Can you solve this?
d(xxTAx) = (xxT(A+AT)+xTAxI )dx
Don't worry, I don't think I can either. However, if you and I were to have a few courses in advanced mathematics, it is pretty reasonable to assume that most of us could handle such a problem even if it seems "impossible now" simply because we aren't born with the awareness of how such a thing is solved but it doesn't mean we can't learn how to do it. Thus, why should I ask you to do such a thing?
Well, I wanted to relate the same thing to parenting. Often parents are expected to know how to be a parent. Why is that? For 1st time parents, it is not as if they've ever had a kid before and children and developmental (physical, mental, psychological, emotional, etc.) milestones are not things that we are born knowing. Thus, it is CRUCIAL for new parents to seek outside help and education to be the best type of a parent.
For example, why does a child cry? A child may cry because they are hungry, tired, full of poop, etc. However, there are other reasons that we may NOT be aware of. For example, children may cry or act out because of a lack of family structure. There may be an otherwise unknown health problem as well.
**3% of parents report that they have smothered, slapped, or shaken their infant (age 1-3 months) in an attempt to stop crying.** Now this only show how many actually REPORTED that they've done it so this may even be higher.
What does this mean? It means that both the parents and the children need support. It is just as crucial to let a child who pees his/her pants that they aren't the only ones who do it. Often the child is so embarrassed and may not openly discuss what is wrong. What's also important is to reassure the parents and help them understand that a child who, for example, pees his/her pants isn't "bad" or have a "problem" and that it may indeed be quite normal to happen sometimes. 16% of 5 year olds have an accident at night, 5% of 10 year olds do as well, and even 1-2% of those 15 years of age or older may have an accident at night.
Good news! Often, there can be things that can be fixed to help with this. For example, with a bed wetter, it is important to make a few lifestyle changes:
1) no caffeine. Soda is a diuretic and makes the child urinate more.
2) No fluids the last 2 hours before bed. There is only so long a child can hold one's bladder.
3) No added salt/salty foods after lunch. Why? Simple, salty foods lead to water retention at 1st. Later, the kidneys then get rid of the retained water (and now you'll have more fluids coming out than you would have thought).
4) Empty bladder twice before bedtime. Kids are still learning (and their muscles and nerves are still learning to coordinate the signals with their brains) the process of how to go to the bathroom and when it should be done.
5) Keep a journal if necessary. For example, an active kid may be doing a ton of activities during the day and not be drinking fluids to meet their body's needs. Thus, at night, the body tells the child to take in more fluids to keep the child properly hydrated and now you have the problem where a child is getting their day's fluids mostly in the evening/night.
Now I only wrote about crying and about having accidents, but there are many issues with children that neither the child nor the parent may be aware of how to handle. Thus, two things, if you are a parent, do your research and ask for help. Chances are that there are certain things that may be beneficial to you and your child that you are unaware of. Second, if you know someone who isn't the "perfect parent", stop and think about the situation. It's not that the parent is a bad person or that the child is a bad child. They just simply may not be experienced with how childhood and development work. You're better off helping them to learn rather than simply scolding them (making it less likely the parent or child will want to consider new approaches).
Ultimately, understand that no one should go at anything alone. The more educated we are, the better. Then again, with most things in life (politically, culturally, socially, etc.), the more open to new ideas and promoting the availability of new ideas, the better.
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Comments: 66
j is the square root of -1
XR and XI are the real and imaginary parts of X = XR + jXI
XC is the complex conjugate of X
X: denotes the long column vector formed by concatenating the columns of X (see vectorization).
A ¤ B = KRON(A,B), the kroneker product
A • B the Hadamard or elementwise product
matrices and vectors A, B, C do not depend on X
Now on to parenting
Having been there I am no expert but your advice is sound
Well so was I but not my kids.you can be strick with out beatting a child,take away all of the favorite things that they think they need.
Great article, Dan
..but I couldn't solve that to save my life :)
thought,Dan, very good points.......now, where were you acouple of YEARS ago, when i NEEDED some parenting skills??? had to thow up an article today about my one and only........didn't have a manual, so...kinda.....failed? parent 101......wah!!!
My children (17 and 9) both have ADD and ADHD respectively and the older one has learning disabilities too... So I've had to learn to have the patients of a saint. That said I've also had to learn to ask for help and when the first doctor doesn't know the answer or whether behaviors are side effects of medicine or just behaviors that are part of their particular disorder... So I've had to do a HUGE amount of research and get second and/or third oppinions from behavioral psychiatrists, psychiatrists, etc...
Needless to say... AMEN Dan = good points. And Debra, unfortunately my parents don't know how to handle my children and have yelled and grabbed hair, etc...
I decided a long time ago I wasn't going to be like my parents - I wanted to learn from their mistakes. Not to say that they did anything wrong! It's too bad children don't come with user manuals. Earlier generations just do the best they can...
Have a great evening all!!
Good points, but whatever happened to plain ole common sense, people?! You don't need advice to know that shaking, smothering or slapping a baby is just plain wrong. Yes, there are some instances where I could see a parent asking for advice, but for the most part, it's not that complicated as to the physical care of a child. If you can't grasp that, then perhaps you shouldn't be a parent, period.
good advice on the parenting
I'll be "dan"ned. This is a great article. Good hook, good info, good organization.
I had just come home form giving birth to my son and giving him his first bath. The diaper service arrived so I just wrapped him up in a towel and went to the door. The diaper looks down at him and says " he doesn't look right. He looks like he is having a hard time breathing"
I looked down and he was red and his face was constrained. His little legs all curled up around his chest. Well that was it! Thank god it was aug, because we lived in Boston because I didn't even bothering dressing him and rushed him into the local emer. room from the hospital we had just left screaming that my 4 day old baby ws having a hard time breathing. They immediately took us in to a room as doctors's, nurse's and other gathered around as mu son proceeded to take his first poop! Talk about embrassing..but relieved none the less! I was just 19 and new NOTHING!! All mom's young or old should be able to ask for helppwith out feeling it lessens them as a parent. Kis'd don't come with instructons!
again great read and very informative!! Thank you. :)
I'm completely expecting a vegetable-eating exercise next. ;-)
Good article, Dan! (The answer to your opening equation, BTW, is "42.")
Some good parenting ideas though. Thanks.
Educating new parents can only go so far. Any new parent (not just the young ones) Need a shoulder to lean on. There were many times hen my husband would come home to the house a wreck and me with it just because the baby had colic. he would thankfully take over for me while I took a much needed hour long break and recharged my batteries.
both of my kids are all grown up..but I tell you, every minute seemed like a learning experience with both of them...never stop learning to learn...Good job!!!
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Betty D
What does? Well, in our case, it was a simple nose drop medication, very mild, that worked like a charm. In time, of course, our son outgrew this but many children go through the shame of trying to change their lifestyle or mood and diet and STILL wet the bed. I just wanted to throw this out there as food for thought.
I am commenting on all of your articles and photos as you have asked us to do in the mass email sent out! Not all my comments will be personalized as there are 20 pages of articles to read through and even more than that on photos and I would rather spend the time reading and looking and enjoying then writing! Btw I saw you were listed as having 20 pages of articles but it will only let me see 19 of them so I will Comment on everything it lets me see!
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