Chapter 1
Another curve twisted down and to the right. A green wall of ferns sprouted from the vertical rock on the inside of the turn, limiting Sam Stanley's view through the huge windshield to only a few feet of weathered asphalt. Through the driver side window, however, if he dared take his eyes off the road to look, he could see a long, long way. And it was all straight down. An earlier quick glance over the edge of the mountain road had been enough to convince Sam that the beauty of Oregon's majestic evergreen trees could be much better appreciated when viewed from ground level. There was something incredibly unnerving about looking down on the forest from high above, the distant pointed tips of the trees aimed straight up at you like sharp spikes in a giant's bed of nails.
As Sam guided the heavy recreational vehicle through the turn, he noticed how white his knuckles looked against the black grip of the steering wheel. No one had ever accused him of being a daredevil, but he could remember a time when this roller coaster drive would have seemed exciting, maybe even fun. But at the age of twenty-seven, and with a brand new family to look out for, that adolescent sense of immortality was long gone. The danger seemed real now.
"Aw jeez, what have we got ourselves into?" Sam whispered to himself.
While straightening the steering wheel to come out of the turn, he heard a soft giggle behind him. A quick look over his right shoulder brought a grin to his face in spite of his rattled nerves.
"What?"
Sam attempted an expression of surprised innocence, but the smile won out. He knew he had been caught. At least it was just Andy and not his wife, Lynn, who, he suspected, wasn't entirely joking when she chided him about his habit of talking to himself whenever he was worried about something. She had dozed off in the bucket seat beside Sam during the uneventful uphill part of the drive through the mountains.
Andy was securely strapped in behind his mother. His child's safety seat was mounted on a cushioned chair that faced sideways, providing him a view of the passing scenery through the large picture window on the left side of the vehicle. But right now, his oversized grayish blue eyes followed Sam's every move as if he were the most amusing thing the eighteen-month-old boy had ever seen. Sam seemed to always have that effect on his little stepson.
"All right, you caught me," Sam whispered. "But don't tell Mom, okay?"
He looked back again and smiled at Andy's big contagious grin before returning his full attention to the road, which now straightened briefly as it followed the contours of the mountainside.
"And just what would he tell me?" Lynn asked without opening her eyes.
"Ah, never mind. It was just boy talk."
He chanced a quick glance in her direction.
"Nice nap?"
"Hmmm...." Lynn stretched and yawned.
"You know, you're missing all the fun. If this damn goat trail gets any narrower, we'll have to all get out and walk single file. Your, uh, friend that suggested this route did say that an RV could make it all the way to the coast, right? There's sure no room to turn this monster around."
The bucket seat made a ratcheting sound as Lynn raised it from the reclining position. Once upright, she got her first look out the windshield. Her drowsy smile quickly faded and her hand instinctively double-checked that the seat belt strap was firmly stretched across her shoulder. When Lynn had last seen the road, it had been wide enough for two vehicles to easily pass and much better maintained than this narrow shelf that had been hacked out of the mountainside. More disturbing was the fact that there were no longer any guardrails between them and the sheer drop to the valley floor far below. The asphalt sagged frighteningly in places along the unprotected edge due to the pull of gravity and the occasional weight of vehicles.
"He said that a medium size RV should be okay." Lynn spoke in a hushed voice, apparently afraid that a loud sound might somehow make things worse. "Isn't that what this thing is?"
"Yeah. Seems awfully big right now, but it's only a class "C". Smallest RV the rental place handles. I don't think they let people under sixty-five drive those big forty-foot buses. Some sort of senior citizen rights thing, I guess."
Sam grinned at his little attempt at a joke, but kept his eyes on the road ahead. There was no need to mention that renting the twenty-five foot long camper had stretched their vacation budget to the limit. This trip was easily the most extravagant thing Sam had ever done. But this was special. He and the former Lynn Hazleton had been married almost two weeks earlier. Immediately after the ceremony, they had flown from their hometown of Austin, Texas to San Francisco, where they rented the fully stocked RV for the trip up through northern California and into Oregon. Camping in parks along the way was cheaper and a whole lot more fun than staying in motels. But the amazing quantities of expensive California gasoline consumed by the RV, along with the airline tickets and rental fees already denting Sam's credit card limit, guaranteed that they would be paying for this trip for quite a while after returning home.
The honeymoon vacation was actually almost over. They had camped the last couple of nights at Valley of the Rogue State Park and were now heading west from the tiny town of Galice toward Oregon's Pacific coast. There they would turn south to begin the return leg of the trip back to California. This mountain route, which had been enthusiastically recommended by some friend of Lynn's, trekked over sixty miles through the scenic and uninhabited Coast Range Wilderness of southwestern Oregon. Logging trucks use the road to haul timber from the depths of the forest. Even during the peak of the summer tourist season, only the more adventurous visitors to the area would traverse it. But it was now only the second week of June. The forest overflowed with vivid green vegetation and they had even spotted a small black bear along the way. But Sam and Lynn had not seen a single other vehicle on the road since beginning the climb over the mountain range.
"What's that awful smell?" Lynn wrinkled her nose. "Kind of like melted plastic. Is something burning?" She sniffed and twisted around in her seat to check on her son and the interior of the camper.
"No. I'm afraid that's the disc brakes you smell. They're getting pretty hot. I'm trying to go easy on the pedal, but it's been all down hill for quite a while. Can't take my foot off the brake for even a second."
"Didn't that little pamphlet that they gave us say something about using the gears somehow on steep roads?"
"Yeah, I've got the transmission locked in second gear. That helped slow us down a little. But the brakes feel like they're actually starting to fade. Maybe I should put it all the way down into first gear, just barely creep along."
"Creeping is okay with me." Lynn nodded, her eyes glued to the point up ahead where the road disappeared behind an outcropping of rock.
The long white camper started into that next downward spiral to the right. Keeping a firm grip on the steering wheel with his left hand, Sam took his eyes off the road just long enough to glance down at the transmission gear indicator on the steering column. He eased the shift lever up until the little arrow pointed to the lowest gear.
The engine revved and Lynn screamed.
Sam's head popped up to look toward his wife in the passenger seat. He immediately followed her terrified eyes back to the road ahead, but not soon enough to clearly focus on the dark gray object before it disappeared under the cab of the RV.
All that registered during that brief glimpse was that the thing was long and that it angled almost completely across the road, leaving only a narrow strip of clear asphalt near the left shoulder. Seeing this, the reflex reaction of most drivers might have been to jerk the wheel in that direction, steering away from the obstacle in the road, and directly off the sheer cliff. But with no time to react in any way, Sam could only grip the steering wheel with both hands and hold on.
The front cab of the camper lurched violently up and down, followed within a second by the long rear dining and sleeping areas. Safety belts did their job; no one came flying out of their seat. But they were strapped to an eleven thousand pound bucking bronco. Each jarring bounce was accompanied by a loud bang as the contents of the cabinets and drawers inside the RV became briefly airborne and then crashed back down.
The rebounding front tires were still turned sharply into the right curve. As they regained traction, the top-heavy camper teetered precariously to the left. Sam straightened the front wheels to prevent a rollover. And for one horribly long second, he steered directly toward the hazy blue sky beyond the edge of the road.
That big empty view almost completely filled the windshield by the time Sam felt most of the weight of the vehicle finally rock back onto the tires. He immediately spun the steering wheel to the right again as far as it would go, trying desperately to follow the downhill curve of the road. That was the only direction that did not lead out into empty space. The tires squealed and the front grill of the truck gradually aimed away from the abyss, but then continued too far to the right. The front fender on that side plowed into the green wall on the inside of the curve. Clods of dirt and dislodged stones bounced off the short hood of the RV and banged against the windshield. Sam ducked his head but continued to hold the steering wheel all the way to the right until the crunching friction of the fender against the mountainside finally brought everything to a stop.
Sam slowly raised his head. Outside the RV, a cloud of dust rolled past the windshield in absolute silence. Inside, there wasn't even the sound of breathing. Sam looked around the interior of the camper and then slowly exhaled his held breath, relieved to see that the RV's engine had been the only thing to die in the mishap.
Without a word, Lynn released her shoulder strap and scrambled out of her seat and into the back of the camper to check on the baby, who was sitting very still and upright in the safety seat. His little round face was frozen in an expression of utter surprise. Andy had apparently not yet decided whether he was supposed to cry in terror or laugh out loud at the wild roller coaster ride. The fear he saw in his mother's eyes decided the issue for him. He suddenly ended the silence with a gasp, followed by an ear-splitting wail and an instant flow of tears. Lynn quickly determined that he was not physically injured and held him until he stopped crying.
Sam twisted around in the driver's seat and watched them for a moment.
"He okay?"
"Yeah, I think so. It just scared him."
"Well, he wasn't alone in that."
Lynn leaned her head against Andy's and managed a smile.
"Whew," Sam sighed. "Just what the hell was that back there?"
"A rug, I think." Lynn shrugged her free shoulder. "At least that's what it looked like to me. A long, fat roll of carpeting."
Sam nodded. That seemed to fit with his brief glimpse of the object that had almost killed them all.
"Must have fallen off the back of a truck," he said. "Hard to believe the driver wouldn't notice, though, big as it was. Anyway, it couldn't have ended up in a worse place."
"No kidding. I thought for sure we were going over the edge, Sam"
"Me too. It all happened so fast. I really couldn't say how we managed to land down here."
Sam put the shifter in park and stomped down on the emergency brake as hard as he could.
"If you two are okay, I guess I'd better go see how bad the damage is. Hope we can still drive this thing. We've got to get down from here."
Sam opened his door and stepped down onto the road. Walking around the front of the RV, he noticed that the right headlight seemed to be aimed slightly off to the left, but was amazingly still intact. The right fender, still pressed against the mountainside, was badly scratched and dented. Sam squatted down and looked underneath. He was relieved to see that the front tire remained inflated. And, as far as he could tell, the mangled metal of the fender did not press up against the rubber anywhere. Sam walked back around and stuck his head in the open driver's side window.
"Gonna need some body work, but I think we can go on."
"The people at the rental place aren't going to be too happy," Lynn said.
"I don't see how they could say it was our fault. We didn't put that thing in the road. And I did purchase the additional coverage on the insurance. We'll call them when we get close enough to civilization for the cell phone to work. We're going to need a police report, too. The insurance requires it. Maybe the RV people can tell us what police department covers this area."
"Before we go, shouldn't we at least get that thing out of the road so no one else will hit it?"
"Yeah, you're right," Sam said. "I'll go see if I can roll it to the side."
Sam headed up the sloping road. In the middle of the curve he came to the parallel black skid marks made by the locked up wheels of the RV. It gave his stomach a turn to see how close the tracks came to the precipice before angling away from the edge. He continued on up the incline and eventually came to the point where the curve began. Sam stopped and looked up and down the road. This was the spot. It had to be. But there was no sign of a rolled up carpet, or any other obstacle. The narrow road was now completely clear and no more dangerous than it normally was.
He turned toward the downhill side of the road. Could the carpet have fallen over the edge after they had run over it? He thought that it was a considerable distance to roll, but then, where else could it have gone? Sam took a few cautious steps toward the precipice, but stopped before getting close enough to look straight down the mountainside.
He was still trying to convince himself that there was no real danger in taking one more step forward when he heard an odd sound. He did a quick about-face and stood looking toward a point farther uphill where the road straightened out for a short distance. There was a dense stand of trees along one side of that section of the road. The sound might have come from up there somewhere. But it was so brief and seemed so out of place that he thought it could just as easily have originated in his imagination. He stood still and listened for more than a minute, but heard only the steady hiss of the mountain breeze through pine needles. The wet, bubbly sound, which had oddly reminded him of someone gargling with mouthwash, did not repeat.
The most likely source for such a weird sound out here in the middle of nowhere, Sam figured, was some kind of animal. At the moment he felt no pressing need to find out what kind. He turned and walked briskly back downhill toward the RV, all the way fighting the urge to look back over his shoulder to try to catch a glimpse of whatever was watching.
***
The pink granite dome of the state capitol building whizzed by on the left as Sam's Explorer sped north on I-35 past the downtown section of Austin, Texas. The SUV felt as nimble as a sports car compared to the boxy camper that he had been driving for the past two weeks. After the near disaster on the mountain road, the remainder of the vacation trip had gone well. They had been able to continue on in the damaged vehicle without any further problems.
To fulfill the requirements for the insurance, Sam had reported the accident to the Oregon State Patrol in the little town of Gold Beach. And the slightly bent-up RV was now safely back with the rental company in San Francisco. The employee who inspected the vehicle had seemed very understanding about the accident and had assured Sam that insurance would pay for the repairs to the vehicle with no extra charges.
Sam was now feeling pretty good about everything as he drove from Bergstrom International Airport toward their home in northwest Austin. Other than that one close call, the honeymoon trip had been a great success. To Sam it was the first step in starting his new life as a family man. That was still a strange new concept to him; he had never even come close to getting married before. But after spending their first two weeks together, fulltime, this little family was feeling right to him.
Sam and Lynn were each lost in such thoughts as they turned off Parmer Lane and entered the north Austin subdivision that was to become their neighborhood. They had closed the deal on a small two-story house only days before the wedding. Considering the current housing market in Austin, Sam felt lucky to have been able to find a six-year-old house that he could afford.
The formidable task of moving all their combined possessions into the house had been completed only one day before leaving town. Tonight would be the couple's first night to actually sleep there. Sam was silently debating whether or not it was too late to offer to carry his bride across the threshold. The actual first time they came through the front door of the house together, both had been carrying heavy moving boxes. Sam looked over and found Lynn watching his face and smiling, as if reading his thoughts.
"This is a great time, isn't it, Sam?" she said. "Like a new start for all of us. I've honestly never been happier."
"Same here." Sam looked back to the road with a smile of his own. "I think when we walk through that door it's going to feel like we've really come home."
Sam slowed the Explorer to check a street sign.
"Isn't our street the next one after this?"
"Yeah," Lynn said. "You need to take the next right that you come to."
As they rounded that corner Sam pointed a finger toward the second house on the left and said, "I swear, that house looks just like it. Popular floor plan, I guess. But I remember our place being more toward the middle of the block."
"Right." Lynn pointed forward through the windshield. "I'm pretty sure it's the one up ahead with the police car in the driveway."
"Police car?"
Sam pulled onto the short concrete driveway leading up to their garage and parked next to the black and white squad car. The shield on the door read Texas Department of Public Safety. As the Explorer came to a stop the driver's side door of the police cruiser opened and a tall man in a perfectly pressed tan uniform emerged. He smiled at them across the roof of the car as he put on a white western style hat, and then walked around to Sam's car window. As soon as the glass was lowered, the officer leaned down and asked, "Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Stanley?"
"Yes," Sam answered.
"Welcome home. You're just getting back from Oregon, right?"
"Yes, sir...uh, flew in from California, actually. We just drove here from the airport. Is something wrong?"
"Mr. Stanley, we just need to ask you a few questions about your trip. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask that you come down to our office with me."
Sam stared back at him.
The officer added, "Mrs. Stanley and the baby can stay here. We'll talk to her later if we need to."
"What's this about? Am I being arrested for something?"
"No, sir. You're not under arrest. I'm just supposed to ask you to come with me to talk to one of our detectives. I think it's concerning something that happened in Oregon. Right now, that's about all I know. I'm sure he'll explain."
He straightened up and took one step back from the car door.
"Could you step out of the vehicle, sir? And I'll need to see your license, please."
The state trooper's smile never wavered as he waited for Sam to comply. Over the years, Texas DPS officers had stopped him a couple of times for minor speed violations. Their friendly, but authoritative, manner never seemed to leave much room for argument. Sam got out, removed his license from his wallet, and silently handed it over. He could think of nothing more to say. After a quick check of Sam's face against the image on the license, the officer returned it and opened the passenger door of the police cruiser. Sam was relieved to see that it was a front seat being offered. At least he wasn't being locked into the caged rear compartment like a dangerous criminal.
As the officer made his way around to the driver's side, Lynn appeared outside Sam's window. She looked stunned, standing there watching open-mouthed as her husband belted himself into the front seat of the police car.
"Call me when you find out what's going on, Sam."
Sam nodded at her through the slightly tinted glass of the car window. The officer backed the car out of the driveway and then drove slowly back toward the corner that Sam and Lynn had just come around.


Comments: 48
I have to tell you first of all that I'm afraid of heights (like Peter Faulk, who's about my size, once said on Colombo, "I don't even like being as tall as I am). So your chapter was scary before it was frightening and then became terrifying; and then it gave way to this false sense of serenity. You've done an excellent job in my view: you start "in media res," you weave the backstory in quite well so that by the time we're through with the chapter we know a great deal about the Sam and his new family as a part of the unfolding story. There are some wonderful subtle touches, like the dialogue between newlyweds about which house is theirs and Lynn's remark, "I think ours is the one with policecar in the driveway." You do a great job of startling the reader to new awarenesses (same with the rug in the road).
Your story telling reminds me of Hitchcock's primary conceit: ordinary people suddenly, innocently drawn into danger/mystery/nefarious activity. Let's hope Sam is like one of those heroes who always prevails. Well done and good luck. --Laz
The Medicine People
And Debra G., I could give you directions to the exact spot in Oregon if you and Charles should ever change your mind. My son and I actually drove it in an RV while on vacation back in 2000. We had to stop and cool the disk brakes several times. It was really steep and really lonely.
I appreciate your concern about my sweat and tears, but I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter. And if it has readers like yourself guessing about what is really going on, then I think maybe it's working. The genre I'm trying for is "murder mystery" not "murder story"
thanks for your input.
Norm
B Walker AKA Sunwanderer - The Case of the Curious Cousin
You've done a great job of creating suspense. I kept wondering what was going to happen as they made their way down the mountain. When the carpet disappeared, I got very curious. Nice twist waiting until they got back home for the things to really start happening. I'm ready for Chap 2!
Anyway, I voted 10 for the reasons I stated.
Good luck and if you have a chance I'd really appreciate your vote on my entry, A Cappella Blues.
Great visuals from the first paragraph to the last. Nice layering of auditory clues kept me right there in the vehicle. And the light moments of Sam and his young son made me care for this young family. Your active prose of the accident ratcheted up the suspense. Great hook at the end of your asterik break.
Absolutely worthy of my 10 vote.
Deborah J Ledford
STACCATO
The Friend Behind the Mask--First Chapter
Your chapter is well written and I would like to see chapter 2 to find out what they ran over in Oregon.
The Scent of Humanity
I really, really loved the tense driving scene in the beginning. It never quite went the way I expected, and then just when the accident and danger seemed to have cleared up...that's when the trouble begins. I guess we all agree that there was a body in that carpet. But WHOSE...and why will Sam get trapped in the whole spiraling mess? This is a book I'd buy -- I hope I get to see chapter 2!
Kate
Rhonda H.
Aunt Two Lips Takes a Powder
First of all thank you for your vote and comments, they are appreciated. I really like the way you tried not to put too much into the first chapter. It seems that so many twists and turns are presented in some of the others that I've read that it becomes almost tedious following them in the first two thousand words. You however, painted a subtle picture of terror and left the reader hanging. You deserve a 10 and not because you gave me one......you earned it. You should have more votes.
Great work. Looking forward to reading more by you, and I have no doubt that I will get to do so.
Best, Ricky
The Well Trained Moose
PS - I know you wrote on my early on, and I'm sorry it took so long to get to read yours. I just lost track at some point and started reading semi-randomly. Great job.
When he couldn't find the carpet and then heard that noise up the road as he searched, I was afraid some bad people were coming to get them.
But no, you went and threw a curve. And you threw another one at the end there with him being taken off to talk to the law about what happened in Oregon.
My favorite mysteries are ones that make me want to try to guess what's going on (and I especially like it when I'm not right until the end). You've done that in spades.
My only confusion is the baby. If they've only been married two weeks, is the baby theirs? Or is it hers by another spouse? Is that part of the mystery since it was a friend of hers who sent them on this road? Okay, see, now you've done it! I'm asking questions already!
Loved it!
______________
Two Birds, One Stone
Just to clear up your confusion, Andy is Sam's stepson and Lynn's son by another spouse. A later chapter fills in some history on how they met and Lynn's previous marriage. Sorry, the rest of your questions require an entire book to answer.
thanks for commenting
Norm
Nitpick: "The people at the rental place aren't going to be too happy," Lynn said. I would lose the "too". That's a minor point. Just a little tightening up.
I enjoyed this one. You did a good job of describing the wild ride down the mountain and the police interest at the end tells us that something out of the ordinary is going on. I would like to read more.
-----
I don't know if you've checked out my entry yet. It's called Char. If you've stopped by, thanks. If you haven't, you are invited.
This was AWESOME!! I found myself leaning forward, teeth clenched during the trip down the mountain. You did a fantastic job of balancing Sam's nervousness with the casual chatter among the family and then the horror of the accident. I live in Houston and am well acquainted with the friendly yet unwavering nature of our state troopers. Can't wait to see what they have in store for him -- assuming he actually makes it to the police department.
Very well done and good luck! I can't wait to read on...
Rachel
I think you've got a great style and a potentially great story. I really like your description. I have to admit I have no idea where this is gong, which makes me think either it will be a great ride or disappointing. I'm betting on the great ride, though, because I like it so far.
On thing, though, I thought the dialog between Sam and Lynn during and after the incident with the mountain road and the carpet was too flip. The characters you've created would be scared sh...less, I think, and though they might try to cover it up with banter, the fear would show through. That would also increase the suspense of an already suspenseful beginning.
I hope you make it to the next round so I can read more. Good luck.
And thanks for you comments on my entry, Horror Flick.
David V.
To other readers, I'm working my way down the list of chapters, but anybody who comments on my chapter get moved to first in line to be read and rated next. I only vote 10 as its all that matters.
MURDER IN MYKONOS
I can't wait to find out what the DPS want to question Sam about - hopefully we'll get to find out in the next round, huh!?!
Best of luck in the contest!
Kenna
Identity Crisis
Note that although the long gray thing looked like it might have been a roll of carpet, it could have been anything, anything at all. How about a tenacle of some Koonze or Kingish monster that eats tourists when it comes out of its thousand year hibernation? (Shiver, shiver)
Keep it up Norm... I want to buy the book!
Liked the couple. They seem like real people. 10.
Those of us at the far end of the alphabet would appreciate more readers if you get a chance.
Jim, The Third Hand
Finally got a chance to take a look. Good build up, active sentences. A 10.
Sam