You probably came here looking for the most ground-breaking article ever to hit the Internet... the article where I first proved that "Velociraptors" were entirely fake and scientists suck.
That article is no longer available. It will be contained in my collection, Thinking The Lions, and 117 Other Ways of Looking At Life, which will be available in the fall of 2008 or whenever I finally finish editing it.
But do keep up on the other scientific breakthroughs I routinely unveil on Thinking The Lions: Life, only funnier.
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Comments: 67
wishing you laughter
BTW - I do think that if the velociraptor can get in through the window that he would be able to get through a secure door or secure window as well...not to speak of the entire wall for that matter.
Thanks!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deinonychus
This will explain your confusion on the Velociraptor I think. Simply put, the "Raptors" of Jurassic Park arn't what is properly called a "Velociraptor" by paleontologists, but is in fact a Deinonychus.
The Deinonychus caused a big stink among paleontologists in the 60's when John Ostrom did a study that caused a debate over how Dinos were viewed, as before the study they were typically thought of as slow, plodding, cold-blooded giants, while the Deinonychus showed evidence of being a small (relative), active, agile predator. Their bones are found in the western USA.
Meanwhile, the real Velociraptors were turkey sized scavagers who existed in central Asia and Mongolia. They had some general features in common and were probably related, but don't fit with the image of the Jurassic Park 'raptor. Notabily, they are now thought to have feathers and related closely to birds.
I think they decided to switch the names of the two simply because of how they sound, Velociraptor (Greek for "Swift Theif") rolls off the tongue much easier and sounds much cooler than Deinonychus (Greek for "terrible claw") to John Six-Pack. Other notible changes that were made are the positions the forelimbs are held in, size, and the fact that they're shown to have a flexible tail in the movies, unlike either of their real life counterparts.
"Velociraptors were not the intelligent, communicative, fierce predators shown in the movies. They were small scavengers."
It's not like dinosaurs need the publicity. People love them, and did so even when they were slow and stupid.
10*
God Bless
I find it very troubling that you could so astonishingly ignorant about a subject, yet feel your qualified to write about it. For someone who is supposedly so interested in dinosaurs, you have demonstrated a sad lack of knowledge of them.
Velociraptors were first discovered over 80 years ago and were NOT scavengers, but very quick hunters. How or why they were depicted in a fictional movie is irrelevant. And just because YOU never heard of them means less than nothing. I too have been an avid fan of paleontology since childhood and they were one of the first dinosaurs I remember reading about.
I think your complaints about scientists are misguided and frankly a little arrogant. Being a layman like you, I would never dream of writing about such a well studied science as paleontology or meteorology without doing a hell of lot more research on the subject than you have.
As far as I'm concerned, this article is without merit. You get a one.
Osborn was born in Fairfield, Connecticut, and studied at Princeton University. He was professor of comparative anatomy from 1883 to 1890 at Princeton. In 1891 he was hired jointly by Columbia University and the American Museum of Natural History, New York. He became professor of biology at Columbia University, becoming professor of zoology in 1896. At the museum he succeeded Morris K. Jesup as president in 1908, serving until 1933, during which time he accumulated one of the finest fossil collections in the world. He assembled a great team of fossil hunters and preparators, which included Roy Chapman Andrews, one of the prototypes of Indiana Jones, and Charles R. Knight, who made murals of dinosaurs in their habitats and sculptures of the living creatures.
He was mentored by the paleontologist Edward Drinker Cope, whom he met on a fossil-hunting expedition in Wyoming . The articulate Fairfield Osborne joined the US Geological Survey in 1900 and became senior vertebrate paleontologist in 1924. He led many fossil-hunting expeditions into the American Southwest, starting with his first to Colorado and Wyoming in 1877, when he met Cope. He described and named Ornitholestes in 1903, Tyrannosaurus rex in 1905, the Pentaceratops in 1923, and the Velociraptor in 1924.
About a dozen Velociraptor fossils have been found, including one who died in a battle to the death with Protoceratops and two hatchling Velociraptor skulls that were found near an oviraptorid nest in Mongolia. Fossils have been found in Mongolia, Russia, and China
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In any event, scientists are sure that Velociraptor Mongoliensis, the one featured in the movie (only it wasn't because they used the name of one dinosaur but the build of another dinosaur to make it more interesting) was definitely found in 1924,
Only they're also 100% positive that the velociraptor was discovered in 1971.
Which is my point, since at least one scientist agrees that all the knowledge about velociraptors was largely speculative at the time of the movie.
If the scientists don't know what the facts are, but insist that they do, then I can hardly be blamed for doubting them.
Then again, Ada's right. While the article was based on fact and reason (something science has largely abandoned), it was intended to be a humorous look at that.
Keep in mind I might be confused, since I didn't read the whole thing. I did not rate this.
Great article too!
It was deemed the "Candyassraptor".
Features were the chiffon scarf and spike heels....
Happy Halloween! ! !
Interesting information you'v e presented and I appreciate you sharing it. I did not know that about velociraptors. Not being that much into dinosaurs, I took it for granted they existed.
But I'm with you on the Spring starting date issue. That's always annoyed the heck out of me, too, even if I don't live in Wisconsin where it's cold most of the year. It is still annoying.
I just wanted to say I am finally going through what is now under 7,600 pieces of gather new mail that is in my inbox on here. So with that in mind I have finally come to a piece of mail that was addressed to me in regards this article submission you have created to share with the gather community. Thank you for taking the time and sharing your piece with us here at gather. :o)
And as well Merry Christmas... and Happy Holidays... :o)