Adoption...

personally, I would not want to bring another child into this horrible world, but how can you not want to love a child that is already here?

I used to work with abused and neglected children who had been taken away from their parents or given up by their parents. There was no greater joy than seeing these children adopted into a loving home with parents who truly loved them and wanted to take care of them. The smiles on their faces were priceless. It wasn't easy. If a child comes from an abusive or neglectful background, they will test you...because they figure deep down you are just going to reject them like their birth parents did. But one day, when they realize that you are not going to do that...they will begin to feel safe and live as children are meant to live.

I think adoption is a great idea . Just be sure both you and your hubby are both sold on the idea . Just to be approved to be come adoptive parents call be a long and very difficult and demanding process.

I highly recommend adoption. But first, do some babysitting for friends as a couple.
Child rearing puts strains on a marriage so unless both you and your husband can enter this adventure whole heartedly, delay the step. The rewards and heartache can be just as great as for your biological children.

I raised both adopted and biological children and had no difficulty loving both. The issue of tellig the adopted child he was adopted was handled in a "matter of fact" manner as if it was unimportant and was done as soon as he was able to understand what it meant. So far as I know it was never a big issue for him. He knew he was loved and valued and that was enough.

I also coach youth sports as a hobby so I am in contact with many children of school age. I have no difficulty finding affection in my heart for them either. So if you are able to love children of your body you can also love children born by others.

Best of luck.

I already had a homemade son 5 years old, and then we adopted an orphan girl from China. I was a bit concerned on how I would feel about her not being born into our family. The second I held her for the first time, I was in love with her beyond belief and became her father for life. She's an awesome human being, and I would never regret our decision to adopt her. The fact that you are providing a real chance in life, for a child who might not ever have a chance, is one of the most rewarding things you can ever do! I love my daughter so much, that it brings a tear to my eyes when I think of what might have happened to her if we had not adopted her.

If you decide to adopt, and can't easilly find a child here in America, then I encourage you to look at foreign adoption, but find a reputable agency here in the US that aids with foreign adoptions. You may also find foreign adoption to be less costly, and less stressful...if you seek an infant between one and two....If you know you want a female child, then China is a good option.

We kept part of my daughter's original name....Ming....she is a force to be reckoned with, and 12 going on 20!!! Good luck, and I hope you do adopt!

Being a part time fire/rescue worker...I have been involved with saving lives, and it has been rewarding, but saving my daughter's life has been the most fullfilling experience for me, and the love she gives back is more than I could ever have imagined, but she has been lots of work like Larry said...so make sure you want to take the leap to parenthood since it will change your life forever!

I have no personal experience with adoption, but I think it's a great idea.

I say it's a wonderful ting to adopt and I have thought about it in the past but we do not have enough money to go through the proess. Also I was blessed with four biological children of my own and that is a large family to me. If I had been unable to have kids or difficult after a certain amount then I would have searched out ways to do an adoption.
Keep us posted.

I think adoption is a beautiful process.
I also feel if there were more available adoptions there would not be as many child kidnapping as well.

I encourage you to adopt. I do believe you can love a child that is not of your flesh and blood. I have all boys, I have often thought of trying to adopt a little girl, but at my age, that is kind of out of the question. I also have three biological sons and three step children, one is a girl. So I feel I should leave the adoption to those who cannot have children of their own.

I dont know what to say...

May I make a suggestion become a foster parent 1st the courts look favorable on adoption of the people that have been the foster parent of the child 1st then to anyone else.

I think adoption is a great idea and I will consider it also if it turns out me and my future husband could not have children as I do really want to be a mother someday.

First I would like to say that I am an adopted child. My parents were older, and my mother could not successfully carry children, so I was adopted. I was not told that I was adopted until I was 24. I am now 38 and both of my parents have passed away. If think you are healthy enough to live to see your child turn 35-40, please adopt. I think I would be lost without my parents either way (adopted or not) at this age. I am married to a wonderful man whose mother is an import - I am domestic. She was born in Japan during WWII and adopted by an American family. I was born in IL, adopted and raised there all my life as well. I have 4 beautiful children. They are 12, 10, 8 and 9 months. I worry about my daughter who was a surprise this year. My sons are older and resilient, but because of my personal situation losing my folks so young, and at the time that you actually listen to your parents advice, I worry that I won't be here to give her guidance and direction when not only she needs it, but actually wants it the most.

I met my biological mother - she was nice. It was great to have the medical information. I speak to my biological half sister all the time. I love her dearly - she is like a long lost friend, that I met for the first time at 25. I say this only to preface that nothing with take the place of my parents. My father was my best friend, and my mother was my best ally.

Best of luck to you - children are a wonderful gift, no matter how they become a part of your world.

What a wonderful thing to change the life of a child.

Obviously you shouldn't bring a child home unless you and your husband are both on the same page. It may be disappointing not to have a "flesh and blood" child, but it's important to do some soul-searching about WHY that is. After all, he loves YOU and you're not his flesh and blood.

And if you DO adopt, I think it's important to know why you've made that choice-- I mean to recognize that you're really doing it for YOU and not for the child. . .

My husband and I both knew that for us, it was always about having children and never about giving birth to them. And as frustrating as the adoption process may be, it's well worth it.

As a parent who has adopted domestically and internationally (and who's in the process of adoption # 3), I can say that I NEVER think of myself as RESCUING my kids-- THEY rescued ME. And I don't think of them as "orphaned" or "abandoned"-- and I SURE hope they never think of themselves that way-- I think of them as doubly loved, first by their biological family who CHOSE to carry them and care for them until they were born, and then by us.

Finally, I'm saddened by some of the comments I hear out there in the world-- WHY should adoption only be reserved for people who cannot have biological children? Doesn't that suggest you can't love a child who is adopted as MUCH? Or that there aren't ENOUGH children available in the world (as if that would be a bad thing!)? And other statements just aren't true-- there are LOTS of children available here in the United States if you're comfortable raising a child of a different race than you. And the state doesn't pick foster parents before parents who adopt directly-- it just depends on what kind of adoption you choose to do.

Good luck!

My husband and I adopted a sibling group seven years ago.
We were together 9 years before the kids came. My first suggestion and something I wish we had done is spend some time doing foster care first. Any child that you adopt that is not an infant will have some sort of negative history. Even infants sometimes have trouble bonding with an adoptive parent. It is a long process dealing with those issues and they may never go away. I am sorry to say that being adopted by "parents who truly love them and want to take care of them" as someone stated in another comment is not always enough to make a child whole again. Do some research on bonding issues.
It has been a long hard road for us.
There are not many people who want to acknowledge that adoptions do not always end happily. In actuality, 11% of adoptions fail. This is called adoption disruption or dissolution.
My advice is to do alot of research.

We had two children, then adopted an older child...10. We love them all the same. No, wait, I just remembered. The first two were not born to me...they came to us by adoption at birth. Parenting is parenting. It doesn't matter how you become a parent. Only thing is, if you have never been around a child age two and do not know what to expect that could be a challenge. Tho...a two-year-old is probably more forgiving than a ten-year-old. I can not imagine going from child-free to the mother of three older children. That would be a night-mare. I think we could be emergency foster parents or foster grandparents once ours are all adults.

Oddly enough, our youngest child (the one who came to us at 10) is almost the most normal. All our children are beautiful, bright and talented.

About failed adoptions...when they are born to you, you don't have the option of sending them back. Parenting is about being an adult. I am sometimes frustrated by my kids...but I know full well that if they had been born to me, it would be absolutely no different. I love them without limits. They are my family.

I was adopted at birth, I am 100% for adoptions!!! I also have a little grandson that is adopted. My parents loved my unconditionally and I don't think that they ever thought of me as anything but their own.

We have 4 bio grown kids and have adopted a boy from China (at 5 1/2 yrs. old) and a boy from Guatemala (at 6 1/2 years old). We are all for adoption and hope to adopt 2 more in a year or so. I do agree that you should do a lot of research and be around kids before you adopt. We are hoping to adopt a young toddler next.

My husband felt that way when we first found out that we were infertile. Then the idea grew on him. We are now the proud parents of a 5 year old and a 9 year old daughter and have never been happier.:)

Adopting is a cool option, that said, I have to say make sure that the child you consider adopting is actually in need of adoption! I'm dealiing with a situation right now where my cousin's can't have children and want to adopt my son. They aren't even stopping to realize how hated they would be by the entire family for doing that. And they even turnned down my offer to surrigate for them. It must be my son and they are even willing to cheat and lie to get him.

That said, there are many youngsters out there that ARN'T wanted or properly cared for by their parents... you just have to make sure that's truely the situation at hand.