We all have friends or acquaintances. Some of them are the best people that ever walked the face of the Earth. You can tell them your most private secrets and dreams. I can discuss my most sensitive issue, my weight, with my closest friend. I know she understands me and most importantly, she respects my ideas without looking at my weight.
"Well," you might say, "all of my friends respect my ideas, and my weight is never the issue." You're very lucky. I'd like to talk about my "friend" Gloria. That's not her real name. I'm using Gloria to protect me from her wrath. To tell you the truth, I have lots of other names that I would rather call her, but Gloria will suffice for now.
I have known Gloria for years, but I must tell you, I now go out of my way to avoid this woman. If I see her walking down the street, I'll run into the nearest store hoping that she didn't see me. I'll cross the street, walk with my head lowered pretending to look for that penny that I lost last week. Anything. I'm getting pretty good at it by now. Why all the spy stuff? Because I just don't want to hear what she has to say. Pure and simple.
Gloria used to be overweight. I don't consider being 15 pounds over your "ideal" weight as terribly overweight, but she does. OK, whatever! She lost her excess weight about a year ago and Gloria is now on a crusade to "help other people who are in a bad situation about themselves." Her words, not mine. I've heard them more times than I care to mention. Every time I see her, Gloria has something to say to me.
"You know, Sharon, you really should try to lose your extra weight." Duh! Ya think? "I lost my extra 15 pounds over a year ago and I've kept it off." I know, I know, how many times do I have to hear this? I was happy for her the first fifty times I heard it, but now I'm sick of hearing it. "You know, Sharon, I'm just saying this because I care for you and I worry about you, and you have such a pretty face." Gloria should consider herself lucky that I don't start to pound on her "pretty face" after this almost daily speech.
We all have a Gloria in our life. The point that I am trying to make, is that Gloria is not my friend! Why does everyone feel that if you are overweight, they have to tell you that you should lose weight? We know that. Lord knows we've heard it enough times. Most of us are not in denial. Yeah, I should lose more weight, but it's easier said than done. Most thin people do not really understand that fact of life.
People need support to do difficult things in their life. In the case of weight loss, support could be one of many things that might make a real difference. It could come from many sources. It might be supplied by someone you could talk to or someone who will walk with you. Maybe a friend will go on a new eating plan with you so you both could have some company while dieting. And sometimes, real support comes from being left alone to figure it all out for yourself.
I'll tell you what support isn't. Support is not a "friend" saying that they are telling you to lose weight because they are concerned about you. Support is not being told that you have to lose weight because of your pretty face. Support is not being made fun of or called names because that "friend" is trying to shame you into losing weight. That is abuse!
When we are struggling with losing weight and trying to keep that weight off, the last thing we need is people preaching to us. Contrary to popular belief, most overweight people are fully aware that they should lose weight and have been trying to do so for many years. I know that I could teach Gloria a thing or two about weight loss and how to do it. Hey, I've lost over fifty pounds and kept it off for a while now. Just because I am not at a perfect weight yet does not mean that I don't know what to do.
I'm not impressed by former overweight people who feel that their method of losing weight is the best method. I know how to lose weight, it's the keeping it off part that is hard. We all know that fact. I was never thin and I really believe that my body tends naturally to be large. This is not an excuse, it is biology and genetics.
Abuse comes in all forms. Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. If you are trying to lose weight or to keep your new weight loss off, don't let anybody put you down. Don't fall for false concern. Do what is best for you. Lose weight and keep it off in as healthy a method as possible. And remember to look for positive support.