management (Atlantic Book Publishers). Bill can be reached for comments or questions at (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer@pssp.net
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Comments: 8
And maybe part of this perceived problem was aggrivated by the short word count I was requested to submit...no room for practical, concrete details, so lets zoom down on specific areas of concern or interest?
SUCCESS IS EASIER DONE THAN SAID
By
William Cottringer, Ph.D.
"People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results." ~Albert Einstein.
All the libraries of current success clues are making success harder said than done. We are all buried in the success overload and need to unload the overload and simplify. Let's chop some wood and get results right now. There are really only five questions you need to think about to become more successful.
1. What does the world need from me?
We are all born with unique talents to chop wood with. What are yours? The quicker you find out what these are special skills are and get busy developing and using them to help others, the more wood you will have. Ask others, figure out what you do most and enjoy doing most, and study the positive purpose of past situations that were uncomfortable. If all else fails go on-line and take a bunch of free tests to get these answers.
2. How can I do this better than anyone else?
The competition will never ever lighten up to give you an easy entry point into the game. The game has been going on a long time before you got here and will go on a lot longer after you leave. Everyone wants more wood and every minute someone is creating a new and better way to chop it quicker. You have to work harder, be more creative, trust your instincts, learn more, pay your dues in an apprenticeship, become compulsive, survive failures or all of these things plus something else not yet known. The best advice is to be under-confident and over-prepared.
3. Are there any legitimate shortcuts?
Translate this question into the ethical question it really is—Is it okay to use any means to justify the ends I want? No, because if you are successful by chance, you won't be authentically content, only partially satisfied and it won't last very long. Are three negative consequences enough to answer this question adequately? Success is what you get from what you do to get it. In this sense you have to become your own means to your own end—you have to be successful as a noun, adjective and verb all in one. There is no shortcut answer to this question about wood-chopping.
4. What is the best perspective I can have?
This is where you don't have to reinvent the wheel. There is enough compelling research that tells us what the best perspective to have is, leaving no doubts. People who are positive and optimistic in trusting that there is plenty of wood for everybody as well as plenty of ways to get it, usually get the most wood. And if you don't like the stack of wood you have, what do you think you need to do to repair that reality?
5. How will I know if I am successful?
I guess this depends upon how you personally define success and how well you answer these four other questions. Of course, it also depends on why you want to be successful—to impress others and have the most wood for others to envy or to satisfy a deep inner drive to get a stack that feels right for you and once you have it you'll know it. The first motive is extrinsic and usually short-lived and changeable; the second is intrinsic and can last a life time. Which is more preferable?
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Thank you for giving me so much to think , do and act upon. Finally have it put down into sections I can deal with, looking forward to more articles from you. i find you to be very fascinating, easy to understand, most importantly apply to my life, truly I thank you for all the help. you are a Blessing.