October 14th 2007.....

The Key words here are, catalyst, disingenuous and illusionist. Three words that roll from my lips, so-so frequently of late. It’s coming again, were the days have not much criticism from me. I see, I have seen it, it is in signs, symbols, in the movements of other people, over and over again and again, and all I can do is just watch and wait for my premonitions to confirm. It’s all right, sometimes I wish for the days of time moving at a snail crawl. Even through the bad times; at least it left me some wisdom. I appreciate everything happening around me, things can be worse; they can be better though. Some times I act, and in my acts I hope, and with my hopes comes that drive, ya-know the drive. Maybe its love I lack right now, maybe its loneliness’ I am feeling right now, maybe its boredom that I am dreading right now. I think it is none of those things, there are lots of subtlety that I let slip away from my reach but it does not disapear instead, encircle around me, giving the illusion of being like one of those white butterflies you see in the grassy patches on the fancy sidewalks of new york city. It is always in the tranquil air I get this way.