Death of a Friendship: Part 1

If there's a death, there has to be a birth first.  The birth of my friendship with HER.  I met her in 8th grade. It was my first time at public school and I was scared to death. Previously my schooling had been at two religious schools. I had heard whispered words from fellow students about how horrible public schools were and if I could have dug a ditch and lived in it until I was an adult to avoid going to public school, I would have.

Public school wasn't as bad as I had heard but for an extremly shy child, it was still hard. I didn't have a bubbling personality, I wasn't a go getter. I was the girl who hung around the sidelines, the student you saw sitting by the tree deperately clutching her book and pretending that she didn't see the other students having fun and talking to each other. Just pretending to be invisible but wanting someone, anyone, to offer a kind word.

I don't remember my first impression of HER. We were seated at the same table in English class. Two other students sat with us so I'm not sure how we really started talking. Over time though we started hanging out. Eating lunch together. Sitting at recess together. I went over to her house once, she came over to mine a few times. The mobile home park that my grandparents managed had a Halloween party. I invited HER and she came in a costume she put together herself.  She came from a family even poorer then mine and was always crafty that way.

She introduced me to another girl, named Misti. We became really tight. Misti was needy, I was needy. It seemed like a friendship made in heaven,  but really it would turn up being hell. Misti had a bad unbringing with a Mother that treated her daughter older then she really was. Misti would introduce me to things that I never otherwise would have thought of or done, but Misti is a different story entirely.

Now back to HER. You may wonder why I haven't said HER name. It's not the right time to introduce her by name. Years later from the beginning, she would break my heart more then a lover ever did. I read in a book once that losing a close friend is like becoming an orphan and it really is... I feel like a piece of me will always be missing.

After I became friends with Misti, the three of us were friends, though I grew closer to Misti instead of HER. We still hung out but our friendship hadn't amassed to what it would be in the future. We would grow closer in high school and even closer still after.

She was my first friend in public school and I'll always be thankful that she took that first step when as a scared 13 year old at a new school, I couldn't.