Who Needs a Theater? Our Entertainment is Live!

Carol D.'s very amusing article about Gun Control  reminded me of this true story from Smithville, Texas, famous for. . . well, honestly, nothing, but home to some amusing if not terribly bright people.

Smithville is a one horse town. It has one traffic light, at the corner of Main Street and "the highway,"  which is actually a two-lane thoroughfare with a 35 mph speed limit that feeds back onto the big highway that bypassed the town 35 years ago. North of the highway on Main Street lies City Hall, and behind it the police station. To the south are the two downtowns, remnants of segregation, although Smithville is no longer segregated.

I'm sure that Smithville has grown, but at the time of my story, it was home to some three thousand souls, many of whom could be found "riding the loop" on Friday and Saturday nights.

Riding the loop consisted of riding in a vehicle from the gas station on the east end of town to where "the highway" dead-ended on the west end of town, about a mile away. This was the favorite passtime for teenagers, since the movie theater was either 15 miles away in Bastrop, or 30 miles away, in La Grange, and the town's other main passtime, drinking at Huebel's Garage was not available to them before age 21. 

Participants generally stopped for a few minutes at either end to visit with others, then moved on and see who else was out.

Government housing, locally known as "the projects" was on the South side of town, somewhat removed from the highway. A simple brick apartment complex with homes that could be kept clean, it was inhabited by the usual suspects. One apartment housed a young woman, Mary, and her children. Mary was having trouble with a some-time boyfriend named Johnny. 

Truth be told, Mary and Johnny's relationship was in its death throes. They just didn't know it yet. One particular Saturday evening, Johnny paid a visit to Huebel's before paying a visit to Mary. Mary, whose chief complaint about Johnny may or may not have been that he drank, was not interested in his attentions. An argument ensued.

Mary decided at some point that it was best to remove herself from the situation, so she got her keys and left the apartment, leaving her children in the care of a neighbor. She proceded to the highway, and began riding the loop.

A short time later, when she pulled into the gas station, there was Johnny, waiting. Mary decided to let Johnny know exactly where she stood. She pulled out her handgun from under the driver's seat and brandished it for Johnny to see. Then she drove away.

Johnny also drove away, to his own residence, where he retrived a similar weapon, and returned to the gas station. When Mary returned on her next round, Johnny was waiting. When she could see him clearly, he brandished his handgun.

At this point, Mary left the gas station at a high rate of speed. Johnny, of course, followed. He followed her down the highway to Main Street, where she turned right. He turned right as well. She stopped in front of the police station, and and so did he. Then she dashed inside. Johnny, not willing that she escape him so easily, followed on her heels--still carrying his .38 special!